


Stark, the soldier

by Aslaksen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A lot of feels, Adults being adults, Anger, Army, Avengers Compound, Avengers Family, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Crying, Deadpool being Deadpool, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Family Feels, Heroes, Life is hard, Love, Male-Female Friendship, Near Death Experiences, OFC is badass, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pranks, Rolemodels, SOLDIER - Freeform, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Support Group, Tony as a uncle, Uncle-Niece Relationship, Undercover, War, clint sucks, peter is ofc's friend, survival anxiety, survival guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-30 13:25:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 56,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13952517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aslaksen/pseuds/Aslaksen
Summary: A young woman named Jordan Stark comes back home from four years of being in the army. But how can she continue to live on like nothing happened when her entire squad got shot down. This is the story of how Jordan tries to figure out how to live with PTSD, as well as many other problems that comes from being in a war zone. Just add that to her being Tony's niece and has to live with the Avengers. But it helps when she has some nice eye candy, a dark haired man with a even darker past.





	1. Chapter 1

J. Stark.

That's what stood on her green, camouflaged army uniform. She wore a pair of beige boots and a patrol cap that matched her outfit perfectly.

 

Jordan, as soon as she entered the big entrance of the Avengers compound she started to tear up as she saw her uncle and Pepper a bit in front of her. She lunged into their arms and that was when the real flood of tears started. The couple backed a bit to look at her. 

“Oh, honey I am so happy you're alive.” Tony said as he dried some of his tears on his suit arm. 

 

Jordan smiled to him and hugged him once more. “I'm glad you're alive too, since you don't have the safest job either.” She said with light tease, making him chuckle a little.

 

They got into one of the elevators and one of Tony's suits took her big army bag and Jordan just shrugged like she'd seen that kind of stuff all the time. They began small talking and trying not to cry their eyes out as they waited for the common floor level. Once on the common floor they stepped out and Tony led them to the kitchen area, the suit headed to Jordan's new room to drop off her bag. Tony were talking excitedly about showing Jordan his new inventions. 

 

He got interrupted by Clint, who sat at the couch group near the dining table with Natasha. The spy shot up from his seat. “Jordan!” He shouted loudly, making Natasha turn to look at the young woman who had joined them. In the mean time, Jordan had frozen in her place where she stood between Pepper and Tony. She began to see flashbacks from a way too recent time but snapped out of it when she felt Clint hugging her. 

“Don't shout my name like that.” She whispered to him. 

 

“Okay.” He said with a happy tone, excited to see her again after all these years.

 

She relaxed into the hug as she heard him crying. “Goddamnit kiddo, you had us worried sick about you when you left.” He let her go and stepped back a step. “I'm glad you're back.” He said more softly and wiped away his tears.

 

Jordan gave him a small smile and tried to dry her own tears. Before she could say anything, Natasha gave her a bear hug, making her smile big. The spy was not a hugger and when she did hug someone, it meant a lot. Jordan hugged her back and let her tears be free. 

 

Natasha let the younger woman go and gave her a gaze over. “You've grown.” She stated with a smile.

 

“Yeah, I'm 22 now, not 18 anymore... it tends to happen when it's mixed with daily workout.” Nat smiled to Jordan and gave her another, but quicker hug.

 

“Sit down, let's catch you up.” Tony said friendly and gestured to the seat next to the couch next to the spies, who had taken their places once again. 

Tony and Pepper sat down on the couch to the left of the spies, but before Jordan could sit down she heard voices close in and when she turned around to see who it was she froze up, not like flashback froze up, this one was a good freeze up. 

 

“Jo-Jordan is that you?” Steve asked in disbelieve. The man on his right looked with slight big eyes of interest to the young woman.

 

She nodded slowly to the Captain and that was all he needed to know before he gave her a long bear hug. 

 

“I-I'm so happy you're alright!” Steve had let go a bit of here to look down at her face as he spoke. As in a thought, he let her go and stepped back half a step. “Are you alright?” He asked her gently, yet with seriousness. 

 

“Ye-yeah.” She choked on her own words due to being nervous. She cleared her throat and looked back to Steve. 

 

“I'm alive.” She said with a small smirk. “But, uh. I really think I should go take a shower and get changed then I'll properly engage with whatever the hell the Avengers do on a Friday evening.” She went from awkward to slightly less awkward and left to find her room with Jarvis help.

 

Once she was clean and dressed in fresh comfortable clothes (no army clothes), she found the group sitting in the chairs and couches in the couch group. She walked up to Steve and looked down right awkward as hell.

 

“Want a do over with the hug, now with normal ass clothes, yet, with a still very awkward human being?” She asked, awkwardly but not as much as she had thought it would sound like.

 

Steve smiled big to her. “Of course,” He stood up and gave her a bear hug. “Awkward hugs are the best.” He joked to her and chuckled and she joined in a little. He let her go and sat back down.

 

She took a deep breath and walked up to Bucky, who were sitting about twenty centimeters from Steve. 

 

“All I can say is basically: sorry, for earlier and well, for me always being awkward around you, Sergeant.” Bucky looked a bit confused now. 

 

“Because,” She continued. “I'm a huge fan of you and, well, Cap for that too. Look, you two are the biggest reason I joined the army.” She gave him a awkward smile.

 

Bucky looked surprised but gave her a friendly smile, Steve looked like a kicked puppy. She turned her attention to the latter. 

“Steve,” She sighed. “It's true and I won't lie about it, but you can't do this shit again.” 

 

Bucky looked like he was watching a tennis game, from Jordan to Steve and on so.

 

“Jo, it's just that you were only 18 and Tony made some very good arguments to why you should have stayed.” Steve said friendly to her.

 

She gave him a sad smile. “Haven't heard 'Jo' for a while, most on the squad seemed to like that I have a guy name.” She said with small humor in her voice. Her voice died out and she seemed to zone out for half a second but snapped quickly out of it.

 

“Ehm, yeah. I should probably introduce myself now,” She looked back to Bucky and gave him a friendly smile. “I'm Jordan Stark, and yes, Tony is my annoying as hell uncle., don't hold it against me.” She said as she shook his hand. 

 

He let out a small chuckle at the last part she said. “James Barnes, but call me Bucky-”

 

“Because your middle name is Buchanan.” She said without thinking of it, making the room fill with laugher. 

She gave him a slight awkward smile. “Sorry, but I try to know everything I can about someone I look up too. I do hope I don't sound super creepy about it though.” 

 

“No problem, and I think it's great that you wanted to help the country.” He said with a smile.

 

“Enough flirting you two, Jordan why don't you sit down and tell us the gossip.”Clint said friendly.

 

Jordan sat down between him and Nat and rested back into the couch and sighed. “Oh, where to start...Oh, there is a rumor going around that Hawkeye and Black Widow are a couple.” She wiggle a brow suggestively to the spies.

 

“Yeah. We all know the public likes to ship us, not happening. Anything else?” Nat asked her.

 

“Ehm, we” She scratched her neck a little. “We mostly just planned stuff for the squad, didn't really have time to gossip about the Avengers.” 

 

“Anything else then?” Tony asked, wanting to know what his niece had been up to during her time in the army.

 

She took a shaky breath and bit down on her lower lip. “Ca- I can't.” She said in a low tone. “I just got back today... I- it's too soon.”

 

“Honey, it's okay you don't have to say anything you don't want to. How about we instead fill you in on what's new for the team?” Natasha had placed a arm around Jordan's shoulders and spoke gently to her. Jordan gave her a small nod and the group told her all about the prank wars that could happen sometimes, to the missions and a lot of in the middle stuff.

 

After listening for hours, even after dinner there where still things to get caught up on, Jordan felt how she started to zone out and not wanting to show the team her struggles, she said goodnight to them and got into her room. She locked the door and sat down on the carpet clad floor and began crying.


	2. Day two

The next morning she got dressed and ready for a chill day at the tower, dressed in comfy, worn in dark jeans, a black tee shirt with the big yellow text “ARMY” on. She had only army clothes beside her sweatpants and hoodie she had worn the evening before and due to all the crying and flashbacks, those were drenched in sweat and had to go into the laundry basket. Since she was so used to having her hair in an updo, so she did one this morning, it looked like a messy bun. 

 

She joined the team for breakfast, only a raised eyebrow from Steve when he saw her shirt. She took a seat and rolled her eyes to him. 

 

“I know, I need to go shopping for new clothes.” Steve gave her a small smile, she just stuck her tongue out to him.

 

“I can help you. How would you describe your style?” Natasha asked her.

 

“Um... green? Grey? Camouflaged?” Nat raised a eyebrow to her. Jordan sighed. “I know! My style has been army clothes for four years and before that, I don't remember what I used to like. Ugh.” 

 

“Hey, it's okay. We'll find you something that you'll like.” Nat reassured her. 

 

Jordan gave the spy a small thankful smile and went back to chose between the two different types of cereal she would like to eat. She squinted her eyes a little as she read both packages. She sighed and looked from one to the other. It was a easy choice, but she could not chose. She slowly began to panic, how would she choose clothes if she couldn't even choose a cereal. She zoned out and got stuck in flashbacks due to the pressure she put on herself.

 

“Jordan! JORDAN!” She heard not from her flashbacks shouting, but from someone a bit away from her.

 

Without thinking, just acting on the shouting and her background in the army, Jordan quickly got up from her chair, a gun in her hand that made the clicking sound, signaling the safety was off and the gun cocked directed at where Clint had stood. As she did she shouted “Get down!”   
Clint, being Clint and a spy, listened to her and took cover.

 

It went quiet, everyone on high alert in case she would fire the gun. “Jordan, it's okay. You're home now, you're not in danger.” Steve, who were the closest to her, spoke gently to her.

 

She flicked her eyes back and forth and soon she looked terrified. She hurried to put the safety back on before she handed the gun to Steve. She sat down in her chair, hands trying to cover her face as she cried.

 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” She mumbled a few time to them. Suddenly she looked up and shoot Clint a look, she saw him standing up from his cover.

 

“Clint?” She asked him. 

 

“I'm sorry, I just wanted to know if you wanted pancakes and I thought you'd fallen asleep at the table.” The man truly looked sorry.

 

She dried her tears and gave him a furious look. “Clint, I fucking told you yesterday to not shout my name like that!” She said with a stern, angry tone, making the man wanting to take cover but stood still.

 

“I'm sorry, I should have thought about you being sensitive to loud noises.” He apologized and looked like he was deeply disappointed in himself.

 

She dried her face and took a shaky breath. “Sensitive to loud noises, yeah... something like that...” She muttered and finally picked the cereal that looked the least boring. 

 

After breakfast Jordan locked herself into her room and spent until lunch time there, trying to figure out how to apologies to the team and get them to keep this from Tony and Pepper. She did not have such luck, as they were sitting at the dining table, the team in the couch group, and gave her concerned looks as Pepper gestured for her to sit down in front of them.

 

She took a deep breath before she was the one to break the silence. 

 

“I know I shouldn't have pulled the gun on Clint, but-” 

“-But what? Do you think it's okay to just walk around here with a loaded gun?” Tony asked in a disappointed dad tone.

 

“No...” She shook her head and looked at the table. “I don't even remember carrying the gun.” She admitted in a low tone.

 

“Jordan, sweetie. You know we wouldn't suggest this if we didn't think it would help you, but you should think about seeing someone about this.” Pepper said gently.

 

“A shrink? I don't want to talk about crappy feelings about something I can't change with some random person.” Jordan muttered.

 

“Just someone. We both think, hell, even the team thinks it would help you if you just started talking with someone, anyone, about this.” Tony said and gave her a sad look.

“Fine. As long as it's on my terms and this whoever won't force me to talk, I guess I can give it a shot.” Jordan said in a sigh, making the couple smile to her.

 

“Great, that's great progress already.” Pepper cheered.

Jordan gave her a angry look. “Pepper, I won't do the “you get a star if you do this” crap.” Pepper gave her a small nod.

 

“Also,” Tony added, making Jordan focus on him. 

 

“Why do I get the feeling that I'm not gonna like whatever you're about to say?” Jordan said in a tired voice.

 

“Jordan, we can't have you zoning out and having war flashbacks while carrying a gun. So, no gun until you get cleared for it by the medic bay.” Tony said in his dad tone.

 

“Guess I had that one coming, huh. What about the knives?” Jordan asked friendly.

 

“No weapons as long as you're not cleared for it.” Tony told her.

 

“Ugh, I AM cleared for the weapons. Army equals weapons.” She sighed.

 

“Re-cleared. And until you get the clearance we won't talk more about this.” Pepper told her a bit sternly.

 

“Fine, just tell me where I can find someone that's got their own hell of flashbacks.” Jordan said and left the table before getting an answer as she got back to her room.

 

Later that evening Steve knocked on Jordan's door. “Oh, hey Cap. What's up?” 

 

“Hey, I know you know we heard you, Pepper and Tony talking.” Steve said.

“Yep. I guess you all wanted the confirmation that I'm not gonna shoot you.” She said with light humor.

 

Steve gave her a sad look. “Look, I have a friend back in DC that works with people who's been in war. He's not a therapists, but maybe give him a chance?” 

 

“Fine, but I'm really awkward so I don't know how much I'll say to him.” Steve smiled to her.

“Great, he'll be here tomorrow at ten.” With that they said goodnight and Steve headed to his room.


	3. A shrink? Hell no!

But a good night was not gonna happen for Jordan. First of, her bed was way too soft, so she had put her pillow and duvet onto the carpeted floor the night before and she did the same thing this night, only she wasn't getting any sleep at all as the flashbacks and survival guilt kicked in. She took a cold shower in the middle of the night and went back to her homemade bed in hope of at least getting some sleep. It ended up with her waking up, drenched in sweat, a sore throat from screaming at six in the morning.

She took another shower and got dressed in her clothes from the day before, just changing her underwear and socks. 

 

She went to the kitchen and got a cup of chamomile tea and sat down on the couch in the couch group and turned on the tv. She watched some re runs of some shows and when the clock became eight, the team started to get their breakfasts ready.

 

Bucky was the first one out. He looked a little surprised a seeing her already in the kitchen, as the other day she had gotten out of her room at nine o'clock. 

 

“Good morning.” He said friendly to her. She turned to look at him, a small smile show.

“Morning.” She greeted. 

 

“You want same cereal as yesterday?” Bucky offered.

“Uhm, I guess so?” She said a bit unsure. 

Bucky gave her a friendly smile. “You know, there's a ton of stuff in the pantry if you want some other brand or just something else beside cereal.” He offered her friendly.

 

“I think just cereal and tea will do for now, thanks.” Bucky nodded.

 

Soon he put down her cereal with milk at the coffee table, as well as a new cup of camomile tea. He went back to the kitchen island to get his own breakfast and joined her on the couch.

“Thank you.” She said politely. 

Bucky gave her a small nod. “Can I ask you something?” He asked her friendly.

 

Jordan tensed up a little, but nodded to him to ask away. “You're no longer used to making choices, are you?” He asked her gently.

 

She looked down to her tea for a second, then put it back down on the table and looked at Bucky. 

 

“I was part of special ops. I had a commander and I had to follow the orders, to just choose everything now by myself, including freaking clothes and styles... I didn't choose that kind of stuff for four years, non stop. I don't think I can ever walk into a store and pick out a shirt without... you know... all the shit that comes with the job.” She said and let out a deep breath.

 

Bucky surprised her by chuckle a little. “I thought your biggest struggle would be your PTSD, not shopping for clothes.” He said in friendly tease.

 

She huffed but smiled a little back to him. “I am not diagnosed with it-” she said and started to eat her cereal.

“-Yet.” Bucky, unhelpfully, added. 

She raised a eyebrow to him. “...And Steve said you were the nice one of the two of you.” She teased back.

 

“I was, but then some shit...happened and I had a hard time getting back to being myself.” He said in a sad tone.

 

“I just know that somehow you're back, stronger and with a metal arm. Wanna fill in the blanks, Sergeant?” She said gently.

 

Bucky gave her a gentle look. “Would it help you get better if I'd tell you what I struggled with and still am?” 

 

“Yes, I think so. But, then I have to tell you... and I can't say much since it's all classified.” She said in a small voice. 

 

“If de-classifying some files will help you, I can get Stark on it.” Bucky offered friendly.

 

She nodded and they spent the rest of the breakfast talking and getting to know each other, until Sam arrived and told her they could talk wherever she felt comfortable. 

 

She shrugged and looked back to Bucky, as if he held the answer. Bucky gave her a friendly look.

“You need to learn to make your own choices.” He said gently to her.

 

“N-no, I don't know. I really don't know this place and where I can go and not go, I do know I am not allowed to go near anywhere the weapons are.” She had started to get a slight zoned out look.

 

Bucky gently placed his hands at her upper arms. 

“Hey, look at me. Focus on me. You're rambling and that causes you to freak out. Just breath.” He said gently to her.

 

She took some deep breaths and calmed down. Bucky let his small grip go, and she shot him a look.

 

“Fine, just this one time but next time you have to choose the location.” Bucky said friendly to her then looked up at Sam.

“Maybe outside? There's some benches somewhere outside, at the front.” Bucky offered to Sam.

 

“Sound good to me, Miss Stark?” Sam asked her friendly.

 

“Oh, uhm it sounds good.” She got up from her seat and reached her hand over to Sam to shake it. “I'm Jordan, by the way. And I'm really awkward.”

 

Sam shook her hand and smiled to her. “Sam Wilson, I like talking.” She gave him a small smile and said bye to Bucky as she followed Sam out.

 

Once they found a bench Jordan liked (the other three had bird poo all over them) they sat down and enjoyed the warmth of the sun.

 

“Jordan, I noticed you have a hard time making choices. Want to talk about it?” Sam said friendly. 

 

She shrugged. “I'm so used to taking orders, have been for four years non stop.”

 

“Hm, and where were you stationed?” 

“Can't tell you, it's classified.” 

 

“Your squad, tell me about it?”

 

“I'd rather not.” Jordan said with a small shiver.

“Why not?” Sam asked her gently.

 

“Because they all died and I'm the only survivor of that squad. And when I think about them... the flashbacks starts.”

 

“What happened to your squad?”

“They- we got intel and went to get back one of our own. But it was a trap.” Jordan hadn't noticed that she was crying, but Sam did.

 

“Want to tell me how you survived?” He asked her a bit more gently.

 

She took a shaky breath and nodded her head.

“I was shot in the neck by a dart. I guess it was some kind of drug or something because I couldn't move as the squad got killed, one after the other. I-I could after what felt like an eternity move a bit and called back up. But by then there was just two more members of the squad... the commander, he got his head blown off. And my best friend since I joined the army got shot at least ten tines in the chest.”

 

Jordan was sobbing now, but still talking as clear as she could.

 

“At the mission before all this happened, I accidentally showed the enemy that I can manipulate air into doing whatever I want basically. My guess is that if the backup team hadn't been fast enough, I'd probably be used against my team.” 

 

Sam took a deep breath and gave her a gentle look. “Jordan, what do you think is your biggest struggle right now.” He asked gently, but she could hear in his voice that he didn't like to think that someone as young as her would probably have been played operations on right now if she hadn't been lucky.

 

“Flashbacks mostly. Making choices is hard and I can't sleep in my bed, I've been sleeping on the floor these past two nights...whenever I actually can sleep.” She muttered the last part as she dried her face.

 

“Yeah, I had the same problem when I got back, Steve too. Bucky have actually not told me if he had a problem with his bed being too soft.” Sam said with a small smile, which she returned.

 

“Is there anything, besides talking, that can help me?” She asked in a tired tone.

 

“Yeah, medication. But for that you need to see a therapist.” Sam said.

 

“Ugh.” She said in a groan.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	4. Shopping

She didn't talk more with Sam that day. After talking about things she'd rather forget she felt exhausted and went to her room to take a nap. As always when she got some sleep, it didn't last long until the nightmares began and she would scream until she'd wake herself up. She darted up into sitting position and tried to calm herself down. After a few deep breaths she left her bed to go take a quick shower to wash off all the sweat that the nightmare had brought with it.

 

She put on a dark green teeshirt, again “ARMY” was written on it, with black. She put on a pair of grey sweatpants, again they had the matching text as the shirt. She put her hair up in a high pony tail and put on a black dad cap as well as her somewhat modern looking sunglasses that she hung at the neckline of her shirt.

She headed out of her room and found Nat, Bucky and Steve in the kitchen. The two latter were siting at the kitchen island as Nat got some sandwiches for them. She turned to see Jordan joining them.

 

“I see you're not hiding the fact that you were in the army. Cool, just maybe don't start wearing full uniform, I think Tony would blow his head with anger if you did.” Nat said in a friendly tease.

 

Jordan just rolled her eyes at her friend and went to stand next to her, resting against the cupboard next to the sink. Her front to the super soldiers.

 

“I've told you, I don't really have non army clothes and I am not going shopping in fucking stores.” She said in a tired tone to her friend.

 

Nat finished up the men's sandwiches and served them. She then looked up at her friend with a raised brow. 

 

“First off: It's called sex stores, and that's just toys they sell” They heard the men choking a little on their food but ignored them. “Second, online shopping is easy. Why don't you just get your laptop and I'll show you some good stores.” Nat said friendly.

 

Jordan nodded and left to get her laptop, soon back again the spy and the soldier stood on the opposite side then the men, looking at clothing stores. 

 

“So, go on till you find something you like and just put it in the cart. I need to make another sandwich, you want one?” 

 

Jordan, focused on her mission just waived off the offer. She heard Nat huff at that but knew there wasn't any hard feelings. Jordan scrolled through and found a navy blue tee shirt. She smiled and clicked on it. Then her smile disappeared. 

 

“I finally find something I like and they don't have my size.” She groaned to Nat, who went to double check.

 

“Just order it from another site, it's just any ordinary navy blue teeshirt. They are everywhere.” Nat said and went back to the sandwich.

 

Nat finished up her sandwich and took her plate so she could stand next to Jordan and eat. After a while Jordan smiled and showed Nat and the men her cart of clothes.

 

“I'm going with the bases for now, whatya think?” She asked them with a smile.

 

“Oh honey.” Nat said.

 

“I did good, right?” Jordan tried again, but could see that her friends were pained to find something good to say.

 

“It's a lot of green.” Steve said.

 

“And black.” Bucky added.

 

“Honey, it looks like you never left the army. The point of shopping is that you get to find your own style.” Nat said gently to her as she spun the laptop back to her.

 

Jordan took a quick look at the items and sighed. “You're right. All I kept thinking of when I choose them was to not be seen...” She trailed off and shot a disappointed look at her friends.

“What do you think about actually going into a store, with me, and I will help you find something that doesn't make you want to hide in the dessert or wherever you were.” Nat said friendly.

“It wasn't the dessert, it could get pretty hot but I can't tell you anymore about the place.” Jordan said to her friend.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes to her. “But, fine I guess I have to go to a fucking- no sex store, a freaking clothes store then.” Jordan said in defeat.

 

“But,” Nat looked at her friend. “I-” Jordan hung a bit with her head. “What if everything goes to hell, just cause I'm in a store.” She said in a low voice.

 

“You just need to focus on something, anything that helps.” Jordan looked up to Bucky and sent him a awkward smile.

 

“Mostly I just wait till it passes.” She admitted and moved a little due to the nervousness she suddenly felt.

 

“And last time I snapped out of it relatively quickly, it was you. I don't know what you did, but hey it did the job.” 

 

Bucky gave her a sad smile. “I didn't do much really.”

 

“We can do this chat all day, or we try and get you some new clothes. So, are you in you're out, soldier?” Nat asked in a rather stern tone.

 

Jordan bit down hard, making her jaw almost pop. She did not like Nat's attitude and calling her soldier made her remember the squad. She gave her friend a angry look.

 

“Why would I want to go shopping with you when you're acting like this?” Jordan said sternly back.

Nat held her ground. “Because it's something you need to do. Or are you gonna stay here and just wear the clothes I know you'd rather burn then wear again. Better choose quick, car's leaving in three minutes.” 

 

Nat took a step closer to Jordan and smirked. “Or are you too much of a pussy to do it?” She said in a low, mocking tone.

 

She stepped back and where just about to turn when she heard Bucky break the silence.

 

“Was that really necessary?” 

Nat shot him a wink and turned and headed toward the elevators.

 

“For fucks sake, I'm in!” She turned around and smiled to Jordan.

“But I'm driving.” Jordan ordered.

 

Nat shook her head. “Sorry kiddo, no can do. You see, with the PTSD and with how unstable you are right now, you don't get to drive.” 

 

“Seriously? First no weapons and now no driving?! Are you making my life a living hell by purpose?” 

 

“Jordan, calm down.” Steve said gently to her. “It's just until you get better.”

 

Jordan turned on her heel and started to follow Nat towards the elevator. “If I'm not driving, I'm the DJ. Prepare to hear some loud Fall out boy.” Jordan said to Nat, who just smiled and nodded in agreement, she was just happy she got her friend out of the house.

 

“This sucks.” Nat turned to look at Jordan. “It's so boring to try on clothes.” She mumbled more for herself.

They had picked up some clothes and now Jordan had to try them on, which she made Nat know she hated and it was a new type of hell, specially to try on new bras. It had ended up with Jordan trying six different models and liked two of them and had bought four in black, two white and two grey. She had also bought a lot of new panties and socks, and was glad that she didn't have to try them on. She did however need to try on the black and white sneakers that she'd got. She didn't feel like trying on more shoes and instead bought two pairs of the same model, one for everyday wear and one pair for when she worked out at the gym.

 

Now it was time for pants. It ended up with Jordan choosing two pair blue jeans and three pair black jeans as well as two pairs of dark sweatpants. Nat sighed but thought she'd try and style Jordan up a bit more at the next store, shirts.

 

“Here, it got blue and black and it's a modern shirt with the V open at the back.” Nat held it out to Jordan to see. She nodded and Nat put it in the cart she was carrying.

 

“What about this one?” Jordan asked and held out her chosen shirt.

It was a white shirt with lacing in the v neck. Nat nodded and showed a smile. Jordan put it in the cart and they continued to fill up the cart with modern, figure showing shirts. 

 

Also, they tried to let go of the green and black but some of those joined the cart if they weren't too boring looking. But some everyday teeshirts got added but that was more if Jordan wanted one to workout in or sleep in. They continued until they had found pretty much all the shirts that got Nat approved. Jordan payed with the Stark card and they got the bags and headed back home. 

Nat didn't say anything, but she offered that they could go home since Jordan looked very tired. Probably due to the choices and the people all around them that stressed her out a little. 

 

Back home Bucky greeted them friendly from where he was sitting in the couch group and asked how'd it go. Jordan laid down on the carpeted floor near him and let out a deep breath. Bucky smiled and poked her lightly with his socked clad foot. She ignored him as she had already closed her eyes. 

 

“Poor thing is exhausted. There were not that much people around but for her, it might have been a lot.” Nat said friendly to Bucky.

Bucky looked from Nat to Jordan where she laid on the floor.

“Do you think she fell asleep, here?” Bucky asked Nat in a low voice, as if she were, he wouldn't wake her.

 

Nat shrugged. “Dunno. I'm gonna go drop off her bags.” With that she left with the many bags.


	5. Bed

Jordan laid still again as Bucky tried to gently poke her. “Wow, you're really asleep, aren't you?” Bucky said more to himself as she got a throw blanket from the couch arm and gently put it on her so she wouldn't get cold. He looked warmly down to her.

“Sweet dreams, Jo.” He whispered gently to her.

 

He sat back in the couch, more accurately, he laid down more on the couch then sat. He wanted to make sure she finally would get some decent sleep, as he assumed she didn't sleep much otherwise, so he chilled on the couch and read some magazines that were always in a pile on the coffee table. When that got boring he put on his earphones and watched some tutorials on how to do with apps like snapchat and Instagram. He occasionally checked the time and now it showed that Jordan had slept almost three hours. He smiled a little at knowing she got the rest she desperately needed.

 

A while later Jordan began to stir in her sleep, but Bucky didn't notice her nightmare until she began shouting and screaming. He put away his phone and sat down on the floor next to her and tried talking to her, but she began throwing her arms around. 

 

“Jordan, I need to hold down your arms.” Bucky said to her, no response. He sighed and held down her arms enough that she wouldn't hit him. 

“Jordan, you're safe. You're in New York, the Avengers compound and you're having a bad dream. That's all it is, a bad dream. Come one, Jo. Wake up.” He talked gently to her.

 

She stopped shouting and instead she began crying right before she woke up. She got thrown up into sitting position, almost knocking her head in Bucky's. She looked confused to seeing him there but seemed to clam down as she laid back down to the floor. Bucky let go of her as she took some deep breaths, meantime Bucky reassured her that she was alright. 

 

“I fell asleep in the living room?” She asked after a whiles silence and dried her face. 

“Yep, right after you and Nat got back home from the shopping you laid down here and went to sleep.” He looked a little amused at her.

She huffed. “Yeah, I was exhausted. Shopping takes time and then there's all these choices and there were so much noice all the time.” Jordan said and yawned. 

 

“How long did I sleep?” She asked him.

“About three and a half hours.” Bucky said after checking the time on his phone.

 

He gave her a look like he wanted to ask her something. “Dude, just ask. I can read your face like a open book with that expression.”

 

“Do you often sleep on the floor, I know it's carpet but still.” He asked her friendly.

 

“Honestly?” She asked and he nodded in response. She sighed. “I think my bed's too soft.” 

 

Bucky raised a eyebrow to her. “I got so used to sleeping on somewhat not the most comfortable places. And now I sleep on the floor every night, but I do use the duvet and a pillow.”

 

Bucky smiled to her, she couldn't help but smile a little back.

 

“I think you should try and sleep in your bed. If you want to get used to it, why not use it?” He said friendly.

 

“I'll try, thanks Sarge.” She said and winked at him before she got up from the floor. He was faster and reached out a hand to help her up. 

 

She took his hand and got back up on her feet. She just wanted to hug him, there and then, so that's exactly what she did. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a bear hug. He seemed surprised at first but soon he hugged her back. Once she let go of him she sent him a awkward smile.

 

“Sorry, it's a after war-thing for me. I'm more of a hugger now then I was pre-war.” 

 

“It was a great hug.” Bucky said back, with a smile.

 

She felt how her body tried to turn to jello as the man freaking winked to her. “Do you wanna try my bed?” She didn't even think before she spoke and now as she heard the words she died a little inside.

 

Bucky laughed. “What?” He asked surprised and chuckled a little.

“I mean, since my bed is all new, it might be softer then like yours and Steve's. Can you just check that it's actually not too soft?” She decided to just stick with this ridiculous thing her mind had created without asking her.

 

“You want me to try you bed?” Bucky repeated in disbelieve.

“Yeah, just act like you're going to bed and then come back here and tell me I'm imagining it. And yes, I'll stay here so there won't be any 40's rules broken.” She said the last part with some humor in her voice.

 

Bucky shrugged and and a unreadable expression, but she guessed it was confusion and him trying not to laugh. 

 

“Sure, I'll be right back.” He said and left the room.

 

When he left Jordan let out a deep breath. ´Way to go, Jordan, just act all crazy towards the one guy you actually seem to like-like.´ She thought to herself.

 

She sat down on the couch and didn't have to wait long until Bucky came back and joined her on the couch.

 

“So do I have a bad bed?” Was her first question.

 

“Not bad. But you're right in mine and Steve's beds are probably more worn in since we've used them more then you've used yours. I think you should still try and get used to it.” He said friendly.

 

“But can't I take yours until I actually am used to sleeping in a bed?” She said innocently.

 

Bucky couldn't help a small laugh. “But where would I sleep?” He asked back.

“My bed.” She offered.

“What are you talking about?” Clint, who had silently gotten down from one of the air ducks asked.

 

They turned their attention to him. “I want to switch bed with him,” She pointed to Bucky. “But it doesn't sound like he want to sleep in my bed.”

 

“It just feels a little weird. Also, I got all my stuff in my room, am I supposed to run between the rooms everyday?” Bucky asked her.

 

“Hm, maybe pack a bag? That's easier and less trips.” Jordan said.

 

“Why not sleep in the same bed if you both want it so bad?” Clint asked innocently.

 

They looked from Clint back to each other. Jordan shrugged. 

“I've slept close to the men from my squad, so, sure.” Jordan said friendly.

 

“Eh, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean with the PTSD?” Bucky asked her a little awkwardly.

 

“You're a super soldier, if anyone can handle my nightmares it's you. And you don't get bruises easily.” Jordan said.

 

“I meant my PTSD.” Bucky said in a gentle tone.

“Oh.” Jordan looked a bit surprised. “How bad do you thrash in your sleep?” She asked him friendly.

 

“None, not really for six months now. But I don't know if it'll come back.” Bucky said honestly.

 

“Then it's a deal. Jordan, pack a bag, you're sharing bed with Barnes until you can handle your own bed.” Clint declared.

 

“Okay?” Jordan asked Bucky.

“Okay.” Bucky agreed.


	6. Chapter 6

Jordan packed a bag with pjs, underwear and clothes for a rather chill day at the compound. She also made sure to bring her toothbrush, toothpaste, a pillow and her own duvet. She knocked on his door. He opened it and let her in with a friendly greeting. She said hi to him and put her bag close to the bathroom door and her duvet and pillow on top of his bed. After getting ready for bed in the bathroom, she headed straight to the opposite side of the room, where his bed stood. 

 

She got up on the bed and put the duvet over her body and laid down and checked her phone. As she did, Bucky quickly got to the bathroom to change into pajamas and get ready for bed. Soon he was laying down on the bed.

“How about a pillow wall?” Jordan suggested. Bucky nodded in agreement and took some of his pillows to make the wall, now only having two pillows left. 

 

She closed down her phone and tried to fall asleep. After an hour of trying to fall asleep she turned to look at where she knew Bucky laid.

“I can't sleep.” She groaned, more like whined to him.

 

Bucky, having his back turned to her mumbled gently to her. “Just relax and close your eyes.” 

 

She felt a little guilty at hearing him so tired and that she had probably woken him up. But she did as he'd told her and did fall asleep half an hour later. As every time Jordan sleeps, she has her darkest nightmares. She started to thrash in her sleep and woke Bucky up when she started to shout in panic. 

 

Bucky tried to calm her down, but her arms where everywhere so he had to in order to try and calm her, he held down her arms so he wouldn't get hit. Then he spoke gently to her until she after a while started to calm down. She looked up at him, hovering his face above her, with big eyes as she tried to calm her hurried breaths.

 

“Fuck. Sorry about that.” She mumbled to him and put her hands over her face. Bucky had a moment before released her arms. 

 

“Nothing to apologies for.” He said friendly to her.

 

She dared to look back at him. “What's wrong with me?” She asked in a low, slight scared tone.

 

Bucky got a gentler expression. “I think you already knows that.” He said softly to her.

 

She sighed and looked at her duvet and held it tight in her hands as she spoke in a low voice. “I really got PTSD?” She didn't look up at him this time.

 

She heard Bucky let out a gentle breath and move to lay comfortably on the bed. She could feel that he was a bit closer now.

 

“I can't diagnose you with it, but it do seem like you've got it.” He said softly to her. “And I think you need to get some professional help with it, if you ever want to get better.”

 

She looked up at him, she just had to turn her head a little to her left to see him about fifteen centimeters from her. 

 

“Tell me what happened to you.” She said gently after a whiles silence.

 

Bucky bit down on his lower lip and shifted his focus from her to the pillow wall closest to his face. 

“I fell from a train and lost my arm.” He took a breath before he continued. “HYDRA found me and made me do stuff I never wanted to do.” He looked at her to see if she was still listening.

 

Jordan had big eyes and seemed to listen closely to every word he spoke. 

“Jo, I got brainwashed into doing these things and I remember all of them, all the victims.” He gave her a soft look as he continued. “My biggest problem is that I feel like all of it was my fault and that I deserve to feel awful for it.” He gave her a sad smile.

 

“But you were brainwashed! How the hell can anything some jerk did to you make you feel like that?” She looked truly disturbed by the thought of someone doing that to another person.

 

“And why do you seem to feel that you don't deserve to be alive for what happened to your squad? You couldn't even move and they were gonna take you alive.” Bucky said.

She drew a deep, shaky breath. 

 

“You know about that?” She asked in a small voice.

 

“Sam told me, he thought since you seemed to open up to me that it'd be good to keep me in the loop.” Bucky said gently.

 

“Okay, but I don't deserve to be here, to be alive. You don't know what I did for the squad and how far I had to take shit to get intel.” She was a bit upset now.

 

“Jordan, it was your orders and no one will hold it against you.” Bucky said in a comforting tone.

 

Jordan gave him a small smile and they talked for awhile until they both went back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

A week later.

Jordan had the day after her first night sharing a bed with Bucky gone to the medic bay and seen a therapist. She knew that earlier that same morning when she was freaking out just by choosing what to eat for breakfast. There had been a ton of options since everyone on the team liked different breakfasts foods. She had stood with the refrigerator doors wide open, starring at the options. According to Steve, she had stood there, hyperventilating for at least two minutes before they got her to sit down in a chair. 

 

She had tried to play it off like she was fine, but deep down she knew in that moment that she really did need help. So, when the team headed off to go do their workouts she sneaked down to the medic bay and got to meet with a therapist. After many questions and answers she got some prescription medication that would do something to help with her blood flow, meaning that she would feel more relaxed and be able to sleep better. 

 

She also got antidepressants and incase she'd have a really bad night she got some sleeping pills she could take. She had to take both medications in the morning and in the evening so she put a reminder on her phone so she would keep the same time everyday. She wasn't happy about needing the drugs, but the other alternative was to go crazy and she didn't want to put her uncle through that shit show to see her breaking down more and more everyday. Now, she had been on the medications for a week and it started to show a little with her actually getting some real sleep and being a bit more calmer. 

 

She had yet to start therapy. She mostly googled for support groups for women but never actually signed up. She wanted to but she felt like since she was so young that she'd deal with it herself. Now, a week on the medications she'd only had a few incidents, like panic attacks and flashbacks. But no more gun threatening stuff. Meantime she still shared the bed with Bucky as he would help calm her down when she got her nightmares. 

 

She hadn't tried the sleeping pills yet, that was for if the nightmares would get even darker.

 

“Jo, you should come with us.” She looked up from her phone where she'd scrolled through Instagram.

 

“Where ya going?” She asked Nat, who had walked up to her with Clint following.

“Need to get some groceries and I know you need some workout clothes, can't just use SHIELD's outfits.” Nat said friendly.

 

“Sure. I think I'm gonna try yoga pants, they seem to look comfortable yet sexy.” She said with a smile to her friends.

 

“Then let's go.” Clint said cheerfully.

 

The drive to the mall was filled with music and the three of them singing along. Jordan felt more happy then she'd been in a long time, but all good things have a end. The mall shopping was pretty quick and with only a small panic attack Jordan made it out rather well. The groceries were harder since there were a few people coming up to them and asking a billion questions to mostly Nat and Clint, but also to Jordan since they saw her arriving with them.

Jordan got tunnel vision and felt dizzy, but with her friends help she survived the grocery store too.

 

Back a the tower Clint and Nat were the ones due to cook, but Tony, Steve and Bucky were sitting already at the dining table, talking about something that mostly sounded like banter then a real topic. Jordan stood near the kitchen island when her phone loudly started to ring. She jumped up a bit and took her phone out of her pocket to check her phone. 

“Pill time.” It read on the reminder. 

 

“Pill time, what do you take?” Tony, who had sneaked up on her and read over her shoulder asked with a frown.

 

She quickly put her phone back in her back pocket of her jeans. “Nothing.” She said too fast.

“But it is something?” Tony asked, not buying her lie.

 

She said the first thing she could think of. “Birth control.” She said a bit too fast.

 

Tony frowned a bit more at this. “Since when did you need that?” He asked before he could think twice.

“Eh?” She asked more then stated.

 

“Really, “Eh”?” Tony asked with some dry humor in his voice.

 

“It's something else, isn't it?” He continued to ask.

She sighed. “Look, it's just something I need to take and it's no big deal, so drop it.” She said to him as she started to head to her room.

 

She got to her room and went to her bathroom where she had her medications. After taking the pills she went back to the dining room. Tony sat on one of the three bar chairs at the island and gestured for her to sit down next to him. She did.

 

“Kiddo, I don't know what's going on but if you don't talk to me I'll need to get Jarvis to tell me.” He said to her in a low voice so only she could hear. She shrugged and joined in on Nat and Clint's conversation instead. Tony sighed but let the subject drop.

After dinner as the group started loading the dishwasher Jordan got an idea.

 

“Guys, how about movie night? I know there's a lot of movies I've missed these past few years.” She said friendly to the team.

 

Everyone thought it was a great idea. “Any movie you're thinking off?” Clint asked her as he started the dishwasher.

 

She smirked and nodded. “I've heard that American Assassin is pretty awesome.”

 

“Jo, I really don't think that sound like a good movie given that you've just been back a bit more then two weeks.” Tony chimed in.

 

“It's a movie, actors, no killing. I think it would be fine.” Jordan said truthfully.

 

The team gave in and they headed to the “small”cinema Tony had made sure the team had at the floor right beneath the common floor, the rest of the level was pretty much all kinds of games ever invented. Nat and Clint made sure to get popcorn, snacks and something to drink. Once everyone where seated Tony pressed play. 

 

It was a great movie, just not something that Jordan should have watched, yet. She made sure to not let anyone know how bad she felt watching the movie. She got flashbacks and had to remember how to breath normally. Once the movie was over she played it cool and just said that it was a great movie before they all headed out, she went to Bucky's room and wasn't surprised when he a moment after she closed the room door entered and closed the door and crossed his arms.

 

“I know, I know! Fuck, I know what you're thinking and the answer is that I wasn't! I didn't think it would be that hard to hear gunshots!” She let the words fall out as Bucky slowly moved closer to her and sat down next to her on the bed.

 

“Have you signed up yet?” Bucky, after a moments silence asked.

 

She looked confused at him. “Signed up for what?”

 

“I've seen you google support groups for a week now. I think you should sign up and try it at least once.” He said gently to her.

 

“Yeah. I keep thinking it might help. But then I remember that I'm only 22 and all other veterans there will be older, have been through many years of war and shit. I just don't think they'll want me there babbling about my problems.” She took a deep breath.

 

“They'll probably just think that I should work on it on my own. That I... I don't belong there.” She said as she looked to the carpeted floor.

 

“Jo, look at me.”

 

She turned to look at him. He looked like he was about to give her a lesson.

 

“You shouldn't think about all the what if's. You need help, you get help. Hell, I know you started the medications a week ago. You just need a light shove in the right direction.” She gave him a small smile.

 

“So you think I should sign up?” Bucky nodded, making her smile a little again.

 

“Fine, but I'm not allowed to drive and this is in the middle of the city.” She said as she took up her laptop from “her” side of the bed, her laptop laying on the sidetable.

 

“I'll drive you, and I will embarrass the hell out of you if you don't get to the meeting.” 

 

“Yeah sure. You gonna drag me in, kicking and screaming?” She asked teasingly.

Bucky raised a brow. “Whatever it'll take, that I can promise you.” He smirked a little and she huffed.

She got up the site and signed up. 

 

“Okay, I signed up for tomorrow at three. Everyone should be busy enough to not miss us too much.”

 

“Sounds good.” Bucky agreed.


	8. Chapter 8

Jordan was dressed in black jeans, new black and white sneakers, light grey modern teeshirt that reached to her hips, to this she had added a olive green light jacket. She put her hair in a messy bun and throw her black cap of as well as her modern black sunglasses, using the hood from the jacket as a shield to get recognized as she walked towards where the meeting would be. Well, more like Bucky had to with his human hand placed at her lower back, keep her moving until they got into the building.

 

They walked in a hallway and saw the sign on a door a bit ahead of them. Jordan turned on her heel and tried to walk back to Bucky's car but got gently but firmly stopped by his strong arms. She turned back and slowly made her way towards the door. They saw a group of women sitting on chairs in a circle. 

 

Jordan immediately noticed that she was far the youngest there and turned again to head out of the building but walked straight into Bucky's muscly chest. He looked down at her and gave her a friendly yet a bit stern look.

 

“Come, you can do it.” He said so low only she could hear him.

 

She sighed, pulled her cap down a bit and fixed her sunglasses a little. Bucky, with a small nod made her turn to face the group.

The therapist, a middle aged woman gave them a friendly smile.

 

“You must be Jordan. Come on in and take a seat.” The therapist said friendly and with a big smile.

 

Jordan shot one last look at Bucky.

 

“I'll be close by and we'll met at the entrance when you're done.” Bucky said friendly to her. She nodded and turned back to the group and as she took as seat down one from the therapist she saw Bucky leave.

 

“Welcome, my name's Karen.” The therapist, Karen, said friendly and started telling them, well Jordan how they worked. 

 

“Jordan, how about you start by telling us why you wanted to come today?” Karen asked friendly.

 

Jordan took down the hood but kept the rest of her disguise on. “Um, well about a week ago I got diagnose with PTSD. I kind of knew a little while before that that I had it but I moved up getting check out. Other than that I'm good.” She said neutrally.

 

“Jordan, this is a safe place. You can tell us what you struggle with.” Karen said friendly.

 

“No, I think that's good enough for right now.” Jordan answered back friendly.

 

Karen moved on and as the others in the group shared their struggles, Jordan felt how she didn't fit in. first of: she was the youngest there and all the others had been in war zones longer than her. Lastly, she got some looks from two older women that was all other than friendly, telling her she should leave.

 

As they had gone a full circle, Karen turned back her focus to Jordan and asked if she'd like to share more.

 

“Want is a strong word.” Jordan said in a slight mutter, this seemed to get Karen's attention.”But fine.” She moved to sit more comfortably on her chair.

 

“I don't feel like I should be here, nay, I don't belong here.”

“And why do you think that?” Karen asked her friendly.

 

“Maybe 'cause I'm 22 and everyone's much older than me here. You're all veterans, but what the hell do you call a 22 year old who spent four years in special ops? I'm not a veteran....” She trailed off and took a deep breath.

 

“You have every right to be here just as the others. And by definition, you are a veteran.”Karen said gently to her.

 

“I sound so old.” That made the room fill with laughter and Jordan smiled a little.

 

“Anything else you might wanna share, Jordan?”

 

“Actually, I prefer to be called Jo. The squad I used to be in have kind of ruined my name a bit...” 

 

“Jo it is then.” Karen said with a smile.

 

They continued like that for a while, Jordan mostly listened to what the others said. They gave tips on how to deal with PTSD and to avoid gun movies for awhile. When two hours passed the clock they ended the session and Jordan headed out to meet Bucky at the entrance, he stood there and waited patiently for her.

 

He smiled a little when he saw her and they headed to the car. Once being seated in the car Bucky broke the silence.

 

“How'd it go?” He asked casually as he began driving.

 

“You know, listening to other people dealing with PTSD and stuff. Got some tips, and the first one on the list is: avoid trigger movies.” 

 

Bucky let out a small chuckle at the last part. “You gonna listen to them?” He asked curiously.

 

She shrugged. “I've learned a lot by doing and pressure myself to get better at something and now that they say that I should take it easy instead... it's gonna be a challenge to not watch all the movies with violence and guns to try and get over the anxiety, but I'll give it a shot.” 

“Sounds good. So are you gonna stay in the group?”

 

“For the time being, yes, I think so.” 

 

Bucky smiled and nodded approvingly.


	9. Chapter 9

They got back to the compound and headed to where they heard the happy voices. When they entered the kitchen and sitting area Bucky smiled big. Jordan didn't have time to think as someone familiar got into her eye shot.

 

“Jordan? Jo!” She saw Bruce smile big and walked up to him and gave him a big hug.

 

“I'm so glad you're alive!” Bruce exclaimed and let her go.

 

“Thanks.” She said in a fake hurt tone.

Bruce smiled to her. “You know what I mean. I'm glad your stubbornness didn't get you killed.” He said in a friendly tease. 

She smiled back to him. “I'm glad to see you too, Brucie.” He just smiled to her.

 

“Hey, I don't think we've been properly introduced.” A dark haired young woman said friendly to her and reached out her hand to shake Jordan's. Jordan took her hand and gave her a friendly smile.

 

“I'm Wanda Maximoff.” The young woman said friendly.

 

“Nice to meet you. I'm Jordan but call me Jo.” Jordan said friendly back and let the handshake go.

Wanda smiled to her. “You're Tony's niece, right?”

 

“Yep, but I'm a lot more awesome than he is.” She said with a small smirk.

 

“You can manipulate air, if I'm not mistaken.” Jordan turned her attention the red looking man.

 

“Yeah, but I'm a bit rusty at it, haven't really wanted to accidentally knock this place down.” She said with some humor in her voice.

“Jo, and who are you?” She reached out her hand to the man.

He took it firmly and shook it as he introduced himself. “I am Vision, nice to meet you, Jordan Stark.” He said friendly before he let the handshake go.

Jordan gave him a friendly smile. “Just call me Jo, everyone else does.” He nodded in agreement.

 

“JORDAN?!” Jordan and everyone turned around to find Thor heading to them, a huge smile and excitement in his eyes as he approached Jordan. 

Jordan hated whenever someone shouted her name and so she winced at the loudness coming from the god. He didn't seem to notice her struggle with not threatening him to shut up as he hugged her, lifted her up a bit in the air and hugged her closer to his body. Jordan could feel how her ribcage was close to bruising and hit him a bit on his shoulder as she felt how she started to get problem with breathing.

 

“Can't. Breath. Let. Me. Down.” She said through the small breaths she could still take.

Thor immediately looked guilty and let her down. Once on her own two feet she took some big and loud breaths. She heard some chuckling from the team but ignored them. 

 

“I'm sorry, Jordan. I'm just excited to see you again. It's been too long.” She couldn't help but smile to the god.

 

“It's fine, Thor. Just remember that I'm human, not a squishy toy.” She said with humor in her voice.

 

Thor smiled down to her and gave her another, more gentler hug. 

 

“Where have you been all these years?” He asked her once he'd let her go and they sat down on the chairs that was left as the entire team where sitting in the couch group.

 

She shot Tony a look, he shook his head and she looked back to Thor and smiled. 

 

“You know all the stories you told me about Asgard and what you liked to do for fun?” She said with excitement.

 

Thor lightened up a bit at this. “Yes, we'd have great battles. The glory of the victory of those are fond memories to me.” He said proudly and looked at her.

 

“Well, that is sort of what I've been doing. But I don't think it looked glorious, just a lot of sweat.” She said friendly to the god, ignoring the sigh coming from Tony.

Thor looked proud at hearing this. “You're a battle woman now, Jordan?” He beamed at her.

“Eh, the general always called me “annoying”, so I think that's more accurate.” She said and bit her lower lip.

 

Bucky and Steve each gave her the slight disapproving looks. “What did you do to annoy the general?” Steve asked her in a tired tone.

 

“I'm a Stark, we don't really do orders and it was a adjusting period... also I had to run around the entire camp so many times I lost count.” She said the last bit in a awkward tone as she didn't like to make Steve disappointed. 

 

Nat, Clint and Tony all let out a huff of laughter at hearing that. Making her turn to look at the spies.

“Hey, it's not like I tried to piss him off. I just asked if we really had to do some training that the entire squad knew we wouldn't even need. But at least I got some abs out of that hell of a workout routine.” 

 

“All training should be taught incase it would be needed in an emergency.” Bucky said gently to her.

 

“Well yeah... fuck. Now I feel kind of guilty I haven't even gone to the gym once since I've gotten here.” Jordan said more like in a thought.

 

“You can join us tomorrow.” Clint offered and nodded to him and Nat.

 

“Thanks, but I'm not gonna do my best if no one is shouting orders to me. I'll just end up doing three sit ups and then the rest of the time I'll have a break.” She said with humor in her voice.

 

Before anyone could say anything about her opinions of a personal trainer Jarvis informed her that she had a video call. She didn't even have time to say anything as Jarvis made a blue screen pop up, like those Tony had in his workshop, and now everywhere else it seemed like. On the blue screen she saw a older man, in his late fifties, dressed in a army uniform.

 

“Hello, miss Stark.” The man greeted her neutrally. 

 

She stood up and walked a bit closer to the screen. “General, what a coincidence. I was just talking with the team about you.” She said politely.

 

“Yes, the Avengers.” He gave a short nod to greet the team then turned his focus back to Jordan.

 

“Stark, I didn't call to make small talk.” He said in a stern neutral tone.

 

“You never do.” She said in a low sigh. “What is it?” She asked in a cold neutral tone, matching the general's.

 

“Since you're the last surviving from The Alphas, I want you to hold the eulogies. The funeral is in two days.” The General said in an order.

 

Jordan drew a shaky breath. She could feel the tense silence from the team but focused on the General.

 

“Sir, with all due respect- fuck no.” She heard how Steve made a small high-pitched sound and some lower sounds from the others.

 

The General looked disappointed with her. “Stark, it's not a question.” He said sternly.

 

Jordan crossed her arms and looked angry at him. “Sir, I just got back from- you know where.” Due to it being classified she could not relive the location to the team. 

“I can't even go a whole day without some shit due to my fucking PTSD will come and ruin everything. You really think as unstable as I am right now, I'm a good fit to stand where I can see my friends's coffins and tell people of them?” 

 

He didn't change his neutral expression as he spoke. “You're the best one to do it since you knew them.” He said sternly.

 

“Fine, but I will just keep to facts, no emotional crap.” She sighed.

“Good.” The General said and gave an approving nod.

 

“Jo, look at this.” She turned from the screen to check Nat's phone. 

As she read the short text she felt how her blood began to boil. With an angry look she turned her focus back to the screen.

“What happened to the B team?!” She demanded to know.

The General sighed but remained neutral. 

 

“We had to continue the mission.” He stated simply.

 

“Tell me the news got it wrong, tell me how many survivors!” She said in a angry tone.

 

“There was none, and we need to keep it going-”

 

She looked furious as she interrupted him. “You're sending in the C team? They can't even do a simple clear, headshot!”

“Stark!” The General was angry now. “I'm doing what I can in this situation.” He said sternly.

“But you can't let them go on a suicide mission. You've lost your two best teams on this mission!” She raised her voice to him.

 

The General gave her a knowing look and nodded to her. She took a step back from the screen. 

 

“I'll keep in touch.” He said and with that he ended the call. The screen disappeared. 

 

She took some deep breaths to calm herself. 

 

It was silent for a while but Steve, the ever righteous man he was just couldn't keep shut.

 

“Jo, you can't talk like that to, none the less, a General.” He said in a disappointed tone.

Jordan, with her back still to the team answered in a calm tone. “If you lose your two best teams, why risk the third one when you already know they don't stand a chance?”

Steve let out a deep breath but fell silent.


	10. Chapter 10

She spent that evening and night typing the eulogy on her laptop. She had a small desk and a comfortable office chair and right now she was happy that Tony had made sure she had those so she could get to work. It was hard to write as she had to think back to every member of The Alpha squadron. She had a box of tissues at her desk and had already filled up almost a third of her office trash can. 

 

She suddenly heard a small knock on her door. She dried her face from her tears and told whoever it was to come in. Bucky entered the room, gave her a gentle look.

 

“Just checking if you're going to bed.” He said friendly to her and closed the door after himself.

 

“Uh, I need to get this done and I still have to have something to say about the remaining five guys.” She put a stray hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. “We were in total eight members.”

She got a hurt look and took a small breath. “We got the mission because we were the best at handling it by those who were there-the secret location.” 

She looked down to the floor as she continued. “To send in The Coyotes, the C team as we, my squad called them. It's insane, those guys are all rookies and have almost zero experience with what we used to do.” She said in a sigh and turned her focus to her laptop.

“Jo, you still can't act like that to a General.” Bucky said softly to her.

 

“I know, I know. I just get angry that I'm not the one making the shots as I've been out there. I know what's going on and he just sits in his office, away from the danger. And from what happened to me, to the squad- I know how to get to those fuckers.” 

 

“Are you saying what I think you're saying?” Bucky asked and frowned a little.

She shrugged and looked up at him with a innocent look.

 

“I just think in this situation with that fucking evil as hell enemy, I know best what to do. I'm not saying I want to be a leader, just that someone who's in command should listen to my experience and try and fix this mess. Not to get more and more people killed.”

 

Bucky let out a small sigh. “...You saying you know who this in command person may be?” 

 

“I've got some options. I just need to find the right one.” She said in a determined tone.

“Well, I'll let you get back to typing and-whatever you're doing.” He said with a small smile.

 

She smiled back to him. “Oh, Bucky.” He turned back to her. “I'll probably be here all night, just so you know.” 

Bucky nodded and left the room, closing the door after him.

 

\----------------  
She just had two more to write about but now it was eight in the morning and she needed a break from her laptop. She saved the document and closed her laptop, got changed and dressed in black sports shorts with a small yellow ARMY written on the lower part of the left leg. She matched that with her black teeshirt with the big matching yellow text over the chest part. She brushed her long dark hair and let it be down this day. She put on some black low sitting socks and headed out to the kitchen to get some breakfast. She was half out the door when she remembered she needed to take her pills. She got to her bathroom and took one each of the two small plastic containers. She took them in hand and went to the kitchen.

 

The team was already sitting as the table. They said good morning to her and she greeted them friendly back. She went to the sink and got a glass from the overhead cupboard, filled it with water and put her glass on the kitchen island, right next to it she put the pills and went to make a sandwich. 

Bruce, who had gotten up from his seat to get some cereal noticed the pills and furrowed his brows a little. He made Jordan freeze up a little as he spoke, while getting his cereal.

 

“I assume those are not vitamins.” He gave her a knowing look as she had finished making her sandwich and turned to meet his eyes.

 

“Sort of...you know they keep everything going...on?” She looked busted and took her stuff and went to take a seat next to Clint on the edge.

 

Bruce followed her and took his seat that just happened to be right in front of her. She started with taking the pills and almost the entire glass of water. She then made a small awkward sound, not really a sigh but close.

“It's for PTSD, as well as antidepressants. Now, don't make a big deal out of it.” She said simply and began eating her breakfast.

 

Bruce gave her a soft look. She groaned and put down her sandwich. “No. no, bad Brucie. No puppy look just cause I need some “vitamins”.” 

 

Bruce just shook his head but didn't get to say anything as Thor loudly asked what exactly PTSD was. Jordan made a awkward smile as she saw how the team listened carefully to the conversation.

 

“You know when after, for example: war, there's common that people get flashbacks and um just basically freak out and stuff. Like for me, I almost shot Clint the first morning just because he shouted my name.” She shrugged and went back to her sandwich.

 

Before there could be any awkward silence Jordan smiled a cross the room. “Rhodes!” She cheered with a happy tone.

The team turned to see the man walk up to them, a fake disappointed look on his face. She got up from her seat to walk up to him.

 

“For you it's uncle Rhodey, miss.” He scolded her in fake dispassionateness, but couldn't help but break out a big smile as she closed in and gave him a bear hug. Over her shoulder he waived a greeting to the team, whom friendly greeted him from the table.

 

After the hug she stepped back half a step. “And before you say anything. I've heard it all: how everyone's surprised I'm still alive.” She said in a annoyed sigh but smiled at him.

 

He let out a small chuckle and shook his head a little. “Nah. Kiddo. I always knew the army couldn't get you down. You're too much of a Stark and, annoying to get rid off that easily.” He said in friendly tease. Yet it made her feel like her stomach was in a knot.

He ruffed her hair a little, she shot him a tired look and he smiled at her. 

“Glad to see that you're alright.” He said more in serious matter.

 

“Good to see you too, and ARE THOSE ROBOT LEGS?” She, with humor in her voice asked dramatically.

 

He rolled his eyes at her. “There was some slight issues....i fell form the sky and now I have robot pants over my normal pants.” He said a bit jokingly.

 

Her happy look was gone, instead she looked worried at him. “You. Fell. From the sky? How high?” She asked with concern.

 

Rhodey looked a little uncomfortable but decided to answer her. “I don't really know, but really high. But I'm fine.” He assured her.

 

She turned to look at Tony. “Did you know about this?”

“I tried to catch him but... hey, he's alright now.” Tony said the last part like that would help.

 

She turned back to her uncle. “You're gonna get yourself killed if you go parachute jumping without the freaking parachute! Where was your suit?” She sounded like a worried parent, making Tony and Rhodey have a hard time not laughing.

 

“I had the suit on but it...got shut down. And I'm the one who should worry about you, not you worry about me.”

“Why, cause you're older and my “uncle”?” She huffed as made the air quotes.

 

“Exactly why.” He said in a chuckle. 

 

“Not 'cause you've got a higher rank then me?” She asked daringly.

“Oh honey, no. I know you don't really care about ranks so that's pretty useless for me tro try and use against you.” He said with a big smile.

 

She smirked back to him. “Hehe, yeah I made Steve cringe last night 'cause how I talked with the General.” 

Rhodey just shook his head and let out a sigh. “What did you say?” He said in a fake annoyed tone.

 

“I said “fuck no” to me doing my squads eulogies.” She stated simply. 

 

Rhodey took a deep breath. “Jo. Just...no, you can't say “fuck no”. You can decline but not say that.”

“I did say “with all due respect” right before the “fuck no” part.” She said simply.

 

Rhodey shrugged and looked over to the Captain. “Sorry, but that's her being nice. I think she passes.” 

 

Steve rolled his eyes but let it go. Jordan smiled big. “Ha, I knew I'd pass.” She said cheerfully.

 

Rhodey turned his focus back to her. “Kid, you still gotta cool it a bit with the language.” He said friendly to her.

 

“Phfft. He made me run around the camp whenever he, the few time, visited. He said that I was annoying. But hey, I got quickly moved up to special ops anyway. I think it was that I'm pretty great at handling guns, since Tony learned me how to shoot when I was little.” 

 

“What?” was heard from Wanda and Steve, Bruce looked at Tony with a disappointing frown. 

 

“She was eight! And she had just lost her parents and I wasn't great at the whole parent thing so I let her do what she wanted. And that was to know more about guns and how they work. I educated her!” Tony hurried to save himself.

 

Jordan let out a small laugh, making the team look at her. “Guys, it's okay. I actually nagged him into letting me try shooting.” 

“Anyway,” She continued and turned to look at Rhodey. “I texted you since I think I might need your help with a project I'm working on.”

 

“The eulogies?” He asked with a raised brow. 

“My laptop's in my room, don't mid talking there?” He nodded in agreement and they went to her room.

 

She had a small arm chair at the opposite side of the room where she had her desk so she moved her laptop and office chair closer to the arm chair, where Rhodey sat down. In front of the arm chair where a small table where she put down her laptop. She showed the eulogies and got some points and made some changes and added stuff. 

 

Once that was done she opened a new document and turned the laptop so he could read. As he read on he got big eyes and gave her a look as to check that this was the right document. She nodded for him to read on. He sighed and looked back to her.

 

“Jo, it's insane.” He said in a gentle tone.

“It's not. I know how to-” 

“To what? Get killed in the crossfire?” He asked in a more sterner tone.

 

They began discussing and it got turned into an argument where both raised their voices. Rhodey shook his head and headed out of the room, with her following close after him. 

 

“I can't help you. I don't even know what the hell is going on over there!” Rhodey said loudly as he headed to the elevator.

“But I know! And if you just help me, they might-” They stood at the elevator now and Rhodey had turned around to face her. 

 

“No, I'm not risking that much when I don't have the full story!” He was angry now, more because he wanted to keep her safe.

“I told you, all I did is classified and even if it wasn't- I would never let anyone read my file.” She said sternly back to him.

 

With a ding the elevator arrived and Rhodey stepped in. the doors closed after him and she let out a loud groan.

 

She calmed herself down and went down to the running tracks where she knew Bucky and Steve where. She didn't have to wait long until they came into eyesight. They slowed down and each waived a greeting to her. 

 

“Guys, can we talk?” She shouted to them so when they came up to her they wouldn't run by. 

 

They slowed down and walked up to her. 

 

“What's up?” Bucky asked her with a smile. 

 

She was still pretty fed up with her argument with Rhodey so she didn't smile back, just went straight to the point.

 

“Look, I need help. I tried to ask Rhoey but he really doesn't want to do something with barely any info. And,” She looked at Steve. 

“I wouldn't be asking if I didn't think there was a chance this could work out.” 

 

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked. Bucky's respond was a small sigh and a non too happy look.

“The General want's to send in the C team and I know they will all get killed. They don't know what I found out and I want to help them to not fucking get killed. But, I need help since “I'm just a soldier” no rank means no one will listen to me. So, Cap, wanna give someone some orders?” She asked the last part more lighter and with a small smile.

 

Steve crossed his arms and took a deep breath. After a whiles silence he looked at her with a serious look.

 

“And where would you be, here or in the field?” He asked more in his Cap tone.

 

“I'm the one that got real life experience with these guys. I want to make sure the C team doesn't get killed. I want to be there. Well, want is a strong word. I nee to be there.” She crossed her arms and looked down a bit to the ground for a moment the back to Steve.

 

“Last time, they wanted me alive. If they find out I'm there again, we could lure them out and set a trap for them.” 

“You mean using you as bait?” Bucky asked.

 

“I mean winning a almost impossible war with some wannabe HYDRA fans!” She said sternly to him, making him go quiet.

 

“What, these guys are HYDRA?” Steve asked in disbelieve.

 

“No, they call themselves “The Gods”. Fuck, that's classified- oh to the hell with it- they kidnap mutants and make them do their dirty work. I want to end it and I'm the only mutant there is that's allowed in the squad.” 

 

“And you need my help to get your General to agree to this plan?” Steve asked and uncrossed his arms.

 

“Yes. Also, we kind of will need a leader. No way I'm letting the C team's commander to lead this one.” Jo said in a huff.

 

“Then how about you do it? You're the one with the intel?” Steve suggested.

 

She stared at him, mouth agape. “Did you forget that I've got pretty sever PTSD and can't even watch a freaking movie with gun sounds?” 

 

Bucky just listened to them silently.

 

Steve gave her a stern look. “I think id it's life or death that you'll let your training kick in and take over the PTSD. I think you can do it, but that won't help if you don't.” 

 

She took a deep breath. “But I- I'm the rookie! I can't call the shots if I'll risk getting people killed!” She said nervously. 

 

“So was I one point in time, Bucky too.” Steve said friendly.

 

“But you're super soldiers. I'm just... a air bending mutant who just happened to like guns.” She said in a sigh.

 

“Also, I'd have to get back into hardcore training and actually be able to stand gunshots without freaking out.”

 

The men looked at each other then back at her and smiled friendly. “We'll help you with that.” Bucky said friendly.

 

She looked with disbelieve at them and then only to Steve. “Wh-are you saying yes to this possible suicide mission?” She asked in a chocked voice.

 

“I know I want to keep you safe. One reason being that Tony would kill me if I let anything happen to you. But, you're an adult now and you have a really good reason to get back in the game. So, yes I'll help you get this started. But you need to be the captain for the C squad.” He said the last part more gently.

 

“Oh, if we're doing this we can't let them know we call them C squad, their real squad name is The Coyotes.” She said with a smile.

The men agreed to it and she let them go grab each a shower before they actually started planning.


	11. Chapter 11

It would be a hell to tell Tony she wanted to go back to the army, but as Steve said, she had a good reason. Yet, she still felt a sharp stab of guilt as they went on planning the first part. How to tell the General.

 

She must have made a sound due to the guilt making itself known as physical pain in her stomach because the men shot concerned looks to her.

“Jo, you alright?” Bucky asked her gently.

“Ye-yeah, just” She took a sharp intake of air before she continued. “Just hate how Tony will likely react to this and due to fucked up brain it takes from as physical pain.” She said and moved a bit to sit more comfortably on the office chair.They where planning in the briefing room.

 

“I know, but he'll understand why you want to so this.” Bucky said gently to her.

 

“We can take a break if you want?” Steve offered her.

 

“No, just keep going. I'm fine.” She said and took a breath then went back to planning with them.

 

First on the list: shooting, should be easy, huh?” Bucky said friendly as he and Jordan headed to the shooting range. 

 

Once there they put on the safety glasses and ear covers to protect form the loud noice. Bucky went first and fired three shots at the target. He put the safety back on and put down the gun and turned to look at Jordan. Jordan stood frozen in her spot, a neutral expression on her face. Bucky took of his safety gear then removed hers. 

 

“You okay there?” He asked with concern.

She gave him a small nod. “Yes. I just focused on breathing and well, no flashbacks yet so that's good.” 

 

He smiled to her then it was her time to shoot. They got the safety gear back on. Bucky, not needing to teach her how to do with the gun, chose to go over it with her then let her put apart the gun and put it back in one pice before she started to shoot. She took a deep breath and took the correct stance and gently squeezed the trigger, firing her first shot since she got back home from the army. 

 

She followed that by firing three more, right in the center where the first one had went. She put the safety back on, put down the gun and removed her safety gear and turned to face Bucky. 

 

“I felt... actually pretty good. Like I finally after being told I've got PTSD I finally feel like I'm in control of something.” She ended with showing a small smile, that grew bigger when Bucky smiled to her.

 

“That's great!” He exclaimed and gave her a hug. She let out a small laugh and hugged him back. He let her go after a few seconds.

 

She immediately missed the hug but smiled at him. “Still, need to do this more often to see that it's all safe again.” 

 

He nodded in agreement and they spent some more time shooting the paper targets.  
\------  
That night she really wanted to get some sleep as the next day the funeral would be and she wanted to be rested. She went to her bathroom and took a sleeping pill after getting her other medications. She then headed to Bucky's room and climbed onto the bed. She laid down, he was already in bed with his front towards her. Still with the pillow wall as the perfect gentleman he is.

“I took the sleeping pill.” She said, breaking the comfortable silence.

 

“The funeral's tomorrow, I would have done it too if those worked for me.” Bucky said softly to her.

 

She started to feel sleepy and let out a yawn. “You know you can stop with the wall, right?” She said friendly and closed her eyes.

 

Soon she felt him shifting in the bed and noticed that the pillows were gone. She smiled into the dark room.

“Good night, Bucky.”

“Good night, Jo.” He said softly back.

 

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning she laid turned towards Bucky. She had moved so she laid very close to his face and without knowing what she was doing she kissed Bucky while being half asleep, half awake. The kiss was short but sweet and she noticed that as short as it was, Bucky did kiss her back. 

 

When she realized what she had done she said awkwardly that she had to go pee and rushed to the bathroom, more to get away from him and calm down then the emergency toilet break. She got done in the bathroom and as she had made a habit of taking her meds in the kitchen she took the pills from the plastic jars and headed out to the kitchen. She had only underwear on and to cover it up she had put on a dark grey silk bathrobe. She ignored the looks she got from half the team and focused on g´taking her meds and getting some breakfast.

 

Then it got time to get ready for the funeral. She got dressed in her own room, in the appropriate uniform for army funerals. Since this one was for her squad, she had to wear the formfitting, classic uniform used for ceremonies. That meant with insignia, that was of a A for The Alpha's, and some small badges she had been give during her last time in the army. She got some low heeled shoes and did her makeup discretely and let her hair fall down her shoulders in their natural, yet controlled few waives they had near the ends.

 

She took the paper with the eulogies and folded it so in half then went to the kitchen to get some water. 

 

“You look good.” She turned to see Nat giving her a approving look. 

 

She drank some of her water then placed the glass in the dishwasher then turned back to Nat. She started to fiddle a little with the paper. 

“Thanks.” She said in a low tone.

 

Nat gave her a encouraging nod. “You're gonna do great.” She said friendly.

 

Jordan gave her friend a small smile then said bye and got into the elevator, where Steve waited.

 

She arrived to the funeral with Steve, but for their plan to work he would wait in the car. He said some encouraging things to her before she had to go into the church.

 

She held the eulogies and everything went smooth. After the funeral she went to Steve's car and waited for him to get there. In the meantime, Steve were asking the General if they could schedule a meeting. After a short while he came back to the car and they headed back to the compound.

 

“I can't wait to get out of these clothes.” Jordan groaned a bit as they stepped out of the elevator to the common floor.

 

Steve shot her a questioning look. “Why don't you like them?” He asked her friendly.

 

“Because it's really not my style and I love pants.” She said and shot a quick look at her skirt.

Steve smiled friendly to her and she hurried to get to her room and change. Once she was changed she went to the couch group dressed in blue jeans and a light grey long sleeved teeshirt with a rather deep v neckline. She had rolled the sleeves up to her elbows and sat down on the closest couch's arm.

 

“I see you've find a style more fitting for you.” Steve said with humor in his voice from where he sat on the same couch.

 

She nodded and as Wanda and Bruce joined them in the couch group they talked for hours.  
\-------------  
She spent the rest of the day training with Steve and Bucky. Jordan, however made sure to not be alone with Bucky as she felt awkward from what had happened the same morning. After the shooting practice and the hardcore workout she was breathing loud and fast, almost gasping after air.

 

She had her hands on her knees as she stood bent down to breath. “That. Was much. Worse. Than the. Training I'm used to.” She looked up a bit to the men. 

 

Bucky shrugged and smiled friendly to her. “It's not that hard.” 

 

She glared at him and stood up straight. “Maybe for a freaking super soldier that's just warm up. For a normal human being, it's a hell.” 

 

“But you're not normal, you're a mutant.” Steve said friendly. 

 

She sighed. “Fine, I'll go with your plan but I don't have to like it.” That seemed to be enough for the men as they nodded in agreement to her.


	13. Back at it again

A week passed, and yes, she still shared a bed with Bucky. They could wake up cuddling each other and sometimes there were a few quick, sweet good morning kisses but it stayed there.

 

For their plan they were told to get to the base the very next day. Jordan had dreaded this moment as she headed to Tony and Pepper's floor. It was time to tell them she was going back to the army. She took a deep breath and entered their floor. Both greeted her friendly from where they sat in the living area on a big white couch. She walked up to them and stopped when there was a safe distance from them. 

 

“What's up Jo?” Tony asked her friendly.

 

“I'll just cut to the chase. I'm leaving first thing tomorrow morning to the base.” She said neutrally.

 

The couple looked confused at her. She continued. “My squad all died in a mission and I know how to get at least a fair shot at finishing what I started with The Alphas. I'm going back to the army for this mission, then I'll be back home.” She said a bit rushed.

 

As she'd thought Tony made it into a fight and there were raised voices for a good while. Until Pepper somehow got them both to calm down and Tony, reluctantly said that she could go if it was what she really wanted. She nodded hurriedly to him. 

 

The rest of the time they spent talking and just enjoying each others company until it was time for dinner. They ended up eating just them. The team dinners was recommended but this was the last night they'd get to hangout with Jordan for a while now.  
\-----  
The next morning she, Steve and Bucky left to get to the army base, which of course is in a secret location. They got greeted by the General and a soldier that after a few words with the General he informed them he would show them to their rooms. They said bye to the General and followed the soldier to one of the big buildings. They would be on the second floor and with a slight awkward smile the soldier that showed them to their rooms informed them that two would have to share a room. 

 

“Barnes and I can share.” Jordan said with a small shrug. Bucky gave a small nod like he wouldn't mind it.

Steve gave her a slight confused look. Jordan in seeing his look sighed pretty loudly and gave him a “don't say it” look. 

 

“It's no problem for me. I'm used to sleeping with guys.” Jordan said innocently.

 

Steve pressed his lips together as to not laugh, Bucky smirked at her and the soldier just stood there awkwardly silent. 

 

“I mean I'm used to sleep CLOSE to guys, had to sometimes during missions with the squad.” She hurried to correct herself. 

 

The super soldiers smiled friendly to her and it ended up with her sharing a room with Bucky and Steve had how own a bit down the hallway. They got the keys to their rooms and went to drop off their bags. Jordan found The Coyotes training schedule on her bed, the far to the left, Bucky's on the opposite side. 

 

She dropped of her cap and green camouflaged jacket and hanged them on one of the hooks by the door. Already dressed in her work uniform she made sure her boots were tide properly then began to head out the door but Bucky's voice made her turn her head to him.

 

“Where are you going? I thought you'd show us around the place.” Bucky said friendly from where he was starting to unpack his suitcase.

 

“I'm going to train with the C team, someone needs to make sure they're not slacking off.” She said with a smirk and said bye to him before she hurried to the filed where the squad would be doing some workout routines. She found them doing jumping jacks, their Sergeant leading it but they stopped when she came up to them.

 

“Come on boys, don't stop the show just cause you got a audience.” She said friendly, some humor in her voice and gave them a friendly smile. 

Their Sergeant greeted her and introduced himself as Sergeant Thompson. She shook his hand in a firm grip. 

 

“Jordan Stark, here to get your team ready for the mission.” She introduced herself.

That made the squad get big eyes and looked her up and down but remained quiet. She ignored them and focused on Sergeant Thompson.

“I'd like to join in on the training to see how all are doing.” She said friendly. 

The Sergeant friendly let her join in and they began the workout routine again, starting with finishing the jumping jacks then some push ups, sit-ups and some other practices where they just used their bodies. To end the workout they took a lap at the running track. 

 

All sweaty she said bye to the squad and headed back to where she would live for the next coming months. About half way there she met the super soldiers.

“Wow, you look-” Bucky said.

“-Hell sexy? Why, thank you Sergeant.” Jordan joked back. 

Bucky smiled to her. “No, you look like you need to take a shower, so get a move on so you can finally show us around this place.” He said in a joke-ish order.

 

“Sir, yes sir.” She said with a smirk and did the classic salute to him before she swiftly turned on her heel to go to their room. She heard the men laugh a little and that made her smile grow a bit.


	14. Chapter 14

The following weeks was mostly spent by planning their first strike of the mission and a lot of training to be in the best shape possible. For Jordan and Bucky much hadn't happened. There had been a few good morning kisses before she headed out to early training but that was all. 

 

The training meant that Jordan had to spend about half the day with The Coyotes and their whispers behind her back. They weren't exactly discreet with their looks and when they talked about her. But she focused on the training and after she'd added a few more extra practices to their workout routine she made sure to not go closer than that was what they didn't like about her. 

 

She couldn't do her best if she worried what they thought of her on a deeper level than that and until now it had been fine. But, Gabe, a loud and a annoying and classic example of how much of a failure The Coyotes used to be had taken it on himself to not that discreetly make a very rude assumption that she had planned to get her former squad killed. 

 

Filled with rage she got up from her push ups and walked over to where the Sergeant where, right in front of the group. 

 

“Hey, eyes on me!” She said in a order. The squad looked up at her and did as she said, the Sergeant gave her a curious look but let her be.

 

“If you guys got a problem with me, then say it to my face.” She said in a stern order but was met with silence.

 

“You know what,” She ran a hand over her face and shook her head a little as she took a breath. “I'll happily go home to New York and leave you to take care of the mission, you can go without a 100% ready plan and with no one to lure them out with. You just go on. But then you're good as dead already!” 

 

The squad looked a little down at the last part. “Without my experience and me out there with you, you are useless. You will just get shot down, just like the B team was. Now, stop being such butt hurt idiots and get over whatever you have against me if you want to have a fair shot at winning this shit!” She said in a pretty loud and very stern order. 

 

The squad straighten up themselves where they stood and gave her each a nod to show they agreed with her. She relaxed a bit as she got an idea. 

“Now, to finish up your workout... if you're going to be on my team, you need to know how big this base is. Run a lap around the base, now. Move it!” She ordered them and gave each a stern look if they tried to whine. 

 

She got them all to start and walked off to grab a shower but was met with both Bucky and Steve looking pretty happy from where they sat at the nearest bench she calmed herself as she walked up to them.

“And you said you didn't want to give orders.” Bucky said a bit teasingly.

 

She immediately felt a bit awkward for them having to see her yell orders like that. “Um. Well, I guess it's easier when it's to some idiots. The Coyotes can really hit every single nerve I've got, sometimes.” She sighed the last part.

“That's all part of being captain.” Steve said friendly to her.

 

She could feel her stomach tie itself into a knot as he said “captain”. She never really saw herself as a leader, not even now that she got a mission in planning she felt like a leader.

 

“Eh, I don't know. Leaders needs a lot of patience and I've got zero of that. Now, I really need a shower.” She hurried the last part out and made a move to leave.

“You do know they moved shooting practice to tonight? The C team needs to know how to shoot in the dark. It was your idea...” Bucky reminded her friendly, yet a little bit teasingly.

 

“Oh right, thanks. Guess I'll see you later then.” She said and headed to their room.

 

After a shower and fresh, yet army clothes on she put her hair in a tight bun and headed to the big building where the General had his office since she had a meeting with him to update him on The Coyotes progress. Once she was done with the meeting, two hours it had taken. She ran into Rhodey in the hallway. She got big eyes as she saw him.

 

“Rhodey? What are you doing here?” She asked, both puzzled but happy to see him again.

 

He gave her a smile and a quick hug. “Jo, good to see you. Your General got me sped up with what's going down and I thought I could help you with some back up.” He said friendly.

 

“Are you sure that's all?” She asked, not believe that Tony didn't set this up so she'd be stuck with a babysitter.

“Oh, Jo, of course that's why I'm here. I want to help you.” He said, to her it sounded a bit too friendly.

 

She made some small talk with him then it was time for a break and some food before she had to see the failed night shooting practice. The Coyotes was the worst squad they had available for this mission as no one in their right mind wanted to take on a suicide mission. 

 

After a long night of teaching The Coyotes to hit the target in the dark she hurried back to her and Bucky's room, ready to get some sleep. When she entered she saw that the room was only lit by a few candles. She closed the door gently behind her and hanged up her jacket on her hook, next to Bucky's. She got of her boots and smiled to Bucky where he sat in a chair at the small table. She sat down and her smile grew bigger when she saw the take out food.

 

“Take out pasta is the best pasta.” She said happily.

 

“Yeah, I thought since you've been so busy all the time and it was a while since I actually cooked pasta dishes, I thought why not go on the more safe option: take out food.” He said and smiled to her.

 

“It's great.” She said a bit cheerfully as they both began to eat.

They ate and talked and when the food was gone they sat there at the table and just talked about everything and nothing. They made some jokes and after the laughs they were suddenly very close to each other and without a moments hesitation, they shared a sweet, yet passionate kiss. They gently broke apart and there was a moment of silence, then it became awkward silence that was when Jordan awkwardly scratched her neck.

 

“...And this is why I don't do dates.” Jordan said a bit shyly. “I'm too awkward for-”

 

Bucky gently took her left hand in his hand, making her go quiet. He gave her a soft look as he spoke.

 

“Jo, you can just enjoy the moment.” He said softly to her.

She dared to meet his eyes and was met with those blue, soft eyes. She relaxed a little in her seat. He slowly closed into her and waited half a moment when he was a inch close to her lips to let her take the initiative. She slowly closed in and they met in a gentle kiss that slowly took form of a little bit more passionate kiss. This time when they broke apart she was smiling and not showing that much shyness, making him smile more.

“I'm sorry about-well me.” She said with a small laugh. “I'm so awkward and this, whatever it is, maybe we shouldn't go further since... well you already know what's coming.” She made a slight pained/ awkward expression to him. 

Bucky gave her understanding look. “I understand...” He did sound a little sad about it but gave her a reassuring smile. 

 

She wanted to tell him “screw what I just said and kiss me already.” But, she and him both knew this was not what she needed right now with the mission getting closer for everyday. They made small talk for a while then she called it a night and took a quick shower before she went to bed. Bucky had gently ordered her not to take care of the dishes and when he was done with them he sat down in the small couch at the small living area at the far end of the room where he, with headphones, watched a movie.


	15. Certified badass

The day before Jordan and The Coyotes would leave for Ukraine she got into a argument with the General and Rhodey about how much backup he would send. She felt as since it was her squad that first got the mission and they got killed, she wanted to keep it as close to the signed squads, also it would probably blow their cover if air forces would aper and the enemy would go into even deeper hiding.

 

One more factor was the fact that Rhodey talked to her like she was a small child and that made her even angrier. Luckily for the men, Bucky just happened to walk past the General's office and hear the argument, more like it was Jordan's loud voice he heard. He knocked on the door but when there was no reply he gently opened it and more dragged then led Jordan out of the room. He gave them a apologetic smile and closed the door as he left, still dragging Jordan with him.

 

He didn't stop until they where far down a corridor where he hope the General wouldn't hear Jordan's shouts. He pressed her up agains't the hard wall. Locking her in between his arms as he gave her a stern look.

 

“Jordan, shut up.” He said sternly, making her go quiet since he never used that tone with her. “You know you can't yell at the General like that!” He said in a disappointed tone.

“He let's Rhodey treat me like I'm a baby!” She said in a hurt tone.

 

“Rhodey just wants to help you.” Bucky said sternly.

 

“He's spying for Tony and he's taking over the mission!” She said with more anger now.

 

“No he isn't! And if you show them that you can do this, be a leader, they will start listen to you more. You just needs to keep it together more.” Bucky said more encouraging now.

 

She let out a deep breath and there was a moment of likable silence until the next moment came and Jordan realized he still held her pressed against the wall and had her trapped in his muscly arms and how close she was to his face. She could just reach out a few inches and she could kiss- she mentally shook that picture of of her head and seemed to sober up from being so close to him.

 

“You can...” She nodded to him and he let her go from his arms. They stood for half a second there awkwardly before she turned and walked away. 

 

\---------------------  
She met him back in their room a little while later. She had taken a long walk and now that she was back in the room, seeing him chilling on the couch she felt how her heart began to beat fast. Just like it had that first real kiss they had shared after the dinner. She just didn't think about it at the time as she was so in the moment back then. But now she was painfully aware how much her heart was freaking out as she walked up to him and gently tapped his human arm a little. He looked up at her, removed his headphones, closed his laptop and put it and the headphones on the small coffee table. 

 

He looked back up to her again and she swallowed hard before she broke the silence.

 

“I..I think we need to talk. Or not really we, more like I. Just listen, okay?” She rambled to him but he gave her a patient look as she went on.

 

“I'm leaving tomorrow and I know you and Steve will come in about two weeks. But over there... things get real real and I just... I don't think you should get your hopes on on someone who might screw something up and not come back. So just- just.” She drew a deep breath.

 

“I hate thinking of everyone it'll affect if I die, but that's what I do and I can't hurt you too. I really don't want that, 'cause I like you too much for that. So go bowling or whatever you want to do instead.” She said the last part with a small smile.

 

Bucky slowly got up from his chair and took half a step so he stood close to her. 

 

“Hey, listen to me.” He said gently and gently placed his hans on the sides of her arms. “You'll be doing great. Both me and Steve thinks you've really got the leader part down. Just don't doubt yourself so much.” He said it so gently that it almost made her tear up.

 

“Goddammit man, stop being so perfect when I just said no to date you.” She said in a small voice and got his arms wrapped around her in a gentle hug. She hugged him back.

 

“Trust me, I'm far from perfect. But I do know that this mission means a lot to you and that you'll do everything you can do make it right.” He said friendly to her.  
\------------------  
Being in a war zone and having PTSD was not the easiest. Sometimes the gunshots made her turn her head to make sure The Coyotes were still alright, which they thankfully was. She tired her best to take her meds the same time everyday, but sometimes there would be a few hours difference, but she never felt anything off from it, it was just not recommended to do as one could forget to take their meds. She did however feel a bit better since this time she knew more what to do to win and it felt good to be in control instead of laying on the ground, paralyzed, like last time. 

They had gotten a few members from “The Gods” and had work hard on getting as much intel as they could. However, to get the intel she used her air powers to somehow make them feel like their head was filled with air, in a very painful way. She wasn't proud of it but it worked, they didn't have to get blood everywhere and the enemy still talked.

 

She had just finished up getting the last intel she needed and headed to the main tent of their base and as she cheerfully announced that they had all info to go to the next step she went silent when she saw Bucky and Steve turn around to face her. She quickly to herself together and walked up to them with a friendly smile on her face. 

 

“Ah, you finally decided to drip by?” She said a little teasingly since the men were two weeks late.

 

“Yeah well you told us not to waste more time then needed here, so we thought you'd have it all handled by now.” Steve joked back.

 

“It's good to see you guys.” She said with a smile and gave them each a hug.

“Now we need to get on to the next step: trap them.” She said and they began discuss how to best trap the bad guys.  
\-------------------  
Out in the filed finally doing the second last part of their plan Jordan stood alone (as the bad guys would see it) and just walking like she was on a walk on the lonely road where her former squad had bleed to death. That's when “The Gods” showed up. There was a lot of fire going off from all the guns but after hard work Jordan, The Coyotes and the super soldiers took them down. They had surrounded them and taken them out. 

 

“Great work, guys! Now we need to get into their base and save the mutants. Be careful though, there'll probably be more bad guys there.” Jordan ordered in her ear piece. 

 

They got into the base and took out the rest of the enemy with just one mishap.she gave out orders and then headed down into the base with Gabe, that somehow a moment later walked right up to a bad guy face to face ad Jordan had to drag him around the corner, the guy just missed shooting Gabe in the ass. Jordan quickly shot the bad guy down. She gave her teammate a tired look but headed on. 

 

When they got to the prison cell Jordan shouted to the ear piece for more people to get down there as there where at least twenty prisoners. 

“There's too many for just us to take back, we need back up.” Sergeant Thompson said as he counted the prisoners.

 

Jordan nodded and got her on mission “walkie-talkie” out from it's holder on her cargo pants and called backup.

 

“Need back up at my location right now, there's at least twenty prisoners and some need medical attention right away!” She ordered. She was soon told that the air force had already left the base and would be with them any moment now. 

 

They began helping the mutants out of the prison and soon was greeted by Iron Patriot, (Jordan still called him War Machine as that of course sounded so much cooler) followed by a few small planes landing near them.

 

“Told you back up was a good idea.” Rhodey said friendly to her, now without the mask.

 

“More help, less chat. Now move your lazy robot ass.” She ordered him friendly.

 

They got the mutants onboard the plane and then headed back to the camp base. The mutants were taken to the civilization and to the nearest, best hospital since they had been all from tortured to starved or just looked very sick. When Jordan, who wanted to make sure the enemy really was defeated and had left the enemy's base last showed up at their own base she found the squad smiling, and just being happy with how the mission went. When they saw her they all cheered a little.

 

“Guys, come on. Give yourselves some cred. Gabe only ALMOST got shot in the ass! Now that's progress!” She said in friendly tease, making the men chuckle a little. She smiled at the group.

 

“Really guys, you did a fantastic work out there. We got those sons of bitches. We fucking did it!” She said and the squad cheered.

 

“You made The Alphas and The Blast squads's proud, and me as well.” She said truthfully.

 

“You really think so?” Jones asked her friendly.

She smirked to him. “Yeah, and I won't say it twice.” She said with humor in her voice, making him smile and nod.  
\-------------------  
When all had calmed down and the squad where starting to take the camp down as they would leave in a few days. Jordan sat on the ground a bit from the camp, just enjoying the soft wind in her face. She thought of how, right as they got the last mutants onto a plane that Steve said that since she didn't need them there more that they'd see her back in New York in a few days. She had just agreed as she was still chocked that they had actually won the fight. It was now that she had a moment of peace that she realized that she missed Bucky's company. 

 

She let out a small sigh. At least she just had to drop by the big base to inform the General face to face then she could head out to New York. But now she had to go help the squad take down the camp.  
\----------

“...and that's all.” She finished telling the General of how the mission went, she had also wrote a file for it and handed it in as well.

 

He gave her a approving look. “You did good, Stark.” He said and gave her a small smile. That made her look with big eyes at him.

 

“Sir, no disrespect, but you can smile!” She exclaimed, making him give her a fake disappointed look.

“Go on, you've got a annoying uncle to get home to. He's been on my case about you since you got here.” The General lightly grumbled.

 

“Did you tell him anything?” She wondered a bit worriedly.

“No, just that you're fine and the mission was a success. Now, please go to see him.” She smiled and said bye to the General.

 

She got her things from the room she had shared with Bucky. She took a moment to look at it before she smiled and headed out to catch the first plane to New York. 

 

Still dressed in army work uniform she once again entered the common floor. She met the team in the kitchen, with Pepper and Tony at the front. They hugged her before they even greeted her.

 

“Guys, you're acting like I was in some war or something, calm down.” She joked, making Pepper give her a disapproving look.

 

Once they let her go Tony dried some tears that had escaped. Up next she hugged the rest of the team and then there was only Steve and Bucky left. She smiled to them.

 

“I really don't know what to say except: thank you for helping me and more importantly: letting me go on this insane dangerous mission. I would probably have said no to me if I was you, so thanks guys.” She hugged Steve first.

“You should keep it up, being a leader seems to fit you.” Steve said with a big smile when he let her go.

 

“Yeah, maybe coming for you job.” She huffed in a friendly tease, making him smile more.

 

Then it was Bucky. “I'm so happy I didn't get you killed.” She said in such concerned tone it mad Bucky and some of the team members chuckle a little. 

 

“Yeah, me too. Although it was a risk when Steve let a amateur take over the lead.” He said in a friendly tease and smirked to her. She couldn't help her smile and playfully hit his human arm then gave him a hug.

 

“Still not completely a amateur.” She said when she let him go and stepped back a step. “I got into Special ops because I'm awesome and a certified badass.” She smirked up to him.

 

“Really, where's the certificate then?” Bucky asked with a raised brow.

 

From her normal size backpack she took out a file and from it she showed him a paper. He looked from the paper to her and back to the paper.

 

“You didn't...” He said.

She got the paper from him and showed the team. “Oh I so did.” She said proudly.

 

In her hands were a certificate that stated that she indeed was a certified badass, and it was signed by her General. The team first laughed loudly at it but then agreed that it was a awesome idea.


	16. Drinks

Late evening the same day she finally got a moment alone with Bucky. He offered to help her unpack her suitcase. They had been small talking for most of the time but now that the bag was empty and back in the big closet and seeing him sitting on the edge of her bed she knew she just had to rip the band aid off. She sat down next to him on her big bed.

 

“I like you.” She just blurted it out, making him turn his head to look at her. “I know what I said and really, I don't do dating because I've always been too awkward to actually tell anyone I like them.” She paused and looked to him.

 

“Wow, I knew you could be awkward. But you've never had a relationship before?” Bucky asked in disbelieve. 

 

She shook her head. “No, either the awkwardness or they stopped talking with me because they didn't like the team or my uncle. Then I joined the army and I didn't really think about dating. I just wanted to make a good job and get in a great squad- which I did.” She smiled a little at the memory.

 

“So, if you really do like me and you're willing to be with someone who has a love for guns, action, yet has PTSD and can do weird spontaneous things sometimes. Then, kiss me.” She said the last part in a friendly order.

 

Bucky didn't waste a moment and kissed her passionately. He even put a hand to cup her face to bring her closer to him. She smiled into the kiss, which resulted in a break from kissing as she couldn't stop smiling. 

 

“Wow, you're a great kisser.” She said like she was surprised.

 

“You're not too bad yourself. I thought you didn't have any practice?” He asked, a small frown appeared.

 

She gently pulled him closer to her by a small hold of his dark tee shirt and gave him a quick kiss.

 

“I said I didn't do dating or relationships... I never said I didn't have any practice.” She said with a smirk to him and gave him another quick kiss before he moved back a little to look at her.

 

“You mean you...” He trailed off but gave her a nod that showed he probably knew.

 

She let out a small sigh and let go of his shirt. “Look, when I turned 18 I really just wanted to have fun, so I got on tinder and well.... there were some drunk hookups... not really proud of that but thankfully no one has gone out with it to the media. Also, Tony would kill me if he knew it.” She said and frowned.

 

“Cause you were drunk?” Bucky asked her friendly.

“Well that part too, yeah, but he always made sure that since I was a kid, that random hookups would get me grounded for life and if I tell him now he'll make sure I'm grounded as hell.”

 

“But why?”

“Because he doesn't want me to be like him, you know he used to be a “playboy” and then he got stuck with me and he wanted me to be better than that... which I mean it was just a few times...and I'm rambling now.” She said awkwardly and looked down to her lap.

 

He gently lifted up her chin with a finger, making her look at him as he gave her a soft look.

“Jo, you shouldn't let old experiences define you.” He said gently to her and closed in to give her a sweet kiss, making her smile again.  
\--------------------------------------

After war and PTSD and war again, still with her PTSD, she had some bad nights. But as she felt more confident now that she had led a squad, she didn't have any anxiety like she did from the first war. She had now only her anxiety meds that she took, not needing the rest of the meds and gotten the medic bay to sign them off her list. The anxiety meds were still on it since it was thanks to them she actually got better and felt more and more like herself again, the young woman before war zone after war zone that always had a smile on her face.

 

She, now a week after she got home had just come back to the compound from a meeting with her General she had earlier that day. She was headed to her room but as she stepped into the living area, the one with the white big couches and no tv she found a red dressed guy dancing to some music. 

 

The red dressed one suddenly turns to her and waived her over. ” You wanna go, you wanna go? LETS GO” The red dressed guy said like he dared her to something. 

 

Jordan walked up a bit closer to him, still having a safe distance and suddenly sees the red dressed guy turn it into a dance off. Jordan just stands there, a raised brow and when he finished dancing and stands in front of her hands raised like he just won and dropped the bomb.

 

Without moving a facial muscle, she gets out her gun, safety off and cocks it. The guy swallows hard. Jordan smirks, still holding the gun. “I'm a soldier, not a breakdancer, kid.” She said cockily. 

 

She only held the gun towards him for a moment then gave him a friendly smile and safety:ed up her gun and put it back in it's holder when Wanda and Nat hurries into the room.

 

“Jordan, don't shoot! He's our newest recut.” Wanda hurries to announce.

 

Jordan raised a brow but but away her gun as she gave the guy dressed in red a questioning look.

 

“Haven't you heard of me, Spider-Man?” The guy nervously and with some fear in his voice asks her.

 

She shrugged. “Been in the army for four years and haven't really caught up on everything that's been going down here.” She said simply.

 

“Hey, I see you finally met Peter.” Steve entered the room and said cheerfully and gave her a small patch to her right shoulder.

 

“She almost shot me!” Peter exclaimed and pulled off his mask, showing a young boy with dark short hair and a scared expression on his face.

 

Steve gave Jordan a disappointing look but looked back to the kid. 

“I'm sure it wasn't her intention, but maybe take it easy on her, huh?” He said friendly and smiled a assuring smile.

 

Jordan shrugged a little and looked at Steve. 

“No one's hurt, can I go now?” She asked in a low usual careful tone.

 

Steve gave her a small puzzled look. “Jo, come on. It would be good for you to get to know him, so you stop holding him at gun point.” 

 

“Okay.” She agreed simply, making the group look a little surprised at her willingness. 

 

“Oh- that's great.” Steve said friendly, at first surprised.

 

She shook her shoulders a little and let out a deep sigh and looked down to the floor. Only looking up when Steve a second later asked if she was alright.

 

“Guess I most still be processing the meeting I had earlier today...” She said in a small shrugg.

 

“Aha, and who did you meet?” Nat asked her with a slight raised brow.

“My General,” She said in a small voice. 

 

Steve, sensing her nervousness, gave her a gentle hug and as he embraced her he felt how she relaxed a bit.

 

“He wants to make me Captain.” She said so only Steve could hear her.

 

“What? That's fantastic!” He exclaimed in excitement and moved so he could see her face.

 

He smiled big to her and gave her a tight hug. “This is great!” He said and let go of her a moment later when she told him she couldn't breath.

 

She took a deep breath to not pass out from the tight hug and gave the man a narrowed look.

 

“No, it's not great because as you might remember: I don't do ranks!” She said sternly and with that said she left the room and locked herself into her own room.

 

An hour later she was calmed down by some music and finally realized that it wasn't the end for her. So she left her room and joined the team in the big living room, the one without a tv. Without a word she threw herself down between Bucky and Steve, resting her back against Bucky's side. She shot a look to Peter who sat in a armchair across form her, fiddling with his right suit arm, probably a bit nervouse to be around someone who just an hour ago held him at gunpoint.

 

Feeling like she needed to clean the air between them, that and the fact that Steve not so subtly elbowed her to apologize to the boy. 

 

“Look, Spider-Kid. Sorry about the gunpoint. But you can't just dare me, a soldier, to a dance off.” She gave him a “that's ridiculous” look. 

 

She ignored the look from Steve that she knew were to tell her that she was terrible at apologize. Peter, thankfully gave her a small smile.

 

“Oh, eh it's Spider-Man and I just thought you being the one here closes to my age actually knew the song.” He continued but his expression changed to a sorry one. “But I completely forgot that you're a soldier and with PTSD and all that.” 

 

“Yeah, I don't dance. Like at all. But any other activity and I will kick your ass.” She said and smirked a little daringly to him.

 

That made Peter smile big. “Football?” He asked, making her huff cockily.

 

“Kid, you gonna make it a challenge or what?” She said with confidents.

 

“I know one thing,” He said a smirked back. “Catching bullets.” He said daringly.

 

That made her frown a little. “I don't really feel like getting you shot, nor getting shot myself. “

 

“Oh, I'll catch them. But you'll get shot.” 

 

“Sure, me firing a gun towards a 16 year old seems like a great idea.” She said sarcastically.

 

“He's got spider senses and can actually catch them.” Tony informed her, making her raise a brow.

 

“Any other weird shit that's been going down here when I was gone?” She asked the team like that was all that happened.

 

“We stopped a alien army a few years ago.” Clint answered.

 

“Yeah, that was my brother, Loki.” Thor said with a small smile, making Jordan frown a little.

 

“Oh, we took down this huge, very evil purple alien a year ago. He was a real challenge, almost got Cap killed.” Peter rambled out.

 

“He WHAT?!” Jordan asked him in disbelieve.

 

“Yeah, it took a few months for him to recover, but he was almost flat as a pancake.” Peter answered right before he left, he got a text from his aunt that he needed to come home for dinner.

 

“That's not necessary Peter, and no I wasn't even clos-” Steve began to defend himself but got interrupted by Jordan smacking his right cheek, hard. 

It was silent from the rest of the team as they watched the scene play out. Jordan, turned to look at the man, looked like she was gonna smack him again and when Steve opened his mouth to say something she shot him a daring look, making him close it again.

 

“You got seriously hurt, almost fucking killed!” She said in anger yet it was mostly hurt in her tone.

 

“Jo.” He said gently to her.

 

“Don't “Jo” me. You're the one that got squished into a fucking pancake, and you worried about me even just being alive when I first got back. Why the hell didn't you tell me?” She just looked hurt now at him.

 

He took a long breath before he gave her a patient look.

“Like the first thing you told me when you got back was that you had sever PTSD?” He asked her gently.

 

She froze up a bit at that, not ever thinking he would use it against her. But the moment was short as she shrugged and gave him a neutral look.

 

“You wouldn't have let me go back out in the field, yet alone being the one calling the shots if you thought my PTSD would ever be a problem, so don't you ever dare using it against me.” She said the last part a bit sterner then the rest.

 

Steve gave her a nod. “You're right, sorry. I went too far there. But you know getting a bit squished comes with the job.” He said gently to her.

 

She shrugged. “And I had to avoid getting blown up, and I'll still have to. Will that be a problem for you?” 

 

“Wait what? You're going back?” Bucky interrupted them to ask.

 

“Dunno.” Jordan said as Steve said “Yes.” 

 

Bucky looked puzzled at them. She sighed and elbowed Steve to break the news. 

 

“I really think you shoul-” He began but got a harder shove to his ribs from her elbow and looked back at the team.

 

“Jordan can, if she accepts, become a Captain.” He said simply, but smiled a little to her.

 

A few “that's great” and “good job” was heard from the team but Tony looked like he had eaten a whole lemon.

 

“So does this mean you'll leave again?” He asked her friendly but she could read his face that he wasn't necessary happy about it. 

“First of: you all know I don't do ranks, but if if said yes... then yeah I think I would have to go away sometimes.” She said to him.

 

“And... you want that?” He asked her friendly.

 

“Don't know. I mean I get that my work paid off but also I've shot down other rank offers and seen it go to someone who fucked stuff up and almost ruined missions.” She answered honestly.

 

“Then why not take it?” He surprised her with saying. “And then you can come back and you and Capsicel can have a ping pong game about who's the number one Cap.” He said with a smirk.

 

“No super strength then.” She said in a friendly order to Steve, who smiled back to her and agreed to her terms.

 

“So you'll take it?” Wanda asked her friendly.

 

“Looks like it.” Jordan said and showed a small smile when Tony told them he wanted to celebrate it with a party. 

 

“No party, but fuuuck, I do miss drinking.” Jordan said and got a small frown of disaproval from her uncle.

 

“Fine, what do you feel like doing then?” He asked her friendly.

 

“Hm, I think why not just some drinking games. I've never really seen any of you guys, except Tony, drunk.” She said friendly.


	17. awkward

The drinking games were on. Jordan had already, twenty minutes into the games found out that Steve liked to draw, that Clint hung out a lot in the air ducks and that Thor could, if allowed: marry pop tarts. She had laughed a little at that but asked what happened to Jane, his girlfriend.

 

The God smiled a little at that question. “Oh, I'm flying solo and it's great.” He said in honest happiness.

 

“What, weren't you two like the perfect couple? Why did it end?” Jordan asked a bit sadden by the news.

 

“There were a lot going on, but mostly it was because it was what was best for both of us.” He answered friendly.

 

She sighed in disappointment and took drank some from her drink. 

 

“Great, I need to find another couple to have as some sort of “relationships can work out” Ugh. And it doesn't help that Brangelina broke up.” She said disappointed. 

 

“Hey, you've got Pepper and I. Also, Bruce and Nat. So how many couples do you need to have enough inspiration?” Tony asked her friendly.

 

“First off: Pepper took a break from you a few years ago, I know because I actually read that sad letter you sent me. And second: Bruce and Nat?! When the hell did that happen?” She looked at the couple, who smiled at her.

 

“Just did, and it's not really official yet.” Bruce answered.

 

“Way to go, Brucie, she's awesome.” Jordan said with a big smile.

 

“So why is it so important for you to know that other people can have long, successful relationships?” Bucky asked her, making her choke a little at her drink.

 

Once she's swallowed her drink and stopped coughing she faced him.

 

“Just you know, to make sure it's something that would work out with the job and media and all that stuff.” She said a little bit awkwardly.

 

“But you sai-” Bucky seemed to change his mind as he re started the sentence. “And nothing can change your mind?” He asked her friendly.

 

“Oh my God, we already know you two are like a thing. So stop tip toeing around it.”Wanda said friendly, making Jordan, Bucky and everyone except Nat and Clint freeze.

 

“You- wait, no. We're not together.” Jordan said awkwardly as Bucky gave her a raised brow.

 

“I mean, I- fuck, I don't know.” She said in a sigh.

“Calm down. I feel your energies and it's pretty clear something's going on.” She got agreeing nods from the spies.

“Jo?” Bucky asked her friendly and she bit down on her lower lip.

 

“Guys, really it's okay if you're together.” Tony surprised her with saying.

 

“Really? You don't have a “these ones are not allowed to date my niece” list?” Bucky asked in disbelieve.

 

Tony shook his head, making him relax back into the couch as Jordan chuckled a little at him. He shot her a questioning look.

 

“It's just, you're a soldier, a Sergeant and you get scared what Tony would do if he didn't accept you dating me.” She couldn't help but laugh a little. 

“And he's not the one you should be scared off, I can be so much scarier than he can.” She said with a smile.

He rolled his eyes to her. “What can I say, I'm old school.” He said with a smile back to her.

 

“Hm, yeah. How's your back doing after missions. You know it comes with the age.” She joked back.

 

Bucky looked back to Tony. “Am I free to leave or do I have to listen to more old jokes” He asked in such a dramatic way the team couldn't help but laugh at him.

 

“Sorry, but when she likes something she usually finds a way to keep it. Like that cat when she was little. It was sick and would die any day, but damn the kid was not letting me get rid of it.”

 

“Mr Fluffy! He was so cuddly and he wasn't that sick, he had his meds.” Jordan argued.

 

“Then how come he died within a week?” Tony said. 

 

“He was old.” She answered him.

 

Tony raised a brow at that. “Looks like you've got a type.” He said teasingly.

 

Jordan, a bit drunk and not thinking before she spoke said something she would a moment later regret. 

 

“Not all true, all the one night stands were about my age.” She said.

 

Bucky, knowing she never wanted to let Tony know this tried to avoid the situation with asking Tony what he worked on at the moment in his workshop, but the man ignored him.

 

“One night stands?” Tony asked in disbelieve.

 

“Oh don't worry, it was only drunk hook ups so I don't remember much.” She said and after a drink from her glass she realized what she had said. 

“Oh fuck.” She said slowly.

“Oh fuck is right, now when did this all happen?” Tony asked in a disapproving dad tone.

“Right when I turned 18, right before the army happened.” She answered honestly.

“You got drunk multiple times when you were only 18?!” Tony asked her like he hoped she would deny it.

 

“Wow, calm down it was only about three or four times. Not like I got wasted all the time or something.” 

 

“Ugh, I thought I told you not to do stuff like these.” Tony said and looked to her, then to Bucky and back to her.

 

“Is that how this happened?” He asked the couple with a slight raised brow.

 

“No, hell, we haven't even slept together.” She hurried to defend herself.

 

Tony shook his head like he wanted to forget this conversation ever happened. 

“Gees, I don't want to know what you do or don't do, just keep it clean in the common areas.” Tony said and silently thanked Nat for saving the situation with a new topic: funny mishaps during missions.


	18. Shower action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sex!

The team had said goodnight as it was getting late. Bucky and Jordan said goodnight and she got into her room. Not even a minute later there was a knock on her door, once she opened it she was greeted by Bucky kissing her so she almost lost her breath. He closed and locked the door after himself and got her up so she had her legs wrapped around his mid body. 

 

She kissed him like her life depended on it. He, almost equally hungry, kissed her back and he laid the down on her big, soft bed. She rolled over so she was on top of him, kissing like a couple of teenagers. She made them sit up a little as she tugged a bit at his dark blue tee shirt. Bucky obeyed and quickly got out of the shirt and threw it to land at the floor, next to the bed, followed by her own shirt, and both their pants.

Bucky pulled up the cover and once they laid down covered by the cover they began kissing again and she let her fingers gently trail up and down his abs, making him moan a little just by her light touch. After feeling each other up for a while Bucky pulled away a little to look at her face.

 

“Do you have any protection?” He asked in a husky voice, that only turned her on more then she already was.

 

“Uh, I've got a implant. But in the right drawer I've got some condoms.” She said and gestured a little to the right side bedside table.

 

Bucky moved and got a condom from the drawer. “How long have you had these?” He asked with a small frown.

 

“I got them a few days ago. Since well, I... look I knew I wanted to be, and sleep with you. Stop talking and put on the condom already.” She said and gave him a kiss.

 

He smiled into the kiss and quickly got the condom on. It didn't take long until their underwear was gone and she was riding him, since they found out that the missionary was a bit of a slight turn off due to the height difference and this way she was a bit more in control, since Bucky was to say the least, a bit over the average size. 

 

She riding him made both of them moan loudly, making her thankful that she got Jarvis to turn of the soundproofing right when she had entered her room. She had felt the vibes from Bucky and had guessed that he would come by right after pretending to go to his room to not freak out her uncle. 

 

“Oh, Jo...” Bucky let out in a moan and she took it he was close. She wasn't nearly as close as he was but still moaned out his name in pleasure. 

Soon he pretty loudly moaned out her name and soon finished and she after a moment moved to lay down, wrapped up in his arms as they tried to catch their breaths. Bucky shot her a look she couldn't quiet read.

“Did you... I mean, it seemed like you didn't-” He began but she finished his sentence. 

“Come? No, I didn't. The majority of women can't come with just penetration.” She informed him.

 

Bucky moved so he laid so he could see her face from a little above her. “Then what can I do, since I really want to finish the job.” He said in determination.

 

“I've got a vibrator in the other drawer, but I'm not ruing some innocent 40's guy with having to use that.” She said.

 

Bucky just shook his head and got the vibrator from the other bedside table and covered them up with the cover. “Really, you don't have to.” She offered him a way out.

 

“What kind of man leaves his girl hanging?” He said a bit teasingly and went to work with the toy.

 

It took a while as he at first had no idea what to do but with her guiding him a little he soon, with the toy's help had her shaking in pleasure in a few minutes. He smiled a victory smile at hearing her moan out his name as she came. 

 

“Wow. That was ten out of ten.” Jordan said with heavy breaths as she tired to stay coved by her cover. Bucky had so only from the waist down was covered. 

He turned off the vibrator and put it aside to cuddle up with her, but his arm got gently shoved away.

 

He sent her a questioning look. “Need to pee or I'll get a UTI and those sucks.” At hearing this he nodded to show he understood. 

 

“Can you um, like put a pillow over your eyes?” She asked as she began to sit up, desperately trying to stay covered by the cover.

 

“Sure, but I already saw you naked so is it really necessary?” He asked innocently.

She turned to face him. “I just don't really feel comfortable with you getting a full show just because I need to go pee.” She said friendly to him.

 

He just nodded, smiled and put a pillow over his face. She smiled and hurried to go use her toilet. After she finished using the toilet she felt really tempted to take a shower but felt like she should probably see if Bucky wanted to join her. She took a towel and opened the bathroom door and saw that he still had the pillow over his face.

“I'm gonna take a shower,” She stated. Bucky just hummed a okay.

 

She walked up to him and gently removed the pillow from his face. She smirked as she continued. “And I thought you'd like to join me.” With that she turned her back to him and as she closed in to the bathroom she removed her towel and hung it up at it's hook and got into the shower, hearing him catch up with her.

 

The warm water felt nice against her skin, but what felt even nicer was Bucky's hands at her waist, pulling her back close to his front. She loved the way his skin felt against hers and turned to face him. She smirked a little as she let a hand gently move from his left leg slowly and teasingly towards his groin. He gently moved his hands to her lower back and pressed her gently closer to himself as he kissed her passionately, making her moan a little. He moaned back into the kiss as he felt her began to stroke him.

 

The shower sex turned out to get a bit, or rather a lot more rough then the sex they had just had in her bed. Bucky had her up against the wall, her legs around his waist as he thrusted hard into her. She moaned loudly and arched her back a bit when he moved so only his metal arm held up her, freeing his right hand to pleasure her. She felt how she probably would get at least one big bruise on her back due to the hard thrusting but she was enjoying it too much to complain and make him shift into a different position when they were both close to coming. 

 

“Oh Sarge.” She moaned out as she came.

 

He smirked at her and a moment later when he come he decided to tease her back. “Oh, Captain.” He moaned out, making her raise a brow to him.

 

He let her gently down back to the shower floor and they began cleaning themselves up.

“You think you're so funny, huh?” She asked him teasingly as she shampooed her hair.

 

“You started with moaning “Sarge”.” He friendly shot back and smirked at her as he cleaned himself.

“Come here.” She ordered him friendly and gave him a kiss.

“Oh, Captain, you're a great kisser.” He teased.

She smiled and shook her head to him and turned her back towards him as she had to get the shampoo out of her hair.  
\-------------------------------  
After the shower they dried off and she got dressed in pj's, shirt and shorts. Bucky, not really planning he would need fresh clothes got back in his day old boxers. Jordan had told him he could sleep naked but being a gentleman as he always, well not always, meant he wanted to cover up at least his dick. 

 

“Fine, do whatever you want but now a surprise blowjob to wake you up tomorrow is off the table.” She stated as she got into bed.

 

“Really?” Bucky asked, and had just stepped into the boxers so they were up to his knees but now he removed them and threw them into his small cloth pile on the floor not too far from the bed. 

 

She raised a eyebrow at seeing a naked Bucky jump into bed and laying down on the pillows to her right. He smiled to her and gestured to her to lay on his metal arm. She put a pillow between her and the arm as it wasn't the most comfortable thing to sleep on and cuddled up against him. He embraced her and stroke her side in slow motions, making her relax if possible even more then she already was.  
She let out a content sigh and smiled a little towards him. 

 

“Jo,” He said gently in a low voice. “I know you might want to run away when I tell you this, but I love you.” 

 

She got big eyes and hung her jaw a little. “Yo- you love me? But I'm seriously messed up. And you sure it's not because I'm great in bed?” She asked a bit ramblingly.

 

He gave her a soft smile and gently shook his head a bit.

 

“No. I love you and I will always be here for you. I know you tend to avoid relationships, but I'd like to prove to you how great this can be.” 

 

“Wow. Great kisser, advisor, and great in bed. What can't you do?” She asked with a smile.

 

Bucky's smile turned into a more serious expression as he answered her. "Jo, in the shower. I completely to use a condom. I'm so sorr-"

 

"Dude, calm down. As I told you earlier: I've got an implant to protect from any baby mishap to happen." She assured him, making him relax back into the pillows.

 

He smiled and gave her a kiss. She let out another content sigh. “Bucky, I really want to give this a fair chance.” She said with a smile and was met with a passionate kiss from him.

 

They cuddled for a while, but after their activities they were getting tired and soon fell asleep close to each other.


	19. The morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, but writers block can be a bitch sometimes. i will try to update somewhat regularly, thanks for reading my story :)

The next morning Tony surprises her with a guitar at breakfast. 

“Wow, it's so sexy.” She exclaims and let her eyes run over the smooth, black guitar. 

 

“It's just like your old one, only newer and I might have last night added so you can easily use Jarvis speakers wireless... in case you feel like playing.” He said with excitement.

 

She took the guitar and played some chords to try it out. She looked back to her uncle and Pepper who both looked like they were her number one fan and couldn't wait any longer to hear her play.

 

“Go on, play something.” Pepper offered gently and took a seat at the kitchen island next to Jordan.

“Oh, um, I only remember one song that I can actually play right now without having to practice all over again.” Jordan said and looked down at the guitar.

 

“Then play it, I promise you I will personally make anyone who thinks it sounds terrible's life miserable.” Nat assured, making Jordan smile a little. 

 

Jordan looked down to make sure she did the right chords and began playing slow and softly and soon began singing softly, still focused only on the chords.

 

“Wise men say, only fools rush in”

Here she felt more comfortable with the guitar and closed her eyes to actually get the courage to perform in front of the team.

“But I can't help  
Falling in love with you  
shall I stay?   
Would it be a sin  
If I can't help falling in love with you.”

“Like a river flows surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes  
Some things are meant to be  
Take my hand, take my whole life too  
For I can't help falling in love with you”

She finished the song, not wanting to go through the entire and was met when she opened her eyes again with some applause from mostly Pepper and Tony, but also from the team. Bucky smiled big at seeing his girlfriend had a hidden talent.

 

“Wow, I completely forgot that you used to play the guitar like all the time when you were younger.” Bruce said with a smile.

 

“What can't you do?” Bucky asked with a smirk.

 

“Yeah, uh, for you who are new: I played the guitar when I was a kid up to I turned 18. This song is like the only one I completely remembered the chords and lyrics to, but man was I awesome a few years ago. I could play almost anything.” She said with a genuine smile as she laid down the guitar carefully on the island.

 

She turned to face Pepper and gave her a hug. “Thank you!” She said cheerfully.

 

“Remember to actually play on it and I expect to hear some songs every month, deal?” Jordan nodded eagerly, making Pepper smile.

“Thought it would be good for you to have something that's actually technically something from home with your PTSD having it's good and- non good days.” Tony said friendly to her.

 

“Ugh, I don't have “non good days” just neutral or like this, THE BEST FREAKING DAY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” She said with excitement.

Bucky shot her a raised eyebrow at this but still smiled at her excitement. She immediately felt a little guilty.

 

“Oh, sorry Bucky, you telling me you love me is a close second after my new guitar.” She hurried to assure him.

 

“Thanks.” He said in a fake hurt expression. She just rolled her eyes to him and went back to play around with her guitar.

 

“Man, you just got run over by a guitar.” Clint said to Bucky, in a non helping way.

 

“Nah, it's something that makes her happy and that makes me happy.” He simply stated, earning a big smile from Steve, Wanda and Nat.

 

“You two are now officially together?” Thor asked loudly, making Jordan stop playing on the guitar and look up.

 

“Eh? Buck, take this one, I'mma go.” She said and left Bucky to deal with the God himself.

 

He rolled his eyes a little at her act and sighed. “Thor, you can't just ask stuff like that.” He told the God.

 

“Why not?” Thor asked innocently.

 

“Because Jordan has serious commitment issues and if she feels like she gets cornered with questions she'll end it and probably move to another country or something.” Bucky told him.

 

Thor looked like he had made a huge mistake. “Oh, but I will fix it. Don't worry Bucky.” He said and got up from his seat and headed towards where Jordan's room was.

 

“No! Fuck, Thor don't.” Bucky said but it was too late, the God was still headed towards her room, leaving Bucky to hurry after him.

 

He found Thor knocking on Jordan's door and telling her that love was a beautiful thing and she should still be with Bucky, since she loved him.

 

“Fuck me.” Bucky said in a low sigh.

 

“Thor!” He said in a higher tone, making the God turn to face him. “Go back to the table, now.” He ordered him as he lead him back to the table.

 

“But Jo loves you, she just have to-” 

 

“She hasn't said it!” Bucky hissed to Thor.

Thor gave him a surprised look. “But...” 

 

“She hasn't said it. And if you or the others get on her case about our relationship, she probably never will.” He said.

 

Thor sat down in his seat, next to Wanda and Vision and Bucky sat down next to Bruce and Steve, signing. 

“She really has commitment issues?” Tony, who were now seated in a bar stool at the island, Pepper had left a while ago. 

 

Bucky nodded to him, making Tony let out a tired breath.

 

“That's just fucking fantastic. I thought- no I hoped to fucking every thing she wouldn't remembered all that shit. But obviously, she does or everything would be great now.” He muttered more to himself.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky asked him and looked up to the man.

 

Tony shook his head a bit. “No, if she didn't tell you I can't...” 

 

“Tony, he would need to know at least some pointers if he wants to get her to talk about it.” Nat said friendly.

 

Tony let out a frustrated sigh but nodded. 

 

“Look, her parents were not the best. Far from it actually. They made it basically look like all human interaction one needed was like minimal, only like grocery runs and stuff like that.” Tony sighed.

 

“That's why she loves acoustic guitars and music. Because that meant something more than just quick greeting in a store. Also a lot of other fucked up shit I can't get into cause I'll probably break something.” Tony said and took a deep breath to calm down.

 

“What the hell kind of people were they?” Bucky asked concerned and with some anger.

“For starters: horrible, awful, neglecting and just over all stupid fucking idiots and that's just off the top of my head.” Clint answered him.

 

“Wait, you all know what happened?” Bucky asked the team.

 

The original team nodded. “Vision, Wanda, Sam and well you, it didn't seem necessary to tell you. It just opens up some deep emotional wound for her, Pepper and well me as well since it was my idiotic sister that- you know what just talk to Jo and see how much she's comfortable sharing with you.” Tony said and left, probably to go to his workshop.

 

Bucky took a breath as he shot Steve a look, not getting any hints from his friend that he´d talk Bucky excused himself rom the table and headed to his room to mentally prepared how he would talk to Jordan about all this new info.  
\------------------------------------------------------

Bucky tried for a week to get her to talk to him about her parents but she always told him she didn't really have a relationship with them and that she didn't like talking about them. It was frustrating for him but he knew he shouldn't push her so he let it be for now as they sat down in the couch to watch a movie. Jordan cuddled up next to him and he let his human arm wrap around her shoulders.

“Fuck me...” He heard her say in a sigh.

 

He looked down to her. “That can be arranged but maybe we should take it in the bedroom?” 

 

She looked up at him and gave him a eye roll. “Not that. I just remembered I have this thing tomorrow...”

 

“What thing?” He asked curiously.

She hung a little low with her head as she answered him. “I'm being named Captain tomorrow.” She mumbled at him.

Bucky gently made her look up at him. “Before you say it: there won't be a party and no Avengers will be invited to the ceremony.” She said before he could say anything.

 

“But that's not fair. It's technically thanks to me and Steve that you got the mission and now this rank.” He said in a friendly joke.

 

She hung a little with her lower lip. “Fiiiiine... you and Steve-o can come. But no one else!” She threatened him with a finger, making him have a hard time not to let his smile show but failing terribly.

 

“You got it, Captain.” He said with a wink.

 

She gave him a eye roll and playfully hit his human arm before they went back to see the movie.


	20. Karaoke night gone....

After getting her new rank she, Bucky and Steve headed back home. Jordan let out a small content sigh as she was about to step out of the elevator only to freeze up as soon as she did. She felt Bucky's arm around her back, as if to help her not freak out too much at the sight before them. 

 

“Sorry Jo, but you know Tony doesn't take a no when it comes to a party.” Pepper said gently to her as she gave her a hug, Bucky's arm being gone for now.

 

Jordan returned the hug and shook her head gently. “Yeah I know, kinda feel like the theme is a bit...too patriotic?” Jordan said as she let her eyes wander around the now USA themed common floor.

 

They didn't have time to say more before Tony showed up and gave Jordan a bear hug and draped her in a USA flag. She did raise a brow to him but decided to play nice with her uncle, it wasn't everyday his niece became a Captain.

“I know what you're gonna say “I said no party”” Tony did a bad imitation of her but she interrupted him before he could finish.

“Actually,” She said with a small smile as she walked into the big living room, still wit tha flag as a some sort of patriotic cape, where they had the bar and turned back to face her uncle again. “I kinda like it.” Tony smiled big to her at this.

 

Now the rest of the team got their chances to hug her and because they are awesome, when it was Clint's turn he smirked a little and did a fist bump with Jo, making her smile even bigger and they finished with a “explosion”. They celebrated her with drinks and cake and a lot of laughter from shared stories of fails that had happened over the years with the team. 

After a few hours someone *cough * Tony *cough * got the brilliant idea to play karaoke and soon the big tv screen showed some lyrics to a Katy Perry song as Tony started it up with Fireworks. After Nat, Bruce, Wanda and Vision had took each turn they cheered on Jordan and she hesitatingly walked up, still with the flag on, Tony had just put it back on her the few times she had tried take it off so she took the hint and kept it on, to the “scene” and took the mic and typed in the first song she thought of into the smaller screen for song requests and soon the first words were shown and she carefully sang along.

 

“You think I'm pretty  
Without any make-up on”

She glanced a little at Bucky but not long enough to see the small smile on his lips that gradually grew.

“You think I'm funny  
When I tell the punch line wrong  
I know you get me  
So I'll let my walls come down, down”

Getting more comfortable singing she sang with more feeling and no more hesitation. And even moved a little, not really dancing but living into the music-way.

“Before you met me  
I was alright  
But things were kinda heavy  
You brought me to life  
Now every February  
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I  
We'll be young forever

You make me feel like I'm living a, teenage, dream  
The way you turn me on  
I, can't, sleep  
Let's runaway  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back

My, heart, stops  
When you look at me  
Just, one, touch  
Now baby I believe  
This, is, real

So take a chance  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali  
And got drunk on the beach  
Got a motel and  
Built a fort out of sheets

I finally found you  
My missing puzzle piece  
I'm complete  
Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I  
We'll be young forever

You make me feel like I'm living a, teenage, dream  
The way you turn me on  
I, can't, sleep  
Let's runaway  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back

My, heart, stops  
When you look at me  
Just, one, touch  
Now baby I believe  
This, is, real

So take a chance  
And don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me  
In my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight” 

She finished up the song and got cheers from the crowd. She smiled a little and went to sit back in her seat, when Clint started to cheer that she should take another song. 

“Sure, if you go first with a Katy Perry song.” Jo dared him.

 

Clint just smirked and got up from his seat and got the mic from her before he typed in a song. Jo sat down at her spot next to Pepper and Bucky and enjoyed the show Clint put on as he danced as he sang along to Katy Perry's Last Friday Night. 

During Clint's performance, Bucky sneaked a arm around Jordan's shoulders and whispered into her ear.

 

“What can't my girl do?” He meant it to be a compliment, but she took it way too seriously how easy it was for him to call her “His” girl. She tired to ignore it and focus on Clint's performance. 

Clint's performance was of high quality and earned loud applauds and cheers from the group when he finished up. Extra as he is, he bowed dramatically before he returned to his spot between Wanda and Bruce. Jordan got up to the “scene” and typed in a new song she had recently learned earlier that week, since she discreetly and hopefully without a conversation, get Bucky to back off a little.

“Pour another drink, I don't wanna think  
Oh, it's been a long day  
Get out of your head, smoking on my bed  
Put that song on replay  
Don't worry now, look what we found  
We don't have to go all-in

Head in the clouds, both looking down  
Doesn't mean that we're falling, oh  
We can keep it simple, baby  
Let's not make it complicated”

She turned so she could if needed, see the lyrics but was mostly turned towards the audience. She got eye contact with Bucky as she sang the two next lines, then looked generally mostly at the team. 

“Labels are so overrated  
Let's not make it complicated”

She did some small dance moves as the song followed, making it look more like a performance than a game, earning some cheers from Wanda, Nat and Clint.

“Rules are meant for breaking, baby  
Let's not make it complicated  
Why don't we just go get naked?” 

“Let's not make it complicated  
Let's not make it complicated  
Let's not make it complicated  
Skinny dip at night, I can see your eyes  
Searchin' through the shadows

You don't have to fight, I'll let you decide  
I can help you let go  
Don't worry now, look what we found  
We don't have to go all-in  
Head in the clouds, both looking down  
Doesn't mean that we're falling, oh

We can keep it simple, baby  
Let's not make it complicated  
Labels are so overrated

Let's not make it complicated  
Rules are meant for breaking, baby  
Let's not make it complicated  
Why don't we just go get naked?  
Let's not make it complicated”

Song finished. Cheers from the team. But with a fake small smile Jordan swallowed the lump she suddenly got in her throat when she for half a second saw Bucky's face. He looked hurt but more than that, he looked....a little angry? She didn't have more time to try and read his expression since he quickly noticed she watched him and he covered it up with a small smile.


	21. A tough day

It was three weeks later and the team were in the middle of their breakfast and small talk.

“Hey, you okay, Jo?” He asked her gently and gently nudged his hand at her right arm.

 

She didn't respond at first, just sat there quietly for a short while but long enough for the others to notice something was off about her. Bucky, sitting next to her, put his human arm around her back, letting her rest a bit more towards him is she felt like it. He also tried to talk quietly and calmly to her. Slowly she seemed to zone back in and blinked for a second like she was waked a early morning by the bright sun. 

 

Embarrassed about her zone out she quietly said “Sorry, guess I zoned out a little...” 

She heard the team tell her it was okay and Bruce asked if she wanted some water. She politely declined the offer and excused herself from the common area and locked herself in her room. Once in her room, sitting on the carpeted floor, resting her back towards her bed she let it all out, the panic attack and the tears. She hugged her herself and began to rock herself as she let the emotions eat her up.

 

“I ca- I can't take this. Not again.” She mumbled over and over again as she cried.

 

It began with a “joke” about Steve being pure for the Captain America job, followed by a story from Tony about Jordan playing dirty at a monopoly game when she was a kid. For the team it was just jokes and stories but for her it had triggered to all the times she had played dirty games to get the right intel for a missions, followed by all the times she had made a mistake or failed a mission, specifically the one with her former squad and she had the scene of them being killed on re-play and it felt like she was suffocating from the pain of thinking about them that way. She gasped for air and suddenly she felt something, no, someone holding her tight to it's body. 

 

“You're safe. You're home in New York and I'm here.” She relaxed into his embrace and sobbed.

 

Bucky gently stroke her back to calm her down. He was the only one Jordan had ordered Jarvis to open her door for when she locked it if she was feeling, well like she did right now, like shit.

 

Her PTSD had been pretty chill for a while but small things could still trigger it but mostly it set off for bigger things, like sudden loud noises (in a war zone she could deal with it, but at home she still freaked out if someone shouted her name too loudly).

 

She let him comfort her and gently talk her back to a more calming state. They sat on her grey carpet for a while, her snuggled up in his arms, feeling both like she was so very grateful for having him there for her but in the meantime she felt like shit because she knew he still had some very dark nightmares and he shouldn't have to deal with her shit as well. Nevertheless, she let him stay and they moved to lay more comfortably in her bed.

 

It began with her just moving to face him and stroking his arm gently and him holding her close to him, to both of them after a while, being intertwined, kissing like there was no tomorrow. As their wild make out session got even wilder, Jordan suddenly moved her lips out of reach for Bucky. He shot her a look as she heard him breath a bit heavy. She was now straddling him where he laid in her bed, looking sexy as hell.

 

“Before we go further, I need to know you can handle...some wind.” She said in a serious tone.

 

Bucky blinked a bit confused at first but then remembered what she meant he nodded.

 

“I've handled it countless times, haven't I?” He said with a smirk.

 

“Stupid man. No.” She said friendly to him and gently boop:ed the tip of his nose, a smile on her face.

“I held the wind action back all those times but I can feel that this time, oh man. This time I really just want to go all in, if you think you can-” 

He shut her up by giving her a deep kiss, deepening it more as she relaxed into his touch. 

 

“I.” * Kiss* “Want.” * Kiss* “All.“ *Kiss * “Of you.” He said between deep and breathtaking kisses, making her moan a little in anticipation and how good it all felt.

She noticed pretty early that Bucky was going harder than he had all the other times they've had sex (which was almost every single night before they went to sleep). She smirked to him and gradually the sex became harder, rougher and more playful as they both let themselves really enjoy it with both's strengths. 

They switched to a few different positions, from the bed to him taking her on her desk, the carpet, and mostly against the walls. They found out that after the shower sex that both really liked it when he held her up with his metal arm and she liked the way his hard thrusts felt even harder with her back against a wall. They ended up back in the bed and after they both finished they laid there catching their breaths.

 

Jordan let her eyes wander around her now thrashed room, she had really let out her wind action and it had resulted with tearing of curtains as well as knocking down and breaking some decorative stuff. To be fair the curtains ripped a lot when they were against the window and things got wild. Since they had really let it go all the way, Bucky had ripped apart all of her pillows and even her duvet was pretty much all feathers now. Her bed as well had broken two of the four legs and they were laying all tilted with their heads closer to the floor then what their feet was.

She gently shoved Bucky in the ribs, he looked up at her and followed her gaze and looked back to her with a “oups” look. She let out a small laugh.

 

“And I was afraid of breaking YOU. Look at my room! We completely destroyed it and my bed! Even my desk is all skewed.” She said in a sigh.

 

“Good thing we have my room then. You're more than welcome to move in with me.” She met his eyes and saw that he was serious. 

 

Suddenly feeling nervous she stammered a little. “I-I, no it's fine. It just needs a little bit of” She let her voice trail off as she took in the mess. “*Sigh * Cleaning.” She looked down to the mattress as she moved to lay on her stomach.

 

Bucky let out a small sigh as he gently stroke her back softly.

 

“Jo. I know you want this to go slow bu-”

“But what!?” She snapped up at him. 

 

Bucky hang a little with his head. “We both now what this is” he gestured to them. “And we both know where it's headin-”

“Stop. Just stop talking.” She said as she hurried to get one of the blankets she always had close to her bed to snuggle up in during movies with Bucky. 

 

She wrapped the blanket around herself and dismissed Bucky's try to get her to “have the talk” and hurried to grab some clothes and locked herself in her bathroom where she got cleaned up and dressed then back out to her room.

 

Bucky had put on boxers and were just in the middle of putting on his pants. He sighed as he saw her and zipped up the pants and walked up to her. He tried to hug her but she gently shoved him away from her so he took a step back and held one of her hands, playing a little gently with it. She hung her head and looked down to her carpet, not saying anything or acknowledging that he was even there.

 

“Look, I'm sorry. It's just... I don't know what's stopping you from us.” Now it was his turn to hang his head in a sad and frustrated way. 

 

He let out a frustrated sigh. “If you'd only talk to me. You know I'm always here for you and I will listen.” He said a bit faster as Jordan was taking back her hand and moved towards her ruined bed, him following her.

 

She shook her head at him, still looking down to the ground from where she was sitting now on the edge on her bed, looking a little funny with both the legs on the short side where her pillows had now turned to just feathers had both broke so she sat tilted.

 

“Jo. Talk to me.” He said in an offer and squatted down in front of her, watching her closely.

 

Another shake of her head. But this time he could see her wiping away a tear. It hurt like hell to see her like this, sad or whatever she felt as he had no fucking clue since she didn't share it with him. It hurt because since he didn't know how to help her and he felt powerless and frustrated. He put his right hand at her left knee and gave it a small reassuring touch, but she still didn't look at him.

 

“Honey, please.” He said a little above a whisper. 

 

“Don't call me that.” She said back in the same low tone.

 

That really hurt. Bucky could practically feel something break just for those words. Here sat the love of his life, shutting him out and being so cold against him. He ignored the few tears that was beginning to fill up and threatening to fall.

 

“I love you.” He said in a more low, broken voice.

“Don't. Say that.” She said through gritted teeth, her eyes now sharply closed as if she was trying with all her being to not let her tears free, which was accurate.

 

For him it felt like she had stabbed him with a dagger in his heart and now just twisted it around to make the damage even greater. The next words he said, he said with the most broken and desperate voice she'd ever heard him use, and it broke her.

 

“Please, Jo.” 

“Get out.” She whispered to him, but for Bucky it hurt just as much as if she'd shouted it in his face.

He gave a small accepting nod, which she didn't see as she still didn't look at him. He slowly got up to standing position and left her room with a soft klick of her door signaling to her that he had left. She opened her eyes and tears filled them. She began to sob as she took a pillow to hold and cry into.


	22. Hurt

Bucky as soon as he closed her door and walked up to his he turn around and headed towards the elevator and got down to the gym. In the elevator he had wiped his tears away but if there were more he was now too filled with anger and frustration too care as he ignored Steve's happy greeting from across the room. He walked up to the punching bags that was specially done for him and Steve to not break as easily as the normal ones. 

He let a hard punch go and hit the bag hard. It felt good to let it all out so he aggressively punched the poor bag until Steve suddenly tried to stop him. Bucky blinked as if he had to focus in to actually see his friend. He let his arms rest agains his side.

“Steve, what are you doing?” He asked confusedly. 

 

Steve shot him a “are you kidding me-look”. “Bucky, you've been punching the bag violently for about fifteen minutes without gloves and you're bleeding.” Steve said in a concern tone.

Bucky looked down at his hands and saw that he was bleeding from a few knuckles. He let out a sigh and looked back to his friend.

“And I thought I should check in on you since you just started to yell at the punching bag. Wanna tell me what all this is about?” Steve asked his old friend with the concern of a mother hen.

 

Bucky, now not on a adrenaline high anymore, hang a bit with his whole body and Steve got him to sit down on one of the benches they had at the gym. They sat down and Bucky began talking.

 

“It fucking sucks.” He said with a shake of his head. “I try so hard to help but I just fuck everything up!” 

 

“No, you don-” Steve began but didn't get a chance to finish.

 

“I'm there for her all the time, I try to help her but how the fuck should I know what to do when she doesn't tell me what's wrong!” Bucky began to tear up again and hung his head low.

 

“All she does is hurt me.” He said so low Steve barely heard him. “She pushes me away and... makes it seem like one minute she wants me and the next she wants me to disappear.” 

 

Steve let him vent out before he said anything. Bucky looked up as he continued and spoke a littler louder.

“It's only at night time we, or rather she would act like we were any other couple that could watch movies, cuddle, whatever together and she acts like she actually want this to work but the next morning she tells me to go. But most times it's just sex and it kinda feels like she's just using me.” He looked down to his lap as he continued.

“And we don't actually spend any real time together during the days. And the only time we talk about more real stuff is after one of her panic attacks.... I just... I don't think I can take more of this.”

 

“I didn't know you two had it so rough, why didn't you tell me sooner?” Steve asked gently.

 

Bucky dried his face as best he could and shot Steve a look. “Maybe because up to now I've just managed how it is and I actually had some hope that she'd come around and want to be in a real relationship.” He sighed.

“I'm just so sick of how cold she can be against me and the whole no-lable thing is making it all more confusing to what we actually, well, were. Since she probably won't talk to me anymore.” He said in a sad and broken voice.

Steve spent the following hours to help cheer his friend up, but Bucky was more blue than the blue sky they had that sunny day.  
\------------------------------------------

They had gotten out of the compound and went on a drive and just came back early evening. They small talked until they came to the common floor's kitchen and both fell silent as Jordan stood with her back towards them, filling a glass with water. She slowly turned to face them. Steve the ever gentleman he is, of course greeted her friendly, she gave him a small nod. Bucky let out a low “hey”, he got a nod as well.

 

“I'll be in my room till dinner's ready.” Bucky said more to Steve than to Jordan.

“Okay, see you then.” Steve said friendly back to him and watched him disappear out of his sight.

Steve turned his attention to Jordan. She gave him a quick look then looked down towards the floor as she knew what he would probably bring up and rested against the counter as she waited for him to scold her.

 

“How are you?” The question was so surprising she looked up with her jaw slightly hanging, looking dumbfound for half a second before she closed her mouth.

“I-eh, fine. I'm all fine.” She stammered.

Steve gave her a patient look, making her let out a sigh.

“I know you like to keep to yourself, but you should also feel like you can be 100% yourself with someone. Just a friendly advise.” He said gently to her.

 

She gave him a look like she still expect him to scold her but was just met with a friendly nod to show she should get her ass out of the kitchen.

 

“Guess I better go talk to him... sure you can cook by yourself today?” She asked since they were supposed to cook for the team that evening. Steve nodded and she left to see Bucky.

 

A soft knock was heard on his door. His warm voice telling her it was open. She let herself in and closed the door behind her. She found him sitting on his blue carpeted floor, resting his back towards the side of his bed, hugging a pillow. She silently joined next to him.

 

“Tell me, do I keep on hurting you?” She said out into the air.

He looked at her and a small frown was visible on his perfect face. “What did Steve say?” He said in a bit lower voice.

 

“Nothing. That's why I am asking you: am I hurting you by...what we're doing?” 

 

He turned to look down at the pillow and waited a short while before he drew a shaky breath and broke the silence.

 

“You don't mean to-” He started.

 

“It's a simple yes or no.” She stated.

He nodded a little and swallowed before he spoke again. “Y-yes, you hurt me.” He was now trying his best not to start crying. “But I love you, so I let it be.” 

The words he had just said made Jordan feel like there was a big lump in her stomach and that she was a monster that was trying to drain everything good in her life, starting with the one person she cared about the most.

 

“Bucky, I-I.... it's not okay for me to hurt you like this. I don't think if this is how it's gonna be that we should be togeth-”

Bucky snapped his head to her and interrupted her mid sentence. “Will you marry me?” He blurted out.

 

She fell silent and looked shocked at him, mouth open in a O shape. “The fuck?” She let out as soon as her brain started to understand what he had asked her.

She quickly got up to standing position, him following her action. “Marry me?” He asked again, now showing more love in his voice than before.

“I-what? I-I can't...not now. What's wrong with you?” She looked angry at him now. “I'm breaking this off and you interrupt me to PROPOSE to me?! Who even does that!?” She stormed out of his room and slammed the door shut. 

She got into her own room and likewise, she slammed that door shut too, as well as locked it and ordered Jarvis not to let anyone in.

She was too upset and too sad to eat that evening so she just stayed in her room watching sad music videos and occasionally she would hit her broken bed, since well she'd get a new one the next day. She just had to have a slight awkward conversation with Tony before she'd get a new one, but hell if you need a new bed, you need a new bed, so she sighed but thought that with her uncle's history he wouldn't be too weirded out by a broken bed... she hoped.


	23. emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sorry it took so long for a update, now I'm currently working of chapter 24, so hopefully I'll get back on track with the updates :D

The next morning she asked Jarvis when the coast was clear to leave her room and was told 10:15 am that all residents on the common floor had departed for their daily work. She thanked Jarvis, snuck out of her room and grabbed a bar and a water to eat on her way to Tony's workshop where Jarvis had tolde her he would be for the day.

 

“Tony!” She let him know loudly that she was in his workshop since she'd been in too many almost accidents for not letting him know she was there until in the last second where he always had to save her or she had to jump away from a flying object and often land on something hard and it always ended with some bruises. 

 

Tony's head snapped up from one of his suits he was currently working on, a big smile on his lips since it was a while since she's been in the workshop. 

“Heya kiddo, you took a long snooze today?” He said in a friendly tease since she'd always wake up before him.

She walked up to where he was sitting on a work stool and on her way there dragged another one with her and sat down next to him on her own stool and spun from side to side a little awkwardly. Tony was fixing something but talked to her in the meantime. 

 

“Long time since you've been here, sure you don't wanna go see all the new toys?” He asked her.

 

“Ehm, I actually came here because I need some help.” She said, trying not to look to awkward.

 

“Oh.” Tony stopped working with the suit and spun his stool to sit in front of her so he could see her better. A smile was shown. “What can I help you with?”

She thought it best to go straight to the point.  
“A new bed.” She stated simply. Tony looked a little puzzled at her. 

“You need a new bed? What did you do to yours?” He asked with a small confused frown.

She bit her lower lip nervously. “Let's just say... mine broke. It was a accident... sort of.Oh and my desk is... all skewed. ”

 

Realization showed up on her uncles face. “You-”

“Please don't say it. I feel already too embarrassed to even be here and ask you for a new one.” She stopped him from making a dumb joke.

 

“Jo, there's nothing to be embarrassed about having a spicy sex life. Just let Jarvis know what bed you want and it'll get fixed till the evening.” He said friendly to her.

 

She just nodded and watched him go back to working on the suit, small talking a little. She stayed there for the rest of the day, learning about the new projects and the new toys her uncle had built. As much as Tony enjoyed educating her about all those stuff he had realized something was really bothering her.

“As much as I enjoy spending this quality time with you, I'm not stupid.” She gave him a look like she didn't knew what he was talking about.

“I know you and I know when something's not right, wanna talk about it?” He offered her gently.

She picked up a hand from one of the suits that laid on a tray and began playing a little with it.

 

“Anything I can shoot?” She asked him and was pointed to a target he had had set up to use in the workshop.

She let the light beam hit the target three times before she broke the silence.

 

“I broke things off with Bucky.” She simply stated and shot the target twice.

“And I'm not a person that deals with this sort of feelings.” Five more shots were fired before she left the suit's hand back on the tray and went to sit down on her stool.

Tony sat down next to her on his stool and let her breath a little before asking all the questions.

 

“We broke the bed and the desk last night. Who knew a super soldier and a mutant with wind powers could tear a room apart like that...” She let out a small laugh, but there was no humor in it.


	24. Emotionally fucked up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block sucks, but now I'm on track again!

Jordan had the following weekend to go out in the field with her squad, leaving things with Bucky in a shaky, non too great place. She let out a deep sigh as she thought back to him, the kind and adorable man she knew she wanted to be with was hurting so much because of her being scared and insecure. She didn't realize she had closed her eyes until she heard the pilot beginning the countdown for her and her squad to jump. She looked awake in a matter of seconds and gave a quick walkthrough on the mission, the squad all nodding in agreement. They had their parachutes on ready to go and walked up to the opening of the back of the plan. 

“Okay, let's go boys! Remember to not land on any landmines!” She called to the squad right before she led them off the plane. 

 

She felt the excitement she always felt when she jumped from a plane since it didn't happen that often, most of the time they were already on the ground but since the enemy were hidden in a so closed off area they had the only choice to come from above. She pulled the rope and her parachute came flowing out of her backpack, all working perfectly as always. She steered the best she could and was just about to call in the headset she, and everyone in the squad had for the jump, was about to say job well done as a sudden wind drew her out from having land under her feet to be replaced with hard and sharp looking rocks, no more like cliffs coming out of the water and continuing far from the beach. 

 

“Oh fuck...” She muttered to herself, bracing herself for the impact.  
\-----------------------------------------

Jordan had a few blurry memories from waking up in pain at one very sharp, huge rock's foot. That followed by memories of men in military clothes, but they were not her men. They kept her as their prisoner and she remembered moments were she was awake that they wanted to try something that sounded like it would hurt a lot, from all she had overheard it sounded almost like they wanted to try a new weapon on her. She had swallowed deep when she heard that but the guard that was placed outside her cell soon after she had heard some of their plan shot her with a small shot of some drug, there off just the few memories she had of the place. 

The last memory of the cell was when one of her men, Flynn, a new member to the squad opened the door and in seeing her in her bad shape laying on the floor he shouted to Gabe and they helped her get out of that hellhole. Next memory was a plane. That was all she remembered until she woke up in the Avengers facility's hospital floor.  
\-------------------------------------

The first thought she had when she woke up was “Bucky”. She thought back to right before she took the jump from the plane. Back to the moment when she told herself that her heart laid with Bucky, as well as her future. She began crying a little at the thought. 

“Bucky.” She let out a small sniffle at whispering his name. 

 

She didn't know where she got the energy to do what she did next, it was like her heart were the one to take charge of her life as well as the rest of her body as she got up from the hospital bed, luckily not seeing any staff members or any team members as she got free from the many medical monitors she was hooked up to. As she got up from the bed she found that someone, probably Pepper, had placed a pair of black sweatpants, fresh underwear, black socks, a dark grey t shirt as well as a black zip up hoodie. She quickly got dressed then headed to where Bucky had to be, according to Jarvis that was very fast with the man's location.

 

She didn't waste anytime and as soon as the elevator doors opened she ran out and headed straight to the common kitchen, to the dining kitchen island where she could see Bucky cutting up some vegetables, Wanda cookign something on the stove and the rest of the team were scattered around, some already talking at the dining table and the rest in the couch group right next to the kitchen. She spoke as she walked up to him, ignoring he members that shot her looks as to wonder what she was doing up already.

 

“I was a fucking idiot before, a scared to hell idiot that didn't know how to deal with the fact that I'm in love with you. ” She said, just letting the words out. Everyone was silent and watched her come closer. 

 

“I'm a idiot, gun freak, emotionally fucked up and a freaking mess and I have every intention of marrying you some day.” She said as she in quick steps walked up the the island, placing her hands in support on top of the island, Bucky on the opposite side, looking a bit chocked and a lot surprised at her, the vegetables long forgotten.

“Wh-what?” Bucky, intellectually, asked her surprised. 

 

She took a deep breath as she continued, a bit more love in her voice now. “I love you and I'm sorry that I had to be on a plane, about to jump off it to realize that you're the only one I want to have a future with. “ She felt a bit vulnerable as she said the last part. 

Neither of them seemed to remember the group in the kitchen, that looked with even more interest to what would happen next. 

 

Jordan looked nervously at him. “Sorry, was I supposed to be down on one knee? Oh God, this is the first time I've ever been in this situatio-” She went quiet when she felt Bucky's lips on hers, making her relax a bit. 

He pulled away a bit so he could look at her, and he moved to her side of the island so he could hug her. “Yes.” He said with a smile.

 

She looked a little confused. 

 

“You mean “yes” as in I should get down on one knee?” She asked in a small voice.

 

He let out a small chuckle and gave her a smile. “Wouldn't hurt if you did-no come back up.” He said as she began to do as he said, but let him help her up.

 

Bucky had a big, ridiculous smile and let out a laugh. “Silly Jo, of course I'll marry you.” 

That made her relax and she quickly threw her arms around his neck. She felt his arms hug her close to his body. They pulled away enough to share a few sweet kisses, both smiling so it was hard to properly kiss. They heard the group in the kitchen cheer happily to the newly engaged couple, making them break away to smile.

 

They soon calmed down and Bucky went back to the vegetables, with her resting against the island. 

“Where you really gonna go down on one knee and properly ask me to marry you?” He asked with a smirk.

 

“Yes! I don't know how girls asked guys in the 40's and I didn't want to offend you in doing it wrong.” She admitted a bit shyly.

He laughed and gently shook his head before he leant over the island to give her a kiss. 

 

“My sweet, ridiculous Jo... first off: I have never heard of a girl asking the guy in that time. Second: I think your way was great and I would probably say yes no matter how you asked.” 

 

This made her feel a bit embarrassed yet too happy to look at him.

 

“Aww, come on you can't hide the first time I could get a chance to see you blush.” He said in a gentle joke.

 

She slowly looked back to him and he smiled. “See, you're still adorable... and deadly.” he added the last part when she shot him a disapproving look.

 

“I knew you'd be sort of normal!” Tony cheered happily, making the couple laugh a bit.

“So.... what happens now? Happily ever after?” She asked him, a slight raised eyebrow showed.

 

“First you actually have to participate in the wedding, then yeah, happily ever after sounds pretty good to me.” He said with a smile.

 

Tony began talking about finding wedding planners and that they could use the one he and Pepper had, they were gonna get married in about a month but after that wedding they could have their planner. He was talking about a big wedding and Bucky saw how freaked out Jordan began to look.

“Oh, we don't have to think about all that stuff right now. One thing at a time.” He got her to calm down a little and she gave him a smile.

 

“Yeah,... By the way, anyone who knows why the hell was I in the hospital wing?” She asked the team.

 

“You've been in a come for ten days.” He informed her.

“Ah fuck, I knew those fuckers did something to me but to put me in a coma is just rude.” She muttered. 

“What do you remember?” Nat asked her friendly.

She shrugged. “Not much, just some random memories. Guess they kept me drugged or something.”

she heard Bucky mutter something about how she shouldn't have left in the first place. She turned to face him. 

 

“Dude, you've got to stop doing that. The C squad needed me and I was available.” She told him gently but firmly.

“I just accidentally fucked up with my parachute, it happens sometimes.” She told him more friendly. He gave her a softer look.

 

The food was finally done and at the dining table the team had some easy going conversations as they ate, sure the couple had to answer some wedding related questions but mostly they let the couple be since it hadn't even been fifteen minuets since they had gotten engaged.


	25. Heart attack

After a few days of waking up from her coma and being engaged Jordan got a letter from her General that “due to failure to properly do her work” she was hereby fired from the special ops and the army. She got angry and a mild tornado completely ruined her room as she held the letter. She left her room and began to loudly talking crap about the General. Like how he looked like a mix between grumpy cat and a rotten tomato, along with just how terrible he was as a human being and a boss. Like how his orders sucked and much more as she without being really aware of her walking straight into the living room and interrupting the guys tv show. 

 

“You think I'm annoying when I'm on your team? Oh, I'm gonna show you how annoying I can really be, you fucking stupid squid-ward face!” She said loudly into nothing. 

 

“Honey, wanna fill us in on what's wrong?” She looked surprised to see that Bucky, Steve, Sam and Clint were all looking at her. 

 

“Fucking asshat General FUCKIGN FIRED me! For being kidnapped and the coma, I “didn't properly do my job”. Agh, he's always trying to find new ways of screwing me. I'm the best he's got available and you don't remove your best fucking player!” She said loudly, anger radiating practically from her. She showed him the letter and went on to say what she really thought about her former boss.

 

“He seems to like seeing his squads getting killed, like the thing with the B squad. All of his orders are bullshit and I know this because the orders I gave DIDN'T get any in my team KILLED!” 

 

“He thinks he'll get away with this too, but I'mma show him.” She said in a scary calm tone.

 

“I'm gonna regret asking this but, how are you gonna show him?” Sam asked her friendly.

 

“I'm going to his boss with the Alphas and Blast squad's last case files, as well as the Coyotes's and he'll see that the General is screwing us over.” She told him, still in her scary calm voice.

 

“Be careful, going over someone's head can end pretty nasty.” Steve warned her.

She locked eyes with him, she narrowed her eyes into scary slits as she spoke to him. 

 

“I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty if that means getting rid of a terrible boss that gets off on his employees getting killed due to his shitty orders.”

 

“Jo, please think this through before you do something you might regret.” Bucky told her more gently.

 

She sent him a disappointed look. “I might not be a former assassin, but I'm not scared of a challenge.” She said daringly to him.

Bucky let out a slight annoyed sigh. “Just think before you act, that's all I'm saying.” He told her.

 

She rolled her eyes at him. “Pussy.” She said disapprovingly to him.

 

“Because I don't want anything to happen to you just because you want to go after some crazy boss? Then yeah, sure call me a pussy then.” He said back, a bit annoyed now.

 

“Ugh, I don't need you to care about me, I just need you to agree that he's ruining my life and I want your support!” She exclaimed to him. 

“If this is how it's gonna be to be married to you, then I'm really not impressed.” She muttered to him and left the room. 

 

“Oh, come on!” Bucky let out and sank back down low into the couch, running a hand over his face as he muttered. “She'll be the reason I finally get a damned heart attack..” 

 

“Dude, you fucked up.” Clint, non helpfully at all, just had to tell him.

Bucky sent him a annoyed look. “You already knew she's kinda crazy in her own way so this shouldn't be a big surprise.” Clint said.

 

Bucky frowned at him and Clint continued. “Even if she acts crazy, you need to support her decisions and this one might not even get her in any close to getting killed scenario, so just join her damned team already.”

“Yeah, you're right...” He muttered and Clint looked like he had a victory smile.

\------------------

“I'm not moving in because I want to, I just kind of destroyed my room.” She said as she put some of her clothes in a empty dresser that Bucky never used since all of his clothes fitted in his wardrobe.

 

He sat down on the edge of his bed and gestured to her to come closer. She moved slowly closer to him and let him take her hands in his. 

 

“Of course I think what the General is doing is wrong, but I'll never not care about your safety.” He admitted honestly to her, in a gentle tone.

 

“So, of course I'll support whatever you decide to do about this. As Clint pointed out, we're supposed to be a team and support each others, sometimes crazy, decisions.” He said, smiling a little as he met her eyes. 

 

She matched his smile and gave him a hug that somehow ended up with her sitting comfortably cuddled up in his lap just cuddling her soon to be husband. 

 

“Sorry for what I said before...I was just so angry and I took it out on you and that was wrong.” She apologized to him and gave him a kiss to his cheek.

 

“It's okay, no harm done.” He said, showing a charming smile before he closed in and gave her a kiss.  
…............


	26. Undercover

With the files she had a pretty good case against the General but not enough to really get him fired. So, she went undercover with some help from first her lawyer she had hired, then the C squad and some people more involved with getting dirt uncovered from higher ups. She even got a piece of evidence that showed that the General were playing dirty, from a mercenary that had on one of his jobs found the file and decided to bring it home with him. 

 

She had to really dig deep and it took time and with her undercover operation she couldn't risk staying at the Avengers compound and had spent her nights at hotels and motels for five months by now, going from the warm summer days of July to the cold that came with the chilly November. She had waited until Tony and Pepper got married before she gave the team a brief summary of why she had to be gone for a while. The wedding had been beautiful and of course, big and just perfect for the famous couple. Jo had felt slightly weird to be one of the brides maids but the smile on the both of the two people that had taken care of her since she was eight years old made her smile back and stop feeling weirded out and just so happy for them.

 

It hadn't been easy as mostly she had to lie, fight a little and avoiding getting shot as some didn't like what she was trying to uncover and she actually had to play a game of poker- which she won before one would talk. She even had to lightly torture one with her powers to make her spill the tea. But now, after being gone for five months without even the tiniest communication with the team she had finally everything she needed to help the lawyer get the General fired and preventing him from ever getting a job in the army or anything like it ever again.

 

She was now back home, dressed in dark jeans and a wine red t-shirt and a fake, black leather jacket. She sat chilling at the dinner table with her dark sock clad feet up on a separate chair and nodded in greeting to the team when they came out of the elevator from a meeting (Jarvis had informed her they were on their way back.) 

“You're all late, fuckers.” She said in a friendly tease and smirked as she got up from her chair to stand up as Tony closed in and gave her a long hug.

 

“I was so worried about you, you never called or even texted.” He told her with love and concern as he took a step back to look her over. “Are you okay?” 

 

She smiled at her uncles concern. “Yes, I'm fine and I told you I wouldn't be able to contact any of you in any way.” She told him friendly before Nat claimed it was her turn to hug the younger woman.

 

After Nat the rest of the team got their turns to hug her and small talk about what exactly she had been up to. There hadn't been any real tears until Jo moved towards Peter. The boy had started crying and stuttered out that she had just left without saying bye. 

 

“P, I'm sorry that I left the way that I did but I-”

“You had too, I get that but you didn't even say anything about it to me.” Peter finished her sentence for her and hung a little with his head as he continued. “I thought we were becoming friends... guess I was wrong...” 

 

She had had enough of his sad monologue and hugged him tightly, he stiffened up a bit but soon relaxed and hugged her back. The month before she had left she had spent everyday, at least an hour per day to get to know the newest member of the team and they had quickly bonded over memes and modern stuff that he didn't really feel like the others got, not on their level and they had quickly become friends. 

 

“I'm sorry.” She mumbled, hugging him close to her. “There's so much I wish that I'd done much better than what I actually did, and I really am sorry. I thought that the less that any of you knew, the better...since I had to do some bad stuff...” She told him in a more protective tone, she saw the boy as a friend but more and more he felt like the little brother she never got and she wanted to do everything to make him forgive her for leaving without even saying bye. Instead, Tony had informed him the little he knew of her whereabouts, that she had found out from Tony in a text right before she decided to turn her phone off.

 

He sniffed a little as he cried, her hugging and petting his back in a soothing manner. 

“What did you do?” He asked her through the tears.

 

“Oh P...I- I just had to use some of my training to find the evidence that I needed...” 

 

“So you killed people?” He asked in a small voice, making her hug him a bit tighter.

“No...but I did some bad things.” She answered him honestly.

Soon he stopped shivering from the crying and she let him go and he reassured her that he was fine as he dried his tears. After making sure he wouldn't get a breakdown she saw that Bucky was a lot closer to her than he had been a moment before. She swallowed and felt scared and nervous as he closed in to hug her. Right before he could, he got stopped by her words that seemed to just fly out of her mouth before she could think.

 

“I cheated on you.” 

 

Bucky stopped dead in his tracks and gave her a slight confused look mixed with something she couldn't read. The room was quickly silent and the tension was suffocating.

 

“Wh-” He began but she interrupted him.

 

“It was just a kiss, I swear it was just to get the intel.” She hurried to tell him. 

 

“Wha- who? And how..?” Bucky asked, confused.

 

“Deadpool. I needed the file he had taken from some guys office, he had killed him some hours before. I needed that file and he didn't want any other form of payment. Well, he said I needed to sleep with him but I talked him down to a terrible, awkward kiss.” She hurried to tell him.

“And yes- there was some tongue and I've felt terrible about it for three months-” She got interrupted by Bucky kissing her, with the perfect amount of tongue.

 

Once he pulled back she had to remember how to breath again and looked surprised at him. 

“You-you're not angry at me?” She asked a bit confused.

 

He shook his head a no, now the tension was gone from the room. “It was just a kiss and so long as it didn't mean anything I don't see a point in being angry. Just... maybe don't make it a habit to kiss other guys..” He said and she smiled to him and gave him a more innocent kiss.

 

“And I thought you'd break up with me and never want to see me again. Wow, best fiancé ever.” She said in a friendly tease, making him smile into the kiss.

 

“So, that's all ´the bad stuff´you've done on this solo case?” He asked her friendly.

 

She let the hug go and took a step back. “No... I did a lot of- it was hard without having clear orders and whenever I'd ´hit a wall´I had to do whatever it took to make them talk...and in the end I couldn't even save my job with all the ´non ordered´stuff I had to do.” She said in a not too proud voice.

 

“You tortured people!?” Peter, without thinking, asked in disbelieve.

 

She turned to face him. “Lets just say that the lawyer has everything she needs to get the General kicked off and basically eaten by piranhas.” Jo informed him.

“No army job? Why not join the team?” Tony suggested. She gave him a short nod but didn't get to say anything as Peter spoke up again.

 

“You used piranhas on someone!?” The kid asked before thinking. 

 

“No, but hmm, not a bad idea. I'll have to try it some other time.” She said as in a thought.

 

“You. Tortured. People?” Peter asked like in a chock.

 

“Peter calm down, they were all bad guys.” She tried to calm him down but he moved away from her.

“What's your kill score, or whatever it's called.” He demanded to know.

 

“Since I'm no longer in special ops or even in the army, I guess there is no harm in telling you.”

“528.” She continued to inform him without showing any emotion.

 

He drew a slight shaky breath and looked a bit scared at her. “How, you shot them all from what, like sniper distance?” 

“Peter.” Steve tried to get the teenager to stop interrogate her but the two friends didn't even look away from each other as she answered him.

 

“Mostly I shot them but then theres been: blowing them up with grenades, stabbing, throat cutting, snapping necks and once I was driving a tank and was ordered to run over a injured enemy.” She informed him, with scary- no emotion as she spoke.

 

“Jo, maybe don't-” Bucky began but she cut him off.

 

“Since I'll probably join the team, I want you to rather hear it from me than read it in my files.” She told him and turned back to face a chocked Peter.

 

“But you. You look so...-” He said and gestured to her.

 

“Small and innocent? Cute? You've just never seen me in a dangerous environment, so of course you think I would never hurt or kill someone.” She answered him friendly.

 

“But you don't even freak out when you lose at all those ps4 games?!” He asked, still chocked.

 

“Just because I'm trained to kill, I don't do it without orders or if it's a life or death situation. It doesn't mean I have to be mentally unstable and shoot the tv.” She said, a small smile showing.

 

“Mm-hmm.” He said, not completely sure of her stability and gave her a unsure look.

She let out a small sigh and took a step closer to him. This time he didn't move away.

“You never have to doubt that I would never hurt you or anyone on the team. I'm not some psycho just because I'm not a hero like you and I'm still your friend who loves memes and pop coulture.” She said gently to him and he slowly dropped the doubtful look he had been giving her.

“Okay, it's just.... a lot.” He gave her a small smile.

 

“But I guess we're cool... if you answer all my questions.” He said in a friendly tease. She smirked a little back to him as the team shouted “No!” 

 

She nodded to him. “Fine, but don't blame me when you get nightmares.” She teased back, making him smile.

 

“Jo, no. That's a bad idea.” Sam told her.

“He's seventeen, he watch all kinds of scary movies. I think he'll be fine.” She told him.

 

“So you really tortured people?” Peter asked, making her roll her eyes a bit at him.

“How about we sit down and you can get me caught up on everything that's been going on here.” She suggested and soon the remaining standing team members joined the rest in the big couch group and Clint informed her that he had been pranked with whipped cream instead of shaving crème when he was gonna shave a few days ago.   
…...…...................


	27. Morning in bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just a sex chapter, enjoy!

As they sat in the couch group they talked about her joining the team and everyone was in for it. Hearing them plan how her outfit might look like and that they would have to announce her as the newest hero she sighed, making them look at her.

 

“Guys, me joining the team does not mean I'm gonna be a hero. All it means is that I get to get rid of some bad guys, but don't try and define me as something that I'm not.” She told them friendly but firmly.

 

“But you being a soldier already defines you as-” Clint began but she cut him off.

 

“a person who just agreed to a lot of horrible orders. I could have disobeyed them but I didn't. So no, I'm no hero when I chose to obey the commander.” She informed him friendly.

“Sooo you mean that capsicle and frosty aren't heroes?” Tony asked her friendly.

 

She shook her head a no. “That's different, it depends on what the orders are. Mine was bad enough to never get anywhere near the “hero” section.” She informed him.

 

“Guys really, I'm fine with just being a former soldier and former Captain. I don't need a new “identity”.” She said, a smile showed and her tone was friendly.

 

“But your code name?” Peter asked her. She turned to look at him.

 

“If that really is that important, I guess I'll take my first squads name: A, or Alpha(s), that's the only code name I like, if we're not using my name.” She said and shrugged.

 

After a short discussion they agreed that her code name could be Alpha in order to honor her former squad.  
…........

Already the next day she got back into sparring with Wanda and Vision as they could surprise her a bit more with different things than Clint and Nat could or the two spies. She ran with Sam as he was the only one that really seemed to like shouting orders to her to not slack of on their runs. Well, she had Clint that teamed up with the Falcon and they became her personal trainers. She even tried some gymnastics with Peter but it really wasn't going as well as the workout she was used to.

She had been home for three weeks and did her best to stay occupied for as long as possible, only leaving time for her and Bucky to have enough time to watch a episode of one of the many tv shows they followed before she would fall asleep or they would have sex right before it was time to sleep. Bucky had noticed pretty much straight away that she seemed...heartbroken? But it took a while for him to realize why she was mooping around and not wanting to be alone with her thoughts. 

 

She had before she had gone undercover moved into Bucky's room and took over a bit more than he with her clothes but it all worked out without problems. Her old room had been turned into a guest room. Still in bed, just woken up for the day and she made a move to leave the bed but got gently pulled back down and wrapped in his warm embrace. She smiled but sighed.

 

“It's seven, it's time to get up and start the day.” She told him friendly.

 

He snuggled closer to her, his nose in the crook of her neck and shoulder, placing tiny kisses there. “They'll be fine without us for a little while.” He said in a husky tone that he knew made her weak in her entire body from the sexy sound of it. 

 

She moved to face him and he gently started to slowly feel her up. She moved slowly closer to him and was met with his soft lips on hers. There was a few gentle and sweet kisses that turned into more passionate and filled with lust as they felt each other up and soon her t-shirt and panties was laying on the floor next to his boxers.

 

Under the covers Bucky smiled down to her from where he was hovering over her, enjoying the feel of her legs wrapped around his waist. He bent down to kiss her as he entered her. She moaned in almost a whisper of pleasure and the feeling of having him like this as he moved in a nice rhythm. 

 

This time it was slower and gentler and more like actually lovemaking than what they had done since she had come back. Which was hard and fast against walls, shower wall included and almost falling off their bed a few times. This time he took care of her body and as much as she wanted to pull him closer to her and tell him to fuck her harder and faster, she wanted to continue the slower, oh so wonderful yet torturous pace he had set for them.

 

Bucky shot her a slight concern look when he felt and could practically see the air around her, closes to her body, start to lightly vibrate. 

 

“Honey, are you okay?” He asked her, pausing his movements as he looked down to her.

She nodded and smiled to him right before she pulled him down to kiss him. 

 

“No one else has made me vibrate of pleasure before, you're doing it everything right.” She mumbled with love in her voice, his lips only a few inches from hers as she spoke but were soon back at hers again as she claimed them as hers. 

 

Bucky smiled a victory smile, still kissing her and now resuming to the pace he had a moment before, enjoying the moans she let out. 

She placed her hands on his lower back, gently pushing him deeper into her and let the vibrations from her hands and arms to be felt by him. He made a moan sound mixed with a relieved sigh as she made him feel so much more with the vibrations. It was like they were on a whole new level of intimacy and they both smiled a little to each other as they loved this new feeling. It was even better when they both finally came. Their screams of such high level of pleasure got mixed together and they both were happy to know the soundproofing automatically turns on when they start with foreplay and lasts until it's been quiet for about two minuets. 

 

They laid next to each other, heavy panting for her and just a slight increased change in his breathing due to the serum. She turned to him and matched his smile as they locked eyes.

 

“Wow, can we stay here and do that the entire day?” She asked him.

He moved closer and soon they were kissing again, but a bit more hungrily now. She moved to be on top of him and straddled him, getting a exciting 'mmm' sound from him when she began rolling her hips. She could feel him already began to get hard again as she teased him with her movements, kissing him all the time. 

 

She let out a deep moan when she felt him enter her and the feeling of being “filled” was something she loved, specially with him. Sure, she had her toys but the real deal was something else and a completely different feeling. She moved her hips and allowed him deeper into her. She decided that since they were making up for lost time, to remove the covers completely and straitened up so he could get a nice view of her naked body, riding him and if the lust filled eyes, moans and lip biting- both on his own lower lip and hers was anything to go by, he absolutely loved every second of it.

 

After that second time they tried to shower but before they could even get out of the shower they were having shower sex. Once they finished the shower they dried off but both teased the other with playing to remove their towels and it ended up with them having missionary sex back in the bed, with her legs up against his shoulders. Before either of them could finish, Jordan said she wanted to try something, but she was insecure to bring it up. Bucky, lovingly said he wanted to do anything that would bring her pleasure and was always up to trying new things. 

 

That was true, the Sergeant had been up for sex against walls, shower sex, quickie in janitor closets, semi public restroom late evening at a diner and in both of their cars while they were parked in the Avengers section of the huge garage in the middle of the night when they wanted to try something new. She had introduced him into playing with vibrators and dildos on her. He had occasionally tried some vibrators against his dick but said he enjoyed to play with them on her a lot more. 

She looked a bit nervous as she spoke, not meeting his eyes from where they sat close together on their bed. 

“You know we've used toys before? Well, it's a type of toy but it's not inserted where the others have, well, been inserted...” She said awkwardly.

 

Bucky looked like a living question mark but said sure, why not try it. So she went to a bureau and got out a fabric bag in purple and dumped out the four things she had in it. Bucky, again, didn't get exactly what they were used to and picked up the smallest of them and felt it in his human hand and shot her a look.

 

“So, this is lube, not that we have ever needed it...” She saw him smirking a little at her comment and she went on to explain the other seemingly look a like things, just slight difference in size.

 

“It's not a fancy word, but they're butt plugs and I know the name sounds horrible.” She shot him a look but he just looked like he liked when she educated him on these sorts of stuff. “Basically, I thought we could try to have sex and well, instead of any vibrator play...we could try this. On me, well you too if you want to.” She rambled and was silenced by him gently kissing her.

 

He gently pulled away and she looked a bit nervous at him. “I love your butt, and to play with it so let's do it.” He said and she nodded silently in agreement and let him kiss her and lay her down on the bed and helped her relax.

 

When it came to the “show time” Jordan told him to start with the smallest one and to use a lot of lube and to be careful. He kissed her and hummed in agreement as they once again were in missionary, her legs up against his shoulders. He lowered down a bit so he could easily relax her with his fingers, kissing her as he slowly and carefully, with her earlier instructions followed, inserted the toy into her. She moaned at the feeling of having both him in her, his fingers gently rubbing her in a relaxing manner and now the toy. She should feel “filled up” but what she needed was having him closer to her and kissing her like there was no tomorrow. 

She gently pulled him down to deepen the kisses with a lot more tongue as she enjoyed this new feeling. After a short while of having to adjust to everything, Bucky began playing gently with moving in and out of her, matching his pace with how he played with the toy. She was soon screaming his name, biting his shoulder and scratchings his back due to the intense pleasure. To which he just enjoyed.

….....…..................


	28. Good morning team

After Bucky had come, only a second after she did, they had gotten back to the bathroom and actually succeeded in taking a shower to clean up their mess. Jordan took a lot longer than Bucky to get clean, so in the mean time as she was finishing up her shower, Bucky wrapped a towel around his hips and got the dirty sheets and threw them in the laundry basket and headed over to the laundry room that laid around the corner and the furthers from the room, so no one would be disturbed by the many washing machines and driers. 

Once he got the laundry going he went back to their room and from a section in their shared closet got out some fresh sheets and made the bed just in time for Jordan to open the door to the bathroom dressed in stretchy comfy grey jeans, dark socks and a red flannel that she was in the middle of rolling up the sleeves on. 

She smiled at him at seeing him fixing up their mess with fresh sheets and placed a kiss to his back as she walked up to the bed to check her phone that laid on her side table. 

 

“Oh fuck.” She muttered at seeing the texts.

 

“What's wrong?” Bucky, friendly asked her as he finished up with the bed.

 

“Steve's been texting me non stop since 7:10 and it's now 11:30. I was supposed to train with him today since Sam had to leave for DC.” She answered him and showed the long list of texts that Steve had sent her. The last one had come just four minuets ago.

 

“Don't mind him, he'll understand that sometimes you're late and that's life.” He told her casually, small smile on his lips and gave her a quick kiss as he passed her to get to the wardrobe and started to get dressed in dark jeans and a red Henley shirt, with black socks.

She had to turn away when he dropped his towel and began to get dressed in boxers as she knew she would climb him like a tree if she saw his dick one more time.

 

“Yeah, but four hours is not late, it's are they even still alive-late.” She told him, peeking over her shoulder and saw he was putting on jeans and turned back to face him.

 

“Just say that you had something better to do than to workout this morning and you can still work out now or later today.” Bucky suggested friendly. She looked at him and couldn't help but smile a little at him.  
…....................

Once Bucky got fully dressed they left their room to get some early lunch from the kitchen. As they entered the kitchen they saw Clint give Nat a twenty, they had probably had a bet on when the couple would leave their room for the day. Bucky ignored them and offered to make some sandwiches, which Jordan nodded and smiled at him as he got to work and she sat down next to Clint on the only available bar chair at the kitchen island. 

 

“Guess you got your own kind of workout this morning?” Clint couldn't help but tease her.

She rolled her eyes at the man and hit him not too hard in the ribs, making him yelp a little in surprise.

 

“So, any plans for today?” Jordan asked Nat, ignoring Clint who was nagging her about how hard she'd hit him.

 

Nat turned to face her and went on to tell her about how Tony wanted to have a big thing about announcing to the media that she would join the Avengers. 

“So, my plan for today is to make sure you don't kill your uncle.” Nat said friendly to her.

 

“Since the last big, positive thing that happened to my carrier was that I got the Captain title and lost it before I've even had it for a year...yeah, I don't think a public and something big would help my case with joining the team.” Jordan muttered more for herself.

 

Bucky served her sandwich and gave her a glass of water to it. She thanked him and they small talked about how Tony wanted some big celebration for pretty much the tiniest things. Even Clint joined in, now done with complaining about his fake pain. After a while of talking they were joined by Steve.

 

“And what did you do all morning?” Steve asked Jordan friendly.

Bucky had just began to chew on his sandwich as Jordan answered him.

“My fiancé.” She said simply, making Bucky choke due to the surprise honesty on his food and began coughing a bit. 

 

Steve's eyes went a little big, clearly not expecting that answer. Clint laughed a little and Nat just sat there and looked smug and friendly...yet deadly.

 

“Eh...well...” Steve began. “All morning?” He asked like he couldn't really believe it.

 

Bucky had stopped coughing by now and sent his old friend a look. “Why so surprised? It's not like I couldn't have done it all day.” Bucky said a bit defensively.

 

Steve looked to him to Jordan and back to Bucky. “You, yeah, but Jordan? She doesn't have the serum-” 

 

“And I'm right here, so thanks for the past tense...” Jordan shot back.

Steve sent her a apologetic look.

 

“Look, I was fine. I'm twenty-two, I'm in the age where I'm practically supposed to have sex all awaken hours. So really, don't worry about me.” 

 

She met Bucky's eyes, he winked at her and she smiled back. 

“Wh- come one, you need to train.” Steve said to her.

“We all know I get a ton of work out with this guys stamina.” Jordan said to the group before she and Bucky put their empty plates and glasses in the dishwasher and headed back to their room to continue what they had started this morning.

….................


	29. Identity

After the “sex day”, Jordan and Bucky went back to their normal routines with getting up at seven and have breakfast with the team, working out and running, shooting practice. After the full, very exhausting workout, Jordan grabbed a shower and got dressed in the outfit she had the day before, jeans and a red flannel with rolled up sleeves. She always tried to stay busy but now that she had to wait for the others to plan the dinner and she was all alone with her thoughts in the empty kitchen.

She thought back to the Alphas and Coyotes and the same thought was coming back all the time: how much she missed them. She went on to let the thoughts go deeper. They went to how she had been a soldier for four years and that she had fully embraced that as her identity. She felt like since she got fired and told she could never come back to the army that she didn't have an identity and all she wanted was to go back to the base and order the C squad to stop being lazy during push ups.

 

She left the kitchen, tears rolling down her face as she headed to the big living room with huge couches but no tv. However, she wasn't looking for a tv, she needed to get to the bar that that room had against one very long wall. She got behind the bar and got a bottle of fireball

 

She poured up some fireball and took six shots, a vodka shot- she really hates vodka to shot, she found some sweet yet sour thing that she took three shots of. She found a bottle of jack and tried a little in her glass but decided she rather kept to the fireball. 

Almost half the bottle was gone by the time she had gotten up to lay down on the bar disk, on her back with her head towards the entrance to the big room. She laid there, earbuds in her ears and listened to a mix of angry and sad songs and ended up with Imagine Dragons's new song Bad liar as she with closed eyes cried and sang along a bit to the song.

 

“I can't breathe, I can't be  
I can't be what you want me to be  
Believe me, this one time  
Believe me

I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know, now you know  
I'm a bad liar, bad liar  
Now you know, you're free to go”

 

She had high enough volume to not hear that Steve’s asking her how she is, and gently taps her on her arm, he shouldn’t have done that as she was so surprised that she moved too drunk and too quickly so she fell down from the bar disk (Steve was on the other side, not where the alcohol was being kept) and she landed in the sharp rests that belonged to the former fireball bottle that she sometime ago had dropped and not even noticed. She landed hard with her left arm right on the glass and she cries out from the sudden pain. She opens her eyes and sees the blood from her arm and suddenly Steve’s in her line of vision, holding a clean bar towel to kind of stop the bleeding a little. She looks surprised and in pain at him. He removes her earbuds and she can finally hear him.

 

“I called you but you didn’t answer, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m so sorry.” He said, voice full of regret as he carefully helps her to stand up.

 

“‘S fine.” She says and drags out the “e” a bit too long.

 

He gives her a concerned look as they start to head towards the elevator, him practically leading the way as they went to pass the kitchen where the team are now starting to hang out in waiting for dinner.

 

“You’re drunk?” He says it more like a statement but she hiccup and nods a yes anyway.

 

“I lost so much... and I miss them.” She said in a said tone as they now entered the kitchen area.

 

“What happened to your arm?!” Pepper, who never really had time to join the teams dinners had actually made time for this evening and rushed over to the pair with a concern expression on her face.

 

Steve gave the short summary of her fall and told her they needed to get down to the hospital wing. She immediately froze up and didn’t want to come with him. 

 

“Come on, or you’ll bleed out.” Steve told her, now Bucky joining in as well with telling her she needed to get it checked out. There were still a lot of glass pieces sticking out of her arm.

 

She shook her head and stood her ground as the team tried to talk her into going with Steve.

“You don’t get it.” She told him more clearly now.

 

Steve sighed. “Get what?” He asked, he could easily pick her up and go but neither him or any on the team wanted to piss of a drunk and injured Jo.

 

“I lost both of my squads and I can never see them ever again. I lost two extended families. All I want to do is go back and boss over the Coyotes but I can’t! Do you know how much that hurts?!” She exclaimed.

 

“I’m nothing without the army. I’ve been a soldier my entire adult life and I don’t want another identity!” 

 

“Jo,” Steve began but she cut him off.

 

“I don’t want to become a spy, agent or a hero. All I want is to go back to be a soldier. I don’t even care about my Captain title, I just want to go back!” 

 

“Jo, they just need some time for this to cool down. I’m sure you can go back to it in a few years.” Steve tried to calm her. She looked even angrier at him at hearing this.

 

“A few years? To hope that something might happen? You’re so full of shit, Rogers. You didn’t wait for years so don’t tell me to!” She snapped at him.

 

Jordan didn’t like to get angry at Steve, because he was a great guy and always looked out for everyone and she the few times they argued, she felt like the bad guy. Steve sighed and hung a little with his head.

 

“You’re right, but how about we continue this conversation down in the hospital wing.” He said friendly and gestured to her arm.

 

She followed his eyes and looked down to the former white towel she had wrapped around her arm that had turned red from all the blood. She looked up to him, a sort of empty look in her eyes as she shrugged a little.

 

“It doesn't really bother me, and if I lost my arm I can just get a prosthetic.” She said like she talked about throwing away old cloths, in her cold voice.

 

“What actually bothers me is that my entire carrier is ruined and it's my own fault and I fucking hate it.” 

 

“Jo...please, you're losing a lot of blood.” Bucky told her gently.

 

“Urgh, fine...” Jo muttered and followed Steve into the elevator.  
…...............

They got back soon after getting rid of all the glass that had made its way into her arm and she'd gotten it stitched up and bandaged. They wanted her to wear a sling so of course the entire way back to the common floor she argued with Steve about not needing it. Once they joined the others at the dining table Steve sent her a disapproving look and with Bruce now joining in to tell her she should have the sling she muttered to herself but put it back on. 

 

“Jo, what's going on? I thought you wanted to join the team?” Tony asked her.

 

“Sure...it's just not my first choice, that's all.” She answered honestly.

 

“But you're joining?” Wanda asked her friendly.

 

“Yeah.” She said friendly.

 

“So....the drinking, is that gonna be a problem, with you know, missions?” Tony asked her gently.

 

She gave him a tired look. “And that comes from you. Wow...no. It was a one time thing I day drank.”

 

“Just needed to ask. Anyway, what do you like best: Black or blue?” Tony asked her.

 

“Green, camouflaged.” She answered him and he rolled his eyes at her answer but muttered a “Fine.”

 

After dinner some were playing tv games and the rest sat in the big couch group and just talked. Jordan was still pissed at Steve and sat as far away from him as possible, using Bucky, Pepper and Vision as shields. He had tried to talk to her but she shut him down. 

 

Bucky suddenly nudged her gently, gaining her attention. “What do you wanna do for Christmas?” He asked her friendly.

“Sleep, watch movies and outdrink Thor.” She answered. 

 

He gave her a look like he knew that couldn't be all. “Fine, snowboarding.” She said in a whisper, even Bucky had a hard time to hear it. He didn't get to ask her anymore questions since she fell asleep resting against him where they sat on the couch, probably exhausted from the emotional melt down, the drinking and the blood loss. 

 

….......….............


	30. Break time

“Great news team, we're going to Italy, the alps for Christmas. So got your skis and get your bags packed cause we're leaving in an hour.” Tony announced to the team, that had just woken up and sat and had breakfast.

 

“Why? I mean, if it's just for skiing we got ski slopes outside the city.” Jordan asked her uncle.

 

“Because your fiancee told me you wanted to go snowboarding and I'm making it a team vacation. Since we could really use one.” He smiled to her slight surprised smile.

 

“It actually sounds like a pretty great idea. I'm in! Though, I don't have a snowboard anymore since I outgrew my old one.” Jordan said and her smile faded.

 

“Just go pack your bags and meet me in the garage.” Tony informed the team.

 

They just nodded, finished up their breakfasts and headed to their rooms to get packed before going down to the garage.  
….............

Tony had gotten all the equipment for the team when it came to a fun week skiing in the alps, from the ski outfits, helmets, glasses to skis and snowboards. It turned out Natasha, Clint, Bucky and Jordan were to only ones that were gonna ski and snowboarding, as the others kept to the skis. 

 

“You remembered!” Jordan exclaimed to Tony and Pepper in seeing the outfit they had put together for her, a orange jacket and turquoise/blue pants with a black helmet and blue glass with a blue frame.

 

They smiled at how excited she looked as she saw the clothes. “Yeah, you used to love the outfit similar to this one when you were younger and I thought it would be a safe shot.” Pepper told her and she gave the woman a warm smile as she nodded in agreement.

 

“And we got you this. Now, I know it's not like the blue green one you once had, but I hope you'll like it.” Tony told her and moved to reveal her board and her shoes.

 

She dropped her jaw a little at seeing the board. It was all white with streaks of green here and there, resembling glow in the dark paint and in the middle, between where she'd strap on her shoes, was the Alphas insignia of a wolf painted professionally in black. Her shoes were also white and matched the board completely, though there was no wolf on them.

 

“I can't believe you did this, since you've never liked me being in the army. I love it.” She said in a low, a bit of a emotion in her voice. 

 

“I'm still proud off what you accomplished.” Tony told her friendly and made her smile to him before she gave him a hug.

 

“Oh my god. Friday, I want a recoding of this.” Jordan just laughed at how ridiculous he could be the few times she decided to hug him and let him go a moment later.

 

“Who's ready to go?” Pepper asked the team and everyone cheered and they got all their stuff and got going.

…............

Italy. 

Tony had rented a big house with two floors that had seven big bathrooms, a indoor pool, a separate jacuzzi and a huge living room with big couches and love-sacks and a huge tv mounted on the wall right above the fireplace. Everyone except for Tony, Pepper, Jordan, Bucky, Wanda and Vision had their own single rooms, and the couples each got a huge bed in each a pretty large room.

 

Jordan jumped to land on the big, soft bed and posed with a arm on the bed and bent to hold her head up in a sexy way. She gave her fiancee a flirty look as she said “Do me like one of your french girls.” in a way too seductive tone that made Bucky laugh as he put their bags near the wall opposite from where the bed stood, a wall long wardrobe. 

 

He smiled as he had left the bag and walked up to her and gave her a kiss, still standing next to the bed.

“How about we unpack before we start that.” He suggested. 

She tugged a little on his shirt and got another kiss form him before she got up from the bed and helped him unpack their stuff and put in the wardrobe and out away their bags to not bee seen in the wardrobe as well.

After unpacking they didn't even have time to close the door as Bruce showed up and told them that Tony wanted them all in the living room. They shrugged and followed the man to the living room. She pulled Bucky to sit on a love-sack and sat down close to him and snuggled into his embrace as he put a arm around her. 

 

“So, the ski lifts open up at eight so if everyone gets up around seven and have breakfast and gets ready we'll get there in time and not miss any ski time. Sounds good?” Tony asked and got some agreeable sounds and nods from the team and aunt May, since Tony had invited both Peter and his aunt so she wouldn't be too worried about the teenager. 

 

He went ahead to inform them that dinner would be ready in about an hour and left to presumably, annoy Pepper and Wanda in the kitchen. Peter, that had been sitting in a couch, got up and sat down next to Jordan, on the edge of the love-sack as he spoke excitingly about going skiing the next day, not caring about how close she and Bucky sat and it was pretty clear they didn't want someone to sit next to them.

 

“You sure are excited.” Jordan said in a friendly tease to her friend.

“Of course I am. I've just been skiing a few times but never in the alps, that's exciting. Aren't you excited?” He asked her.

 

“Yeah, though it was years since I actually snowboarded so I'll be in the kid area and try not to fall too many times so I break my ass.”

 

Peter and Bucky laughed at her teasing joke. “You'll probably be fine.” Peter told her friendly.

 

“I hope so.” She said honestly not knowing whether she would or not.

 

“You're a legitimate badass, shouldn't get into the Special ops be a lot harder than snowboarding?” Peter asked her friendly.

 

“Don't forget I was Captain too, for a little while, but still. I'm very badass.” She answered him and smirked a little.

 

“You're almost as badass as you are cute.” Bucky said in a sweet tone to her and gave her heart eyes.

 

“You know I can easily kill you in your sleep, right?” She said in a fake threat and just made them all laugh and he smiled to her.

 

“That's why I love you.” He said in a loving voice to her.

 

“Because I can tell you to drop down and give me ten?” She said with humor in her voice.

He shook his head a no, still smiling. “That. Your humor, your confidence and just you being you.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him but let a smile slowly show. She shook her head a little as she gently bit down gently on her lower lip at how he could always surprise her by being so sweet to her that she couldn't stop the smiles that would always come, no matter how hard she tried to hold it back.

 

“Mmm.” Bucky made a low sound at her biting her lip, gently tugged in her shirt which made her close in so he could kiss her. She happily kissed him back and ended up smiling into the kiss, which led to them breaking it up.

 

“Let's go take a look at the snowmobiles.” Jordan said to Bucky but her eyes obviously hinted to something else. 

 

Bucky smirked a little to her and nodded. They got up from the love- sack and he followed her towards their room, only to be stopped by Peter's voice and turn back to face the teen.

 

“Hey, it's this way. Come on, I wanna learn how to drive one.” He said innocently to them.

 

“How about later? We gotta go-”

“Fuck?” Sam interrupted her and she sent him a “shut up” look.

 

“Oh, but can't that wait. The snowmobiles?” Peter asked a bit awkwardly.

 

Jordan started to feel Bucky's hand go towards her ass and she immediately knew she really wanted and needed him right then. 

 

“Sorry P, but we can take a look at them tomorrow.” She told him friendly but with a hint of firmness.


	31. Italy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, i didn't think i would be doing this twist like at all but it was cute so here you go.... hope you'll like it :)

Chapter 31  
A few days later.

They went snowboarding and skiing for a few days and one afternoon before sunset they decided to go snowmobiling and the couple went ahead of the group to do some crazy stunts and tricks and jumps with the snowmobiles.

 

“Let's get married now.”

She looks over her shoulder as she tells Bucky. They had just finished a pretty big jump with the snowmobile, that Bucky was driving and she was in the front, his arms securely around her as he was driving to a stop to wait for the rest of the team to get caught up with them.

 

“Now?” He asked, she could see the smile forming on his lips, even with full on ski gear on. She nodded a eager yes.

 

“I started thinking about it yesterday and got Pepper to go on one of those websites that makes you able to marry people. Also, everyone is already here and the sunset here is beautiful and I need a new wallpaper for my phone. So it's all good to go.” She told him as the others caught up to them.

 

Bucky smiled big and nodded a yes to her before kissing her. It was kind of problematic with their ski glasses in the way. They laughed and he removed his before kissing her properly. 

“I'm in.” He whispered to her and made both of them smile big.

 

“Guys, come on. We're here to ride the snowmobiles, not to see you two make out.” Bruce teased them friendly. They just smiled to him.

 

“So, where to now, the top? Well, as close to the top as we can get.” Natasha asked from where she drove up next to them with aunt May sitting behind her, Tony had made sure to invite Peter and his aunt. 

 

“Sounds good, let me just get the drones so we can get that movie shot of the snowmobiles.” Tony said and let go of the steerings with a hand as he talked to Friday in his watch before retaking the steerings and with Pepper holding onto his waist, he drove up and took the lead.  
….........

 

They had just gotten up to as close to the top as possible, just standing there and looking out at the incredible view that was almost breathtaking. The real winter wonderland and nature was truly amazing. Jordan turned to look at Bucky and took his hand in hers, making him turn his head to look at her and smile. She melted at seeing him smile like that, like she was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him, that she was one of the most important people he had. He gently squeezed her hand and she smiled back to him before he lowered his head to kiss her.

 

“Sure?” He asked her in a whisper once they broke apart.

“I'm sure.” She whispered back, smiling to him as he cleared his throat and made some of the others to turn and face the couple.

 

“So we have some news-” Bucky began but was interrupted by Tony.

 

“No! You can't be pregnant! No way!” Tony exclaimed, truly thinking that was the news, making everyone turn to see what was going on.

 

Jordan began to laugh and Bucky smiled and just shook his head. “You thought- oh my god, no way I'd ever do that. I'm just marrying this sexy beast. Today.” She told her uncle friendly as she calmed down from laughing.

 

“Today? That's not enough time to plan a wedding!” Tony said, looking relived that she was not having a kid.

 

“I mean today, like right now. We already got what we need: Pepper with her magic website as a sort of honor priest or whatever it's called... a great view and we don't need to wait until the team's all together again in hell knows how long. So, why not?” She told him friendly.

 

“You don't have a dress?” Tony more said than asked.

“I could be dressed in army clothes, I really don't care what me or anyone else wears.” 

 

“But-”

 

“Tony, come on. She really wants this, and me too for that matter. Isn't that the only important thing?” Bucky asked him and made the man go quiet and nod in agreement. 

 

“Ah! We got a wedding, let's get moving!” Tony, already in celebration mood cheered, making them smile and some laughed at how ridiculous the man could.

 

“First, I gotta come clean about something.” Jordan had moved to face her fiancee and looked him seriously into his eyes. Bucky looked like he'd expect something bad.

 

She took a deep breath before she began. “I will always, ALWAYS, think Channing Tatum is fucking sexy as hell and if I'd get to meet him someday and it'd be fine for him... I would really like to get squished like a tomato if I get to hug him. So you know if I die from that, I'll die happy.”

 

Bucky began laughing and nodded to her to show he was fine with it. 

 

“You're so damn weird, but fine. If Channing makes ketchup out of you, I won't end his pretty ass.” He laughed after reassuring her.

 

She smiled big to him. “Thanks. Now, wanna go marry this weirdo before the sun sets completely?”

 

“Hell yeah.” He said, smiling big to her and she matched his smile right back to him as they turned to let Tony and Wanda get everyone into some sort of normal wedding positions.

 

The couple ended up standing closes to the view as Nat said the drones would get them some great video and pictures, with Pepper in front of them smiling as she began talking about how happy she was they were finally at this stage. 

 

“Have you prepared any vows?” She asked them.

 

“Um, let's just wing it.” Jordan said and Bucky, chuckling a little nodded in agreement.

 

“Jo, why don't you start.”

 

Jordan took a deep breath and tried to only focus on Bucky as she spoke.

 

“I love you. I have never said those words to anyone, romantically anyway, but that's what I think about every day. Everything between you going crazy at the gym, you doing that damn smirk of yours that makes me melt, to every time you're half asleep half awake and cuddle up close to me... “ She saw him try not to tear up too much and smiled gently to him before she continued.

 

”I love you and I used to think, mostly due to me not having the greatest upbringing and spending all my time for years around guys that was really not into having relationships, that to have someone love you was a weakness. I'm really glad you made me think differently because I really don't know what I would do without you.”

 

Pepper smiled and told Bucky gently that it was his turn. He took a breath before he started, always looking at Jordan.

 

“Jo...” He began softly.

“You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even if you started of as a slight crazy fan the first time we met.” He said with humor in his voice and she laughed to it and smiled friendly to him. They could hear the team be amused by his light teasing.

 

“You're amazing, only 22 and you've already been in Special ops and been a Captain in command. I can only hope you'll like the title as my wife half as much.” He said and smiled to her nodding, smiling back to him.

 

“I love you, so damn much.” He finished softly to her.

 

Pepper smiled to them and took over and soon they had both said 'I do'. 

 

“By the power vested in me by evenyoucandoit.com, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Pepper said and they could hear a a few excited sounds from the team that made the couple laugh.

“You may kiss now.”

 

They where already moving closer to each other and soon they shared the perfect wedding kiss...and a few more, since you only marry your one true love once, right? 

 

They were smiling big to each other as they after a while broke apart. Only for her to hug him, making him smile if possible, even bigger as he hugged her back. She looked up to him and kissed him again, making him having to bend his head down to meet her lips.

 

“We did it!” She whispered with excitement in her voice.

 

“Yes we did.” He said with love in his voice.

 

They had to turn around to let the drones get a shot of them before the team came up and they were alla hugging and smiling.


	32. old friend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just me having fun with this story, let me know if you have any suggestions!

They got back from the ski and wedding trip January 4rd, having spent both Christmas and New Years in Italy and just having a great vacation with lots of skiing, relaxing and for the newly wedded couple, a lot of alone time...

 

Once home, she got surprised by the C squad standing around on the common floor, dressed in normal everyday clothes. They all smiled big and greeted her cheerfully. She looked surprised at them and goes to stand in front of them.

 

“Guys, you know you’re not supposed to be seeing me. No matter where I just happen to be.” She told tell friendly.

 

“It would be weird if we weren’t allowed to see our Captain.” Jones, a tall, dark haired man said and smirked a bit to her chocked smile.

 

“I get to come back?” She asked in a almost whisper.

 

The squad laughed friendly at her surprised tone. ”Yes. With the old general gone we got a new one that actually saw that you helped bring out the best in us.” Gabe told her.

 

“Captain.” Jones added and made a army greeting, making her tear up a bit.

 

“I’ve missed you all so much!” She tells them as she hugs Jones and Gabe and the rest of the squad made it into a short group hug. Once she was free from the hug she had to dry off some tears and smiled at her squad.

 

“We’ve also got you another surprise.” Gabe said and soon she felt someone tap on her left shoulder and she spun around to stare at the person with big eyes and jaw hanging down to the floor.

 

The man were a head taller than her, with black short cut hair in a modern stylish way and he wore black jeans and a white buttoned up shirt with rolled up sleeves to his elbows. The familiar man smiled big to her and she felt her tears come rolling down her face in a way she knew she couldn’t control them even if she wanted to.

 

“Jordan. It’s been a long time.” He spoke in that deep, familiar voice she had almost forgot how it sounded and she closed her mouth and gave him a bear hug and felt his strong arms around her, returning the hug.

 

“But you- I saw-“ Jordan stuttered and nodded bye to the squad as they left to disappear into a elevator to head home.

 

She looked back to the man and took a deep breath. “I know. The bad guys got me and did some freaky stuff and well... here I am.” She squeezed him a bit as she hugged him.

 

“They resurrected you?” She asked as she let him go and looked him over to see if she could see anything new about her old best friend but all there was was a few small scars on his face.

 

“I guess that’s one word for it. I would just call it that they sew me back up and jump started my heart.”

“Matt... I should have found you. I went back and-“

 

“You did everything you could and should have. I was gone so there really wasn’t any reason for you to spend more time in that hell hole.” Matt said as he interrupted her.

 

“I wanted to find your body at least. I should have...” She said, hanging a bit with her head.

 

“You know what our commander used to say, that it was more important to do our missions right and not spend time looking for bodies.” Matt said more gently to her and got her to look back up at him. She let out a shaky breath.

 

“What happened to you? Did they make you half cyborg or fill you up with weird drugs?”

 

“No, there were actually just one of those wanna be HYDRA fans and he was, with lack of better words, nice. He just got me back from zombie land and then dropped me off at our old General’s office. He sent me to a off the grid SHIELD team and that’s where I’ve been for the past seven months.”

 

“Oh Matt, I am so sorry. If he had let me know you were back I would have been more than happy to add you to the squad. It could have been like old times.” He smiled a nostalgic smile to her.

 

“Yeah, we always did work pretty well together.” He said and moved a bit closer to her.

 

With all their work history, she didn’t even think about having him a few inches away from her as they had to be close to each other on so many old missions.

 

“Maybe because you were the first one to be nice and not sexist towards me.” She said and smiled to him.

 

He smiled back and as she blinked she missed him closing in and suddenly she felt his lips on hers. She immediately heard some disapproving sounds from the team. She, immediately as she felt him kissing her, pushed him away from her and made him look rather dumbstruck at her angry glares.

 

“Whoa, you know that’s probably the worst thing you could ever do to me! How long-?” He let out a deep sigh as he backed away a step.

 

“A while, since we started training together, right before the Alphas...” he admitted and hung a bit with his head.

 

“No!” She exclaimed like she could undo his used to be feelings. “ Why didn’t you tell me back then!?”

 

“Because I knew you just wanted to focus on work and I wanted you to get in the squad and not let me distract you. I really wish I could have told you back then...”

 

“Ignore the fact that I got married three days ago, I never liked you that way. If I had, I would have made a move but... you were my best friend and that’s all.”

 

“You got married?! But you talked so much shit about marriage and that you’d rather do hook ups than relationships. Who made you change your mind about all that?”

 

“That would be me.” Matt went quiet at seeing Bucky walk up a bit closer to where they stood next to the kitchen island.

 

Jordan could see him tensing up as he stood a bit straighter as Bucky cane to a stop to stand next to her. Matt turned after a moment to look at her.

 

“You married the former Winter Soldier!?” He asked, a hard look on his face.

“Matt!-“

“A former assassin!?”

“Are we any better!?” She surprised both the men with exclaiming, making them look at her.

 

“You know as well as I that our orders were fucking horrible. Actually, we’re way worse than Bucky being brain washed and tricked into shit, we CHOSE to listen and act on our orders. So don’t you ever give him shit for something he couldn’t control.”

 

“Jordan, we had a amazing commander but yes, I agree with you that he could give us some pretty nauseating orders. But we didn’t spend 70 years doing them.”

 

”Matt, I’m gonna play nice with you since you just got back from the dead and apparently have forgotten about me not taking any bullshit from anyone.” She said and glared hard at him.

 

“Either you accept that I’ve moved on and you decide to just be my friend. Or, you leave right now and I will never see you again.”

 

“Are you happy?” He surprised her by asking friendly.

“Yes. I am.” She smiled a little as she shot a look to Bucky.

 

”Okay, that’s all I need to know. Guess I should get back to using Tinder and all those kinds of apps.” He said with humor in his voice.

 

She had looked back to him and gave him a gentle smile as Bucky left them alone to sit in the couch group with the rest of the team.

 

“Matt, losing you and the squad... that was the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through.” He gave her a soft look at hearing this.

 

“All I wanted was to talk about it with you but I couldn’t and it sucked so much. It was hard not having you around after all those years of constantly having to deal with you whining about missing your precious tv shows.” He smiled at her at the last part.

 

“And you were constantly trying to show off and hold us at gunpoint if we said you and Tony were anything alike.” He teased her friendly.

 

She crossed her arms and gave him a cocky look.

“I dare you.”

He just smirked a bit and nodded to her stance.

“You’re both crazy and would probably do anything to help if it was needed.”

 

“Fine, I’ll let you have that one but only because you don’t know about my slight drinking problem”

 

“Really? You? Should I look up any AA for you to join?”

 

“Ha ha, you fucking asshole.”

“No, I get it. After everything that’s happened it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.”

 

“Did I tell you that you’re really annoying and I regret missing you?” She teased him.

 

“Oh, Jordan, you can’t start flirting with me when your husband’s right over there!” He teased her back.

She laughed and he joined in. “You’re so weird. I’ve missed you so fucking much.” She said and gave him a bear hug. He hugged her back.

 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled to her before she broke away from the hug.

 

“You got shot so, so many times... you don’t have to apologize to me for that.”

 

“No, everything. Well that too. But also that I acted like a asshole trying to kiss you like that. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t punch me.”

 

“Watch it Reed. I’m not out of practice the way you are.” She told him and smirked cocky to him.

 

“Oh, you mean like not having a active sex life and having to work up the alcohol tolerance again?” He said and smirked to her.

 

“You’re already back to working out? And I bet you can get anyone to sleep with you.” At his pointed lol to her she added “Well not me, I’ve got pretty high standards.”

 

“Yeah, haven't really had anything else to do for a while now. And yeah, I can get probably anyone on Tinder with just mentioning I’m in the army. Though that could backfire like last time..”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Apparently it’s a turn on for women to see me in my army clothes. It was not a turn on for me.”

 

“So when are you joining my squad?”

 

“I didn’t know you would just add me without seeing that I can actually do the work.”

 

“We can find out here, they’ve got a really good gym and gun rage as well as other things we can use to find out how much out of practice you are.”

 

“You just wanna see me shirtless.” He joked to her.

 

“Not needed, Friday can you please scan Privet Matt Reed, I wanna know if he’s got anything added while he was MIA.”

 

“Scanning successful.” Friday said after letting a blue light move up and down over Matt’s body for a moment.

 

“He’s more than healthy enough and healed up to go back to the army. Nothing is added except a few bullet wounds and scars on his upper body. I cannot find anything strange in his blood levels.”

 

“Thanks Friday.” Jordan said and Matt gave her a ‘what the hell just happened’ look.

 

“Did the AI just check me out? Should I feel violated? Because I sort of do...”

 

“Stop fucking around and let’s hit the gym. I wanna know if you’ll survive more than five minutes this time.”

 

“Not fair! I was covering your back since you got drugged. If I had left you earlier I would probably have not died.”

 

“Thanks.”

“Wait, you’re actually thanking me for making sure you didn’t get kidnapped?” She nodded a yes to him.

 

“Look, I know we mostly back then joked around and deep talk is not our thing, but really, I have no idea if I would still be alive if you hadn’t done what you did. Also, I’m not giving you a break with your audition.”

 

He smiled and they went to hit the gym where he got a perfect score in all the try outs and the two friends got into easy conversation and joked around with each other like old times.  
…................

 

As it was getting late, the two best friends sat down with the team in the big white couch group and sassed each other pretty hardcore but the team let them be as both were smiling.

 

“I’m confused. Am I suppose to dislike you for kissing my wife or like you since I’ve never seen her smile this much, in like ever.” Bucky said and the two friends turned to focus on him.

 

“Who said I like him, he’s annoying and cocky.” Jordan said teasingly.

Matt shot her a raised eyebrow. “Yeah and now she’s my boss, who even likes their boss?”

 

“Ey! I’m the best boss ever. I haven’t lost any in my squad.”

 

“Yet.” He teased back.

“Shut the fuck up, Reed.” She said and shook her head a little at him, smiling a little.

 

“I’m really sorry about before. I’ve sort of lived under a rock for a while and had no idea you two were together.” Matt said in a more serious tone to the couple and turned his focus to Bucky as he continued.

 

“I really hope you’ll start to somewhat like me, cause man, you’re pretty badass.” He said and smiled to Bucky, who smirked a little.

 

“Let me guess, like Jo, you signed up because of Steve and me?”

 

“Yeah. I never understood why, until I read more about you and it just clicked. Now I can’t see myself doing any other job.”

 

“Even though you fucking DIED!”

 

“Aren’t Stark’s supposed to NOT be party poopers?” Matt asked her and saw Tony nod in agreement to his comment.

 

“And you just hired me, so...”

“We don’t even know when our next tour is and I just got rehired a few moments before you did.”

 

“About that, you? Being a Captain?”

She gave him a nervous smile. 

“You said you would rather get thrown into a active volcano than to get a title.”

 

“Yes, I did say that...” She said and ignored the looks she got from the team.

 

“But after I lost you and the Alphas, I had to get Bucky and Steve to help me so the General would even take a moment to listen to me and my plan. After that it just seemed like it would be easier if I just agreed to get the title and I wouldn't need anyone’s help to be heard.”

 

“Sounds like you. Remember that time your gun acted up and I offered to fix it for you? You punched me so hard you broke my nose.”

 

“Yeah and I had to get a new gun since mine had sort of self destructed itself on the inside.” She said and gave him a small sorry smile.

 

“Sorry about your nose by the way, I was aiming for your ribs but then you sat down...”

 

“Not the only time you've punched or injured me. Training and sparring with you is no joke.”

 

“What’s the worst injury she’s caused you?” Nat asked and made Jordan smirk a little.

 

“Oh um... I.” Matt said and looked a bit uncomfortable as he continued. “That’s got to be the time she landed a very hard kick to my crotch and it resulted in me having to take a few weeks off since she broke my dick!”

 

“It healed!” She said a bit defensively, getting a slight glare from him.

“Wait, you broke his dick?” Clint asked, amused.

“Yes...” She said and looked like she regretted it.

 

“It made a loud snap sound and I was on the ground the next second, yelling at her. Turned out it was a bad sprain kind of injury. It took closer to a month before I was back and I avoided her for the first week.” He said and liked to her.

 

“Again, it healed and you got so much more injured the time when my parachute didn’t work and I crashed into you and broke three of your ribs.”

 

“Yeah, but I did save your life so it didn’t feel as horrible as my dick injury.” He told her friendly.

 

She just stuck out her tongue at him in a childish manner, making him laugh a bit.

 

“And you’re supposed to be my boss?” He asked teasingly to her.

“Yes, I am much better than you at getting shit done.”

 

“Well you did get the C squad to raise their bar by a impressively lot. I never thought they would get to leave the base.”

 

“So, good job Cap.” He told her friendly.

“Uh-uh, the “Cap” is Steve’s. You can call me by my name.”

 

“Ay ay Captain?” She gave him a eye roll.

 

“Captain Stark?” To that she gave him a agreeable mumble.

 

“It feels so weird, but still kinda right after all the hard work you’ve put into the job.” He told her friendly.

 

“Stop being nice to me, you dickhead. You’re supposed to be the annoying best friend who tease me about, well, everything.” She told him and made him laugh a bit.

 

“Sorry, But I did miss a lot of time with you.” 

 

“Yeah, like the fact that I joined the team and worked like one mission with them.” She said and nodded to the team members that sat in the couch group, talking a bit to each other.

 

“But, how does that work with you going back to Special ops?” Matt asked her.

 

“Steve!” Jordan called across to the other couch where Steve sat and turned to focus on her, pausing his conversation with Vision.

 

“I quit and rejoining the army, also I scratched your car before we left for Italy.”

 

“You what? Why didn’t you say anything earlier? And I already guessed you weren’t staying.” He said the last part a lot friendlier.

 

“Because I had Friday fix it and your car should be good as new by now.”

 

“Then why did you tell me when you could have gotten away with it?” Steve asked her.

 

“Because I’ve known you since I was a teenager and you’ve got the whole ‘be honest’ crap stuck in my head. Also, I don't wanna lie to you.”

 

“Well, I appreciate that you told me and be careful next time you’re around my car.” He said friendly to her.

 

“Can we circle back to the fact that she broke your dick?” Sam asked, intrigued and made her laugh and Matt to chuckle a little.

 

“It was back when we were both new to the army and had just been there a few weeks. We hit it off pretty fast but Jordan said she wasn't there to make friends and decided to go HARD when we were sparring.”

 

“I also had put up with a lot of looks and people whispering behind my back and I was done with it. So, I was pissed and just happened to take it out on Matt's crotch.”

 

“After the hit and me laying on the ground for a second, thinking I was dying, the rest of the newbies got quiet and no one wanted to spar against her after finding out she broke my dick.” Matt added.

 

“I did apologies to you.” She said in a matter of fact tone.

 

“Yes, in private when I was at the hospital. They probably still think you hate me or something.” He said and gave her a eye roll.

 

“Why would you still be friends with her after that?” Peter asked him.

“It was either that or be all alone. None of the others liked me since I talked about pretty much everything and nothing and they found it annoying. Sure, I was pissed at her for a while but I also used to have a huge crush on her back in the day.”

 

“Oh, right..” Peter said, remembering earlier that day when Matt tired to kiss her.

 

“And I decided to always wear a cup whenever we were training.” Matt added and smiled a bit.

 

“So, Matt.” Tony said and sat down on the armrest, right next to where Matt sat at the end of the couch.

“Did she ever mention me or the team in the beginning of her career?” He asked the man friendly.

 

“Um, just because I was her best friend back then doesn't mean she would talk about family and you know, emotional stuff with me. We most of the time joked and sassed each other so we wouldn't have to think about all the what if's that comes with the job.” Matt said friendly to him.

 

“Ouch Jo, you didn't even mention me once?” Tony asked, looking fake hurt.

 

“I was the only woman with those newbies and I had to give them as little reason as possible to think less of me than they already did. I couldn't risk not getting into Special ops with talking about you or the team.”

 

“How about now, you're ever gonna let your squad know you got married?” Bucky asked her friendly.

 

She shrugged and got a look from him. “What? My relationship status doesn't tell them anything about how well I will do my job. I don't see why that matters.”

 

“It's not like you would lose anything by telling them.” Bucky told her, still friendly.

 

“Barnes, drop it.” She said calmly to him.

 

“You're already Captain, again and-”

“And I want to keep my job just like that, mine. I've come so far by keeping my private life private and you already know I'm working through my commitment issues...” She said and let out a deep sigh as she met his eyes.

 

“So you're saying...?” Bucky asked her gently.

 

“When it comes to work, sure, you're a big reason why I signed up but it's all me now why I still want to be there and if I told them, not just that I'm married, but who I married... you know that won't end well for anyone.” 

 

“...You feel like I somehow would get the cred you deserve?” He said and got a nod from her.

 

He let out a deep breath and gave her a soft look. “That shouldn't happen. They know you do everything yourself, just because I was there to help out with a few things-”

 

“That's just why. You're not just some used to be soldier, you were there and I couldn't have gotten anything done if you and Steve hadn't helped me out. I never even got any cred from this new General...” She said.

 

“What? He called me and Bucky yesterday, that's how we could set up so you got to meet the squad and Matt.” Steve said and frowned a bit.

 

“See... no one cares about me when you two are already mentioned...” Jordan said and sunk back into the couch as she sighed.

 

“Get over it already, Stark.” She shot Matt a questioning eyebrow.

 

“I spent everyday for years training and working next to you. I know better than anyone you deserve a hell of a lot more cred than you get, but I also know that you don't really give a fuck about what anyone thinks about you. So, get over it and just do your goddamn job.”

 

“Coming from you, lazy couch potato?” She said and gave him a cocky eyebrow.

 

“You're the boss.” He said and gave her a look like 'I'm waiting for you to put me to work'.

 

“Yeah, this boss needs about six tequila shots and a hell of a lot of beer before I get a hold of the new General to check what the hell we're supposed to wait for.” She sighed out.

 

“And I'm calling the AA and let them know you're joining first thing tomorrow.” Matt teased her.

 

“I don't ” She said as she hit his upper arm. “Have” she hit him a little bit harder this time. “A drinking problem.”

 

“No, you have a problem with hitting your employees.” He said and stopped hiding under his arms as she had stopped hitting him.

 

“Did you get beat up by a girl?” Clint teased him but went quiet at seeing her sharp look.

 

“Oh dude, you're fucked now.” Matt said and made some of the team members chuckle.

 

“I didn't mean- Jo, you know I know you're a badass.” Clint said a bit nervous at her sharp look.

 

“I may be a girl, but don't think your precious bows and arrows are safe for that.” She said in a warning to him.

 

“You wouldn't dare touch them. You know, I've never been given a reason to really show you my agent skills but this might just do it...” Clint warned her. She didn't break the eye contact as she glared back to him.

 

“Honey, come on it's just Clint.” Bucky told her gently and she blinked and went from hard glaring to almost looking innocent as she had a much nicer look in her eyes now and got a bit more comfortable where she sat on the couch.

 

“You- how did you do that?” Matt asked Bucky, looking chocked at how quickly he could get her to back off a possible fight.

“I've had to drag her away when she gives people that look, it almost always starts a fight.” Matt added.

 

Bucky shrugged and smiled a little as he continued. “She just happens to like to listen to me, sometimes. I used to help her when she first got diagnosed with PTSD and I guess it gave me another good enough reason to give me a shot and listen to me.”

 

“All that boring stuff and add the part were you're ridiculously sexy and I know that the less fights I cause, the bigger is my chance of getting to sleep with you.” She said and winked to her husband.

 

Bucky let out a breath for a laugh at her comment and wrapped a arm around her where she sat next to him on the couch. 

 

“...Well, I guess it's still a way to handle your anger management issues..” He said to her and she just smiled up to him and he proceeded in giving her a kiss on top of her head.

 

“Mmm.” She said and sent a wink to Bucky, who just smiled a little back to her.

 

“Ew, you're really in love, aren't you?” Matt said and jokingly made a disgusted expression as he pointed to the couple. 

 

Jo smiled and just snuggled a bit closer to Bucky as he gave her a look full of love before he looked up to Matt.

“How old are you, by the way.” He asked him friendly.

 

“I'm 24, why?” 

“You do know it's not impossible to have a relationship while being in the army, right?” Bucky told him.

 

Matt shrugged. “Our old commander told us not to even bother getting a partner, since we were so busy with work and it wasn't important.”

 

“So that's it? You're not even gonna try?” Wanda asked him. He shrugged.

 

“I don't think I'm relationship material and when Jordan finally gets a call from the new General, I'll be too busy.”

 

“Matt, you will still have time to find someone. I can't spend four years again with not going home a few times in between.”

 

“Okay, now can we drop it?”

 

“Because you had a crush on me? No, you just have to try with anyone else.” 

 

He sighed. “So I should try with Tinder?”

 

“If that's what you want, yes.”

“I was kidding.” He sighed to her. “And honestly, I stopped having a crush on you a long time ago. I just got caught up in the moment of finally getting to see you again.”

 

“Sure, and you'll what, be happy with random hook ups for the rest of your life?” She asked him.

 

He shrugged. “So far I don't see a problem with it. Both get to get off and have a good time and there's no nagging or complaining about how much I talk about my tv shows...well, I get that complaining from you, so I'm good.”

 

“But you also add to the stereotype of us soldiers being players and not the reality, that a lot of us don't do that.” She added to him.

 

“Then so be it.” He said and smiled to her.

 

She didn't get any time to respond as a blue screen showed up and showed a man with blonde hair, looking to be in his forties.

 

“Ah, Captain Stark. I am General Mendes.” He said friendly to her.

 

She got up from the couch to stand up and matched his salute with her own and she did her best not to smile and laugh at hearing Matt laugh quietly to her left and she gave him a kick to his knee, making him go quiet, after letting out a “Fuck!”.

 

“What was that?” General Mendes asked her.

 

“I'm sorry sir, that was just privet Reed.” She said honestly.

 

“Ah, yes Matt Reed. I gotta tell you, it was weird to find out what happened to him. With coming back to life and be fine...anyway, the reason I called you is because since I've taken over I have not yet got the honor to meet you yet.” He said and smiled a bit to her.

 

“I would like to meet you in person on Monday, in three days at ten am. Would that work for you?”

 

“Yes sir, that will work for me.” She said and smiled a little.

 

“Great, oh and put Reed on as well.” Mendes said and she gave Matt a look and he joined her and gave the General a salute as he stood straight. 

 

“Since you two are the last members of the Alphas, I think it would be a good idea if you worked together to get not just the Coyotes in A team shape, but also our three new squads we will add.”

 

“Sir, I am the one with the leading title out of me and Reed and I am already busy with C squad.”

 

“Stark, you've done a amazing job with them but they are not as much in need of your time when it comes to training. You will still be the Captain in charge of the, in total, four squads and Reed will help you out with training them.”

 

“Does that mean that you're throwing a Sergeant's title to him for just coming back to life? Sir...” She added the “sir” as she saw a look from Steve.

 

“I assure you, Stark, he will have to earn that just like how you earned your title. I am just giving you a lot more work and thought he would be the best soldier to help you out, since I already know you two work well together, or have I been told wrong?”

 

“No sir, we do work great together. Can I just ask, why are you giving us all of this?”

 

“Your old boss should have done it a long time ago, you've both earned more responsibility a long time ago. I must go now, see you on Monday.” He said and they said bye and ended the call.

 

“Holy shit! I am so getting that Sergeant title!” Matt exclaimed to her.

 

“Don't jizz your pants just yet. I'm still your boss and I really am not giving you a break with all this added work.” She said and sat back down on the couch.

 

“It'll be fun, you get to boss people around and I get to help doing that.” Matt said and looked excited.

 

“No it won't. I had to start from the beginning with the C squad. I don't know if I have the energy to deal with more beginners. I mean, I'm a soldier, not a teacher.” She muttered.

 

“That's why you got me. I won't let the nebiews eat you alive.” He said in a friendly tease, making her smile a little.

 

“Come on Stark, you know we've got this. And we can place bets on them. I promise that I will find a way to make it fun.”

 

“Fine, I'm in but the real nut cases I'l give to you. If they can't get a clear headshot, I don't wanna see them.”

“Deal!” He said and smiled big as he joined her back on the couch.


	33. Chapter 33

The next morning Jordan and Bucky joined to sit next to Matt and Nat at the table to have breakfast, the rest of the team sat and talked a little.

 

“Morning Captain.”Matt said friendly to her as Bucky poured her a cup of coffee.

 

“Morning dickhead.” She muttered back to him as she was really not a morning person and sipped a little on her coffee.

 

“Can I leave a complain about my boss to you? She called me “dickhead”.” Matt asked her.

 

“Matt, I know it's been a while but don't talk to me when I still look like a zombie. It means I haven't woken up yet.” 

 

“See, Bucky got the memo.” She added and gestured to her silent husband. 

 

“Yeah...after you bit my head off... I guess the honeymoon phase really is over...” He said and drank some of his own coffee.

 

“Who even wants to have morning sex? That's just weird.” Jordan mumbled and drank her coffee.

 

“Good morning team!” A cheerful Tony came into the kitchen and stopped behind Jordans chair. “And good morning to the soldiers too.” He said and ruffed her hair a bit.

 

“Tony, remove your hand or I'll break it.” She muttered to him.

 

“Why so grumpy? No morning action?” He said and removed his hand from her hair.

 

“And you've got some this morning?” Jordan asked sarcastically to him.

 

“Yep.” Making her choke a little on her coffee. He removed his hand and went to sit on a stool at the island and turned around so he could see the team.

 

“See, it's not weird.” Bucky told her and she rolled her eyes to him.

 

“I agree, you have the most energy in the morning.” Matt said, joining in.

 

“See!” Bucky said.

 

“How about this, I finish my coffee and then I'll fuck your brains out, sounds good?” She muttered to him.

 

“I mean... it feels like you want me to say no...” Bucky said honestly and she sighed and put down her cup to look at him.

 

“You know I thought the instructions for how to deal with a super soldier was just: Lots of food, water and to make time to show off muscles. You just added: Sex at all times, specially in the morning.”

 

“I mean, if it's in the instructions manual...” Bucky teased her friendly.

 

“How about this, choose between rings and sex. Because you're just getting one of them.” Jordan told him.

 

“Oh right, you get really annoying the day after you've got a shit ton of work added.” Matt said and she nodded a yes to him.

 

“It's not just that, I need to make sure you're doing your job too. I am basically doing both of our jobs...” She said.

 

“You know I always do my part, you can just relax and try to enjoy bossing over people.” Matt said friendly to her.

 

“Besides, we've got another two days off work. Why not just relax or have some fun until it's time to go back?”

 

“I like this kid.” Tony said and smiled to him.

 

“How about we check out that place I suggested-” Bucky interrupted Clint.

“Or, we” He looked to Jordan. “just chill and have a Disney marathon. I still have a few yet to see.” 

 

She smiled to him and gave him a quick kiss before nodding a yes to him, making him smile. Matt rolled his eyes jokingly at them and got a shove to his ribs form Nat. 

 

“Ouch.” He told her and put a hand on his now sensitive rib. She just gave him a small smile.

 

“It takes a lot for Jo to not hide their relationship even from us, so don't roll your eyes or do anything that can make her think it's not okay for them to be together.” She said in a low voice to him and he nodded in agreement.

….........

“So, who am I gonna spar with?” Matt asked in seeing Jordan was busy with trying to punch Clint but the agent was good at blocking her blows.

 

“I'll be done in a moment!” Jordan called to him.

 

“I'm free. Let's see what you've got.” Nat said and gave him a cocky look before they began sparring and she took him down in a few seconds. 

 

“Army training, not really the same as agent training, huh? We usually just punch or shoot the bad guys.” Matt said as she gave him a hand and he got back up on his feet.

 

“Again.” Nat stated and they went again.

 

“Okay, I'm done with Clint.” Jordan said and turned around to see Matt and Nat in the middle of rolling around on the floor, Matt desperately trying to get the upper hand and after a moment Jordan saw that Nat let him and he came on top and made “Ha!” sound in victory.

 

He looked down to her and smiled and the rest of the people in the gym could see that they had a moment. The moment got killed when Nat threw him off her and smirked at him as she got up and he got a hand from Jordan to get up from the floor as he couldn't take his eyes off Nat as she went to drink some water before talking to Steve and they left they gym.

 

“Matt.” Jordan snapped with her fingers in front of his eyes and finally go this attention and a stupid smirk.

 

“I think she likes me.” 

 

“No, Nat does not like you. She sees you like a annoying kid that she can use to show off her agent skills on and no, I do not mean anything sexual with that.”

 

“Boss, she-”

“As your boss I will tell you this: leave her alone and focus on training. Now, you're sparring with me.”

 

He sighed but nodded and they went to work with sparring against each other. She blocked his blows and could tell he wasn't fully focused as she a while later went ahead to throw a kick to his stomach and he didn't block it good enough. He groaned out by the pain and fell to sit on his knees, holding his hands at his lower stomach and groin.

 

“For fucks sake, why! Why me!” He swore out and she winced a little by seeing him in pain because if her.

 

“I hit your stomach, it's not even a injury!” She said defensively to him.

 

“No Stark, you also hit my crotch! You hit just a bit of my stomach.” He groaned out to her.

 

“Didn't you wear a fucking cup?!” 

 

“Does this look like I remembered to?!” 

 

“Fuck, I'm sorry. Okay, let's get you down to the medics.” She said and pulled him up by his arm to help him stand.

 

He groaned, muttered and swore a lot as she helped him up. Once up he didn't want her anywhere close to him and she slowly led the way out of the gym. With all of the swearing coming from Matt Steve and Nat soon popped out of the weight lifting gym and asked what had happened.

 

“I have the worst boss ever.” Matt said, making them raise their eyebrows a bit.

 

“Matt-” She went silent at his hard look to her.

 

“I really DON'T like you right now, so shut up.” He said in a angry tone to her.

 

“She kicked me... and I think I'll lose it...” He said and got a bit tear eyed.

 

Jordan rolled her eyes at him. “I aimed at his stomach and he didn't block it properly so I hit his crotch and stomach and now he thinks he'll lose his dick.”

 

“Do you know how much pain I am in because of you? ALSO, I'm the one that has actually tried the whole being dead thing and this feels very much like it!” He said to her.

 

“You're not even bleeding, if you did, then you could freak out about maybe losing your dick.” She told him.

 

“Shut up and stay away from me.” He muttered and slowly made his way towards the elevators.

 

“Dude, you don't even know where to go.” Jordan told him and got a fuck you finger in response from him.

 

“Steve, do you mind making sure he gets to the right place?” She sighed and shot him a look.

 

“I don't need Captain America to babysit me!” Was heard from Matt.

 

“No, you need to get checked out so you can help me train newbies! Now shut it and deal with it.” She told him as Steve made his way over to him and told Jarvis to take them to the hospital wing with a non too happy looking Matt.  
…............

 

A while later Steve dropped Matt off to lay on the couch next to the kitchen. Matt adjusted his ice bag to cover the still sore area as he let out a shaky breath as it still hurt a lot. Steve had to leave to talk to Tony about something according to the AI and Matt were alone for a while until Bucky came and gave him a friendly pat to his shoulder and made him look up a bit to him.

 

“I heard what happened. How bad is it?” He asked him friendly and sat down next to him in a armchair.

 

“I should be lucky she was not using her air powers... if she had I would probably have to pee with the help of bag by now.” Matt said a bit with dark humor in his voice as he adjusted the ice bag a little and winced.

 

“It hurts like hell and the nurse said the swelling should be down in a few days. I guess that's a bit better than actually breaking it. Though, I really thought she was done sabotaging my dick now that she wants me to get out in the dating world.”

 

“I'm sorry that happened, she's been sparring with all of us and no one has been injured like that. You have some really bad luck.” Bucky told him friendly and gave him a sympathetic smile. 

 

“I don't know... it felt like she was angry when we sparred. I don't know if I read it wrong but I get if she was. I mean, I was gone and she saw me get killed... of course she's gonna be angry with me now being back and bring out flashbacks of the rest of the Alphas...” Matt said and looked down.

 

“I don't know. If she's been having flashbacks or felt that way, she hasn't told me about it.” Bucky said gently to Matt, who looked up and gave him a sorry look.

 

“I heard you gave it a shot with sparring with Nat.” Bucky told him, switching the subject and made the other man smirk a bit and nod.

 

“Yeah. She took me down in a few seconds. It was so hot.” He said, smiling and Bucky chuckled a bit.

 

“Oh son, she could eat you alive.” Bucky told him friendly and gave him a small, teasing smile.

 

Matt smirked back. “I don't think think I would mind it.”

 

“I really don't think you're her type. I don't even know if she has a type. Anyway, you should start by some girl your age and go on dates and all that.”

 

“I know. But she's still hot. And really great at sparring.” 

 

Bucky gave him a friendly look and Matt jokingly rolled his eyes at him. “I'll try, but dating usually doesn't end well for me and with another kick to my crotch it might not even start out great. Damn, I used to be great at sex and now I've got a crazy boss that ruined that for me.”

 

“How do you even dare letting her close to yours? You do know she's deadly?” 

 

Bucky laughed and shook his head a little to the man. “No, sure it gets rough at times but she's never hurt me down there. I really think you just need to start wearing a cup and she needs to stop kicking you.”

 

“Jordan being a freak in bed? Damn.” He joked and got a look from Bucky that told him to nicely drop it. He let out a small laugh.

 

“Really though, she made Steve babysit me. Do you know how awkward it is to go get your dick checked and have freaking Captain America asking how many ice packs you need?” 

 

Bucky just couldn't help but laugh at Matt's dramatic tone and his matching, disturbed expression.

 

“You're still alive, good, then I don't have to fire you.” Jordan said with humor in her voice as she walked up to the men and sat down on a armrest of Bucky's chair, turned to Matt.

 

“Stay away from me, evil boss.” He told her simply.

 

“Are you gonna be able to go to work on Monday?” She asked, ignoring his statement.

 

“I don't know, they said a few days until it's all good for action but not more exact than that.” Matt told her friendly.

 

“Look, I'm sorry I hurt you but I really need you over there. I can't deal with that many newbies by myself. If you really need more time before you can work properly, let me know and I'll work something out.”

 

“Wow, you really do feel bad for this.” He said and made a pointed look to the ice bag and she nodded a yes.

 

“Of course I do. You just got back and I got way too into my head while working out. I hope you don't hate me too much.” She said in a sorry voice.

 

He gave her a soft smile. “I could never hate you. I took a ton of bullets for you and I still don't hate you.” 

 

“Are you sure? I mean, I might have ruined your future sex life and what if you want to have kids someday and thanks to me you can't. That's a lot to be fine with.” She told him calmly.

 

“There's viagra and I really don't want kids. After everything we've seen, I don't get how one would just go do that when there's so much shit happening in this world.” Matt said seriously and shot her a raised eyebrow.

 

“Wait, are you having kids?...”

 

“No, I agree with your reasoning.” She said as Bucky said “Haven't talked about it really.”

 

The two best friends turned their attention to Bucky and he cleared his throat. 

 

“You do know it's a no from me, right?” She asked her husband.

 

“Yes, now I do. I just meant that you're young and still have a lot of time to change your mind about that.” Bucky told her gently.

 

“But I won't. I don't even like kids.”

 

“I know. I'm not saying you will change your mind, just that IF you do, it's fine by me.”

 

“So it's just fine, because that's all you've got to feel when a kid's coming...” She said sarcastically to her husband.

 

“No... look, I'm happy with what we've got, and any “maybe” future plans I'll probably not be against. If it isn't suicide missions. Now stop using my own words against me.” 

 

“Whatever,” She said and shrugged and turned her attention to Matt. “Feeling any better?”

 

“I don't feel the taste of blood anymore and I think the ice pack has sort of numbed it.” Matt told her.

 

“I've had worse, so stop worrying about me. I'll try to be there on Monday.” He added at seeing her slight worried look.

 

“Okay, well I better go start packing and drop off my suit to Tony.” She said and said bye to them before leaving to head to her and Bucky's room.  
…............

The next day Bucky finally got her to pick out rings with him and they ended up with discreet silver rings that matched the color of his metal hand and she liked her smooth ring as she never were one for jewelry and got him to agree that on the weekends when she wasn't at the base, she would wear it but for work he got to be fine with her leaving it at home as she wanted to keep her personal life private from the squads.


	34. PTSD is a living hell...

Monday came and they had to say bye to the team, Matt still having a ice pack but this time on the inside of his cup as he didn't wanna miss the first day. It had made Jordan laugh at first but then thanked him for still going with her as she needed him at the base to train the four squads.

 

The two friends got dressed in their army clothes and acted very professionally and made sure to stand straight and correctly as they introduced themselves to the first new squad, continuing like that with the rest as well. It turned out the ground work was already done but they had to put time and energy into getting them to polish their training to be smoother and better and over all into A squad shape. 

 

Matt was a great right hand to her and they worked great together and had fun working as a team again with thinking alike and making jokes to pass the time when they had some free time. They also spent their time placing some bets on which they thought would be taking the next step up and Matt lost one out of four times so far and it was only week one.

…................

 

Matt Reed had covered up his sever PTSD with his constant facade of being fine, that was until Friday, that first week back at the base, came and he suddenly in the middle of practicing with one of the new squads, went down on his knees and started to cry and hyperventilate as he felt like he was drowning by sorrow and survival guilt as being back to the base made him think of their old squad and how they are no longer with them anymore.

 

It got so bad he skipped work a full week and basically just laid in bed and being depressed and feeling empty, frustrated and angry. So, Jordan decided to when he got in a neutral (not showing that jokingly smile he always had on and just being really off and not his happy, full of jokes self) she drags him with her back to New York and to the compound. Dumping him in a guest room, that happened to be her old room, as she had tried so many times to talk to him but he just either said he was fine or didn’t answer her.

 

She went to the common floor and found Bucky, Steve and Tony in the kitchen, drinking coffee. She sighed and asked them to help her help her friend. They told her basically to just be supportive and be there for him. She let out a frustrated sigh but nodded and went to her and Bucky's apartment to spend some time googling how she could help her friend.

….....................

 

After the weekend and Monday comes around the corner, she and Matt got dressed in their army clothes and let Clint drop them off at the base early morning so they wouldn’t be late for work.

 

The week goes by with him still mostly just being off and still not wanting to talk to her. Though, she noticed that he sucked it up and was actually doing a good job with being her right hand with the training of the squads and didn't have any more public melt downs.  
….............

 

Friday afternoon came back around and Clint picked them up from the base in a quinjet and they got back to the compound to spend the weekend there as Jordan had made sure she got home on the weekends as she would spend too much time away from her husband if she didn’t.

 

Again, Matt took her old room and they made plans to get changed into normal clothes and in two hours meet up a block away, where the group therapy session would be held. 

 

She spent her time taking a relaxing bath before it got time to get dressed in skinny jeans, a olive green stylish shirt and a black jacket as it was still cold outside, sunglasses and dark joggers before she headed out to wait by her car that was parked in The Avengers’s part of the huge garage, waiting for Matt to come.

 

She stood there waiting for a long time and in seeing she would be late if she didn’t leave no, she sighed and got in the car and headed off, as she thought he must have left already.  
.......

She came home two hours later, looking pissed and found Nat and Matt kissing in the kitchen right before they broke away and the team entered the floor, chatting friendly.

 

“You ditched me to get laid!?” Jordan asked Matt in a angry tone, making the pair look at her and the team to go silent as they watched the scene play out before them.

 

Jordan crossed her arms over her chest, looking pissed at her best friend.

“Jordan, it’s not-“

 

“Don’t tell me some stupid lie like “it’s not what it looks like”! I’m not stupid. I know you think with your dick all the fucking time. I just didn’t think that would be more important than making sure you kept up your end of our deal!”

 

Matt sighed as he moved a bit closer to her. “I was gonna go, I just... I had better things to do here instead of listening to people complain about stuff.” He told her.

 

“It’s a group therapy session! And you promised me you would go if I went with you, does that mean nothing to you?!”

 

“Jo-“ he got silenced by her sending a wave of wind at his face, making him shut up before she left the room and headed to the elevator, leaving him to let out a sigh.

….......

They continued like that, every weekend spending their time at the compound and their work days training the squad. Jordan was just getting into the quinjet and told Clint they were almost ready for take off, turning her head she saw Matt making out with Nat right in front of the entrance to the quinjet. 

 

“Reed, get onboard, right now.” She ordered him firmly.

“Mm, what you gonna do about it?” He hummed out to her and went back to kissing the agent.

 

She didn't like that he was dodging getting help for his mental health to be with her friend and at his question she felt the anger begin to boil underneath her skin and she sent a wave of wind that made them separate from each other.

“Onboard, now.” She ordered him.

 

Matt sent her a arched eyebrow but went back to kissing Nat. Jordan felt angry by the weird pairing the two of them made and also, he had just been very disrespectful towards his boss so she walked up to them and grabbed hold of the neckline of his not fully zipped up army jacket and dragged him up to board the jet.

 

“Jordan, chill-” Matt tired but she sent him a angry look.

“We're on work hours now, you're supposed to be listening to me.” She informed him firmly before he let out a sigh and slowly nodded in agreement and they sat down, as Clint got the jet ready to fly.  
….............

 

The next weekend he stood her up again and that time it hurt even more then before as he had promised her all week that he would go with her. She still went to the meeting as it helped her but when she a few hours, still dressed in army clothes as she had got there straight from the base, got to the common floor she was seriously pissed at Matt.

 

“You ditched me again! This is the fourth time you've chosen sex before actually trying to keep up your end of our deal. It's like you want me to get pissed at you!” She said in a raised and pissed of tone, ignoring that the team was looking at her as she confronted him where he sat, dressed in jeans a t-shirt next to Nat on the couch next to the kitchen with a arm around her shoulders.

 

“Jo, I meant what I promised.” He said as he got up and went a head to walk up to her, a bit away from where Nat sat. looking a bit regretful to his friend.

 

“Like hell you did! I gave you a break the last two times but you promised me all week that you would at least give it a shot!”

 

“Why should I?! Nothing will help me by talking about what happened!” He exclaimed to her.

 

“Because I need you! I can't take care of four squads on my own and I need my best man there to help me out with them!” 

 

“See, that, that right there is the only reason I'm sticking around.” He muttered to her.

 

“What the hell are you talking about!?” She asked him in a raised voice.


	35. Chapter 35

“ I- I just want this all this shit to fucking end already...” He mumbled out.

 

“Bu fucking hu. Do you think I've had it any easier than you? No. it will suck for a while but then you'll get a little bit better when you try and give it a fair shot at it!” She snapped back to him.

 

“Stark! Why not just let me deal with myself the way I chose to?” He said firmly to her.

 

“Fine. You know what? I'm done trying to help you anyway.” She said and calmly crossed her arms over her chest as she looked at him.

 

“Go ahead and get addicted to sex, alcohol, add a touch of sever depression and end it already.” She said in a dark voice to him.

 

“Jordan-” He cut himself off as he met her firm look and let out a frustrated sigh as he ran a hand through his short black hair as she turned on her heel and started to head out of the room.

 

He caught up to her and grabbed her right wrist to make her stop. She turned quickly to face him and blasted him with a hard wind that threw him up against the closes wall as she gave him a angry look, as he let out a low grunt from the force.

 

“Tell me why I should even listen to you when all you do is make empty promises and give me false hope?!” 

 

“I found the eulogies you wrote for me and the squad in the desk drawer in my room....” He said after catching his breath from hitting the wall. 

 

“Mine was the less personal... I know that means you had a really bad time writing it and I can't end it... Not when I'll risk brining you back down now that you're doing so good.” He said calmly to her and gave her a gentler look even though he was still up against the wall by her air manipulation.

 

“So you're miserably alive because you don't want to make my hellish PTSD any worse?” She asked in a normal tone and he nodded a yes to her.

 

“Matt... you need to get help. Real help, not using sex or trying to shove it all down and try to move on like it's nothing.” She said gently to him and he hung a bit with his head.

 

“That's how I was raised. My dad used to never show any real emotions...” He said and looked up to her again.

She made a move with her right hand and he was released from her power's grip on him and he sent her a small thankful look.

 

“I'll share if you'll share.” She said to him and he nodded slowly a yes to her.

 

“Mom died when I was a little and dad was one of those wannabe though guys that like to pretend they didn't feel anything. When he died, it was how I tried to move on and it got stuck with me.” Matt told her honestly.

 

“My parents didn't like my “avatar power” so they moved out without telling me and for years lived in their own house. I had a few nannies that took care of me until my parents died in a plane crash.” She told him calmly and he dropped his jaw at hearing this.

 

“Wh- what? But your air manipulation is awesome.” Matt told her.

 

“I overheard them a few times when they thought I wasn't nearby and that's how I one time found out about their new address. I paid them a visit that night and that's when I found out my dad was a part time assassin.” She continued calmly.

 

“What?!” Was heard from Matt and Bucky, who was sitting not too far from them in the kitchen next to Steve and Tony.

 

“Wow, that's way worse than my dad.” Matt said in a sorry voice.

 

“His day job was being a Sergeant Major. When I found out he had his part time job, I lost all trust in titles and that's why it took me so long to finally say yes to the offers I got....” She added. 

 

“I can't believe you had to deal with that...” Matt said almost softly to her.

 

“The best thing my parents ever did was me and dying. I was eight and had to move in with Tony. That was probably the best day in my life back then.”

 

“Oh honey...” She heard Bucky let out softly to her and she turned to face him.

 

“I'm okay. Really. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier though, but it's in the past and I never think about it anymore. Though I did have commitment issues, that you fixed.” She said simply to him and gave him a small smile before she got a nod from him and she turned her focus back to Matt.

 

“I know getting help and actually talking about it is hard, but I would be really happy if you at least gave it a try.” 

 

“Okay, I'll try but no way I'm gonna go by myself.” Matt told her.

 

“I'll go with you, but if you ditch me again I will go so hard on your ass the rest of the week at work that you won't be able to sit down.” 

 

Matt smiled a little to her and nodded in agreement. “Aye aye Captain.” He said in a friendly tease.

 

“Watch it Reed, don't try making fun of your boss now.” She said in a jokingly warning and he smiled a little and nodded again.

 

She let out a deep sigh. “I'm still pissed at you. Just seeing your stupid face makes my blood boil...”

 

“Because I slept with one of your friends a few times or that I'm charmingly suicidal?” He said and smirked half joking smirk to her.

 

“Both. You really shouldn't try anything with Nat, she'll ruin you. And I'm telling you this as your friend, I don't want her to destroy you in any way.”

 

“As my friend, shouldn't you just be happy I'm not all alone all the time and actually have someone to hangout with?”

 

“Reed, you horny son of a bitch. I know you and I know her, you're both using each other and you're barely taking care of yourself with putting sex above everything else. Mostly your mental health.” She told him a bit firmly.

 

“How about I promise to show up at all the sessions, will you drop it then?” He suggested.

 

“I honestly don't really trust that you'll actually keep your promises with your latest track record and if you don't show up... I...”

 

She let out a sigh. “I see no point in keeping you if you're gonna be a liability to me and the squads.”

 

“You wanna fire me?” He asked a bit chocked.

 

“No, I really don't want to but I need you to get help, to get better so you can keep your job. I hate that I have to say all this, but you understand where I'm coming from. Our old commander would have been much harder on you and probably already have kicked you off.”

 

“Stark, are you going soft on me?” He teased her friendly and she sent him a small smile.

 

“I want you to stay alive and as much as I feel nauseated from my threat, I have to do this.”

 

“I know and it's okay. I would never get angry at you for thinking of the squads's best interests.” He told her calmly.

 

“And I guess the job is my second reason for still being here, so... I'll stop dicking around and get fixed.” He promised her.

 

She nodded to him. “I need water.” She muttered and he followed her to the island as she headed to the sink and got a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water and drank calmly and once she was done she put the glass in the dishwasher only to look up to see Nat and Matt kissing almost next to where the super soldiers sat. 

 

With a wave of her hand she had Matt get thrown back to be held by her power towards the wall he had earlier been up against. He let out a loud grunt and she got a few looks like she was overdoing it. 

 

“You just agreed to stop dicking around and give your mental health a fair shot.” She told him and he sent her a slight annoyed look.

 

“Also, I am making it my mission to cock block you as much as possible until I see you start getting better and I will have FRIDAY put surveillance on you if you start using women as a form of self medication.” She told him firmly.

 

“Fine.” He grunted out to her but proceeded in smirking a bit to her. “Only if you don't get any action either. That seems more than fair.” 

 

“Give up sex with my super soldier of a husband to help you fix your mental health and stop you from making another mistake by continuing to sleep with Nat? Fuck yeah, it's a deal.” She said and let him free from the wall.

 

He took a second to get his balance back before he walked back up to the island as Bucky shot her a slight “what the actual fuck” look.

 

“You do know that it could take a really long time before he starts getting better, right?” Bucky asked her.

 

“My first priority is my squad, well squads now, and he's a part of that. I will do anything to not lose another member and I'd be happy to give something as simple as sex up for that.” She told him firmly.

 

“...you really make me feel like a dick for asking this, but... what about us...?” 

 

She shrugged. “We never said anything about not being allowed to masturbate. So, do that. Now I gotta go take a shower and then do some boring paperwork.”

 

“Can I still kiss you?” He asked her and she sent a look to Matt.

“You're married, I would feel like a idiot if I stopped you from doing that.” he told them.

 

“Still, you're staying the hell away from Nat and any other woman that you find attractive.” Jordan told him and he agreed to it.

 

Bucky gently took her right hand in his, making her turn to face him and he gave her a small smile before they closed in and he gave her a kiss. 

“Hey...” He said softly to her as they broke apart.

 

“Hey yourself. I'm sorry I barged in and didn't even think about you until a little while ago.” She told him gently.

 

“Don't worry about it. You took your work home and had to deal with it.” He joked a little and made the two friends laugh a little.

 

“Though it does suck that you agreed to that deal since I had something planned for later...” He said and winked to her.

 

“Goddammit, you are not allowed to flirt with me as long as I'm trying to hold my part of the deal.” She said to him and he smiled to her.

….........

She later had a talk with Natasha and the agent had told her calmly that she had just been bored when she had agreed to hook up with her friend and promised she had her mind set on work from now on until something better came along. Jordan had nodded and he two women had left it off as friends.  
…..............


End file.
